This Is Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid To Change for Someone

Life is madness; a hopeless social experiment. We are all so wonderfully complicated. Everyone is struggling to carry around a million broken pieces of us we don’t understand. We take these piece, and try to mesh them with others. We start out slow and show only the pretty pieces, the shiny ones that gleam in the light, then slowly pull out the pieces that scare us. The pieces that demand attention from the dusty corners they would never truly settle into. We naively hope our pieces will play nice and all fit together, but its never quite that seamless. Some fit perfectly and some not at all. Sometimes we have the same pieces, the same heartache, and the same lack of strength the other person so desperately craves.

When we were kids and pieces of our puzzle didn’t fit, we’d quickly move on, but people are different. We try incessantly to get those pieces to fit. We try and try until we are so exhausted and disheartened by failure that we quit, but we’re never truly free of it. No matter how hard we try, we can’t deny being changed by the time we spent trying to make them fit, and we can’t shake the memory of comfort we felt when those few pieces fit so well. We are always hungry to be whole, but now our pieces are even more jagged and harder to fit, leaving us stranded.

Its drilled into our head that we should never change for someone, we’re injected with this puffed chest attitude that we are inherently perfect. We are told we shouldn’t change for anyone. This sets us up for failure. Though we take pride in our pieces (because really what else do we have) maybe we could let them evolve and grow into something more compatible. Sometimes you change your pieces, when you want badly enough to take away the pain of someone’s un-wholeness. Sometimes their pieces change too.