10 Things That Happen When You’re With A Girl Who Wants You, But Doesn’t Need You

If you’ve ever dated a stubbornly independent woman, you know how difficult it can be to become accustomed to someone who doesn’t need you but wants you in their life. Here are a few things you should expect when you begin a relationship with a self-sufficient girl.


1. She won’t feel the need to apologize for her flaws.

She knows she has them, she is aware of that. She simply doesn’t feel the need to say sorry for the things that make her imperfect because she has already accepted those things and to a girl like her, her opinion is the only one that really matters.

2. She will not sacrifice her dreams for you.

Until she is completely ready, settling down is not on her agenda. She will still move to Denver because she wants to be in the mountains or go cliff jumping in Hawaii. You’re not going to stop her from going into the Peace Corps after college with a diamond ring and the promise of some babies. Her life is her life and you can be along for the ride or not, it won’t change her mind.

3. She knows she’s a little selfish.

She wants what she wants and if that makes her selfish, so be it.

4. She doesn’t need to wake up next to you. She wants to.

If you’re in her life, it’s because she wants you there. It may be difficult to be with someone who doesn’t need you to be able to breathe. Sure, if you walked out of her life, she might be sad but she’s still going to get up, go to work, and live her life. And unless you are truly life changing, she is never going to beg for you to come back. She’s too independent for that.

5. She’s not going to text you 24/7.

She has this thing. It’s called a life. It’s called her job and her friends and a million other things that were there before you were. So she might disappear for a few hours because she wants to watch Meredith fall in love on Grey’s or she wants to read Pride and Prejudice without you breathing too loudly. Ok that might be harsh but the point is, she has things that she likes to do alone. For girls like this, being alone is a recharge.

6. She might shut you out.

This isn’t because she is cold. This is because in order to touch her heart, someone would have to be truly incredible. You should know you’re very special if you learn the reason behind her deep love for the name James or why she isn’t close with her father. She is not going to let you in this far if you don’t deserve to be there.

7. She doesn’t need you to love her, for her to love herself.

She is probably in love with her laugh and the way she curls her hair. She probably thinks she’s pretty funny and probably laughs at her own jokes. She is the sunshine of her world and you won’t change her perspective on herself, no matter what.

8. She isn’t interested in your money.

She has her own livelihood. Her job is important to her because her independence is important to her. She loves being able to buy whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

9. She won’t ask your permission.

It’s her hair, her face, her body, and it’s her mind. Just because you prefer her hair long doesn’t mean she won’t pixie it just because the weather was right. You never know what you’ll get with this one. She’s unpredictable and if you don’t see that as a charm, it’s ok: she does.

10. She will love you passionately.

Just because she doesn’t need you in her life, doesn’t mean she won’t fight for you to stay there. She may love you and in that case, she will let you know. She’s confident enough in herself to show her real feelings. So if you’re lucky enough to be blessed with love from an independent woman, don’t be dumb enough to lose it.

Though women like this are sometimes difficult to get to know and even more difficult to make a staple in your life, they are always, always worth it. If an annoyingly independent woman falls in love with you, you’ll know it’s because she wants you, because honestly, she doesn’t need you for any other reason.