7. Kara Findley
My number 1 relationship hack revolves around honey-do requests. We often find ourselves asking “Did you… .” This lingo inherently sounds critical, especially if the person has not done the task yet, which they probably haven’t. They are pretty likely to get defensive and become even less likely to do the task, so it’s lose-lose.
INSTEAD, ask them using this phrasing – “Have you had the chance to….?” It takes the pressure off the person, helping them save face by letting them blame their busy (or not so busy) schedule for not having done the requested task yet, rather than taking the blame themselves. The result is a much more positive response that is likely to lead to that task getting done = win-win.
This tip may work better on men then on women, but I tend to use it any question involving a requested task – with friends, family, colleagues, my boss – and it works wonders.