28 Incredible Stories Of Wedding Faux Pas That’ll Have You Cringing In Your Seats

Found on r/AskWomen.

1. Don’t do this

The father of the bride started his toast with, “When I heard my daughter was engaged to a negro I said to myself, Oh no!” He then proceeded to list every black stereotype he was afraid his new son in law would have. He ended the toast with, “But Son in Law proved me wrong. Son in Law taught me that some negroes are okay.” Then there was a lot of kissing and clapping from the Bride and her family.

It was sooooo fucking awful. The Groom’s family was mostly silent, except for the father of the groom who was angrily mumbling “Negro?!” for the rest of the night.

2. No words

Bride was shitfaced and climbed under the head table and proceeded to suck her new hubbies dick. Later that night she passed out in between the elevator and lobby…her tits had popped completely out of her vomit covered dress. At the end of the night the groom had to open envelopes from wedding gifts to scrape together the money to pay the limo driver. My date and I went up to his groomsmen’s hotel room where we saw the groom and his friends shooting heroin while his wife lay naked on the bed completely out cold. It was quite an event.

3. Pretty bad? No, this one is terrible

A friend of mine from high school was getting married to her first ever boyfriend who I knew was kind of a douche, but whatever, we were going to support a friend.

She invited all of us to her wedding by creating a Facebook invite. The event page ended up becoming basically a place for the groom to post information about the wedding such as:

1. Only family will be invited to dinner, here are some restaurants in shit box town that you can try instead!

2. We are charging $2 per drink for dinner guests. We will be increasing the drink price during the reception for those of you not invited to the dinner but are going to the reception.

3. (After outcry from the previous rule) We don’t want anyone drinking too much or making any bad decisions, so that is why we are increasing the drink price. We also need the extra money to fund the midnight lunch.

I was pissed off about the drink thing (probably a bit more than I should have been) for many reasons. My friends and I weren’t invited to the dinner since we weren’t family, the wedding was also very far away and required all of us to spend two nights in a hotel, and when the couple did actually send out their invitations (a month before the wedding) they included a gift registry even though we had to pay for hotels and our own meal and drinks.

I sent the groom a Facebook message regarding the drink prices because I used to be an event planner and I know the laws around liquor permits. In our province it is illegal to charge anymore than $2 unless it is a fundraiser or something. I sent a very civil, polite message informing him of this and this and the reply was this exact message:

“Lol thanks for the advice. I’m well aware of drink permits, so be at ease we are fine. By technicality I am the head of a not for profit organization so we have a little more liberty.”

I responded:

“So this wedding is serving as a fundraiser for your not-for-profit organization? Will I be given a tax receipt for the gift I give you and drink purchases?”

He did not respond.

When we finally got to the wedding which was in the middle of nowhere, we sat through a 2.5 hour church service, followed by a long break while the family ate supper. We arrived at the reception to find out that it was literally ONLY the bride’s friends who weren’t invited, so no, it wasn’t a family affair after all. The speeches went on and on about how the bride is so tiny and the groom was a football player in high school so he is really big. ISN’T THAT SO FUNNY?! Many of my guy friends at the end said “I’m kind of sick about hearing how big and strong the groom is”. It was definitely “the groom show” and not “the couple show”.

They also each had one mentally handicapped person in their wedding parties. When they were thanking their brides and groomsmen, the groom’s voice started to quiver as he introduced the handicapped individuals. He said something along the lines of “we have a junior bridesmaid and groomsman up here have had a really tough time in their lives…” then he burst out sobbing and said “and we are just so happy to have them with us today.” The way he said the speech made it sound like they were patting themselves on the back for being nice and tolerant and “letting the handicaps be in the wedding party”. They also couldn’t really be considered junior brides/groomsmen because they were a lot older than the couple getting married, so it didn’t make sense.

After the speeches, there was a “bride dance” and a “groom dance” where guests have a chance to take the couple for “one last spin” or whatever. Before the bride dance started, the groom got on stage and said “Okay everyone, I’m going to allow you to dance with my wife. However, I will ask that if you dance with her that you make a donation to buying our first house,” so all the guests had to pay money to dance with the bride.

The groom dance was to “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred. The groom was not in the best shape and he also isn’t the most attractive fellow, but he proceeded to strip off his clothes and get on stage in just his suspenders and dress pants as the guests quietly hurled.

Later on in the night, they passed a shoe around to get more donations.

It was a pretty bad wedding.

4. Seriously, don’t

My mother got completely trashed and showed up at the door of our honeymoon suite wearing nothing but a bathmat. She then climbed into our bed and threw up in our garbage can. Don’t do that.

5. That’s horrible

Recently I went to a wedding of a childhood friend; we aren’t that close anymore but we’re on good terms. She’s Chinese American, married a white guy from New Orleans. Others in the bride’s party mentioned to me that it seems like there’s a bit of drama with the groom’s mom….and that they been getting the impression that this is the first time the groom’s parents have really interacted with Asians….and I heard the groom’s mom tried talking him out of this marriage. I’ve known the couple for a few years and they are great together and really match. He defended his bride all the way to the mom.

Faux Pas: the groom’s mom and her family talking loudly, at the wedding/reception, about how the marriage isn’t going to last. Them taking bets about how long they think they will be together before the “inevitable” divorce.

6. That’s pathetic

At my sister’s wedding reception, her new MIL got pretty wasted. She was complaining about the way her wrap skirt was fitting, so she opened it up completely at the edge of the dance floor and flashed my aunt. When she went outside to smoke she started chatting up some random 20 yr olds who were also out there smoking and invited them into the reception to join her at the open bar. Those guys then started trying to grind on the 12-14 yr old girls that were dancing at the reception and had to be strong-armed to leave.

7. “Deep Middle East”

Don’t “cheer shoot” an AK or any other firearms at a wedding. Ever.

Source: I’ve seen too many weddings from the deep Middle East

8. Don’t get too wasted

The last wedding I photographed, the sister just got incredibly drunk. I felt really bad because it honestly seemed like she had a severe drinking problem because she was absolutely off her rocker in the way someone on crack would be.

She was shoeless, screaming-barfing and spitting at people and bawling outside the reception hall where my work partner and I were taking our dinner break at the time. This was maybe one hour after the ceremony had ended, and there was ZERO liquor allowed at that particular venue.

Eventually she ended up in the gravel parking lot, still screaming and crying. She lost her balance several times and fell face first into the gravel twice. Last I saw her, she was sitting up against the car surrounded by 3 or 4 people and just crying before they loaded her into the back seat to pass out.

Two hours later my partner and I came out for a smoke break and overheard that she had escaped and people were looking for her…..

9. “LOOK AT ME!”

Drunk girl grabbed the microphone from the bride and slurred a teary, broken speech to the awestruck guests. 300 person wedding. Expensive, classy affair. The words of the speech were about how great the bride was but the purpose of the speech was to say “LOOK AT ME!” Other things this woman has done at weddings: dressed inappropriately (ladies, there is nothing morally wrong with you dressing how you like but at a wedding please try to consider the likelihood of nip slips/cooter flashing when at a classy affair) and more or less lap danced with the groom, is a repeat offender for nip slips, tried to drive home drunk, passed out in the bathroom, started fights, and stolen dates. She is getting married soon. I briefly entertained the notion of showing up at her wedding and doing all the things she did to others. The woman is a walking faux pas.

10. Not a faux pas, just…an awful family

At my wedding, my now ex-MIL wore the same ivory color all over that I was wearing, and generally tried to upstage me. Some of her family also tried to steal the top cake that we had explicitly stated we were keeping, and spit gum into the church plants (adults, not kids), and were generally loud, rude, and embarrassing.

11. Um…

The groom’s cousin had got married at the start of wedding season, then had her strapless offwhite wedding dress shortened to knee length. She wore it at several weddings that summer, including at least two at which the bride was also wearing a strapless offwhite gown.

12. Jimmy?

Priest was hand picked by the couple because the bride worked with him at the Archdiocese. He is an hour late, and keeps getting the couple’s names wrong.

He is walking with braces and crutches, and he keeps making handicapped jokes.

Good times.

13. Mothers actually do this?

My boyfriend worked catering for a wedding venue. Distinctly remembered one groom’s mother coming around and trying to get the attractive female servers to “convince” her son he made a mistake getting married.

Yep, she was trying to get her son to cheat on his wife at the reception. Pretty bad.

14. “Get it girl!”

Used to waitress at weddings, during one memorable speech the father of the groom remarked that the brides parents must be happy that they “still have two virgins left!” Another wedding featured a cake topper depicting the bride with her dress hiked up around her hips and straddling the groom. Get it, girl.

15. Why…

I was officiating the second wedding of my friend’s parents and when it came time for them to read their vows the groom, thinking he was funny, started reading from the obituaries he had clipped from the paper. The bride was not pleased and it got real awkward for a second.

16. Terrible service

The officiant called the groom by the wrong name, and also made a joke about the fact that the bride and one of the groomsmen used to date. His service was just terrible too, long and rambling about Pocahontas and John Smith being high schoolers who worked at pizza hut, and the layout of his own bathroom. He didn’t even show up to rehearsal either, so the bride and groom were kind of blindsided.

17. MIL is crazy

Bride’s mom wanted to show off to her remarried ex-husband.

Bride and mom went dress shopping for mom, picked out a dress and bride had to leave early for an appointment. Mom put dress back and bought a just barely off white dress instead.

Mom showed off her control top underwear in front of the grandfather of the groom, a very conservative man.

Mom demanded that her and her 4 friends who neither the bride nor groom sit at the wedding party table. This was fixed by having a table for just the bride and groom and another for the wedding party.

Mom made a big show of giving a money tree sculpture thing to bride and groom with a bunch of 20’s on the branches. Found out after the oohing and aahing that this was money that was owed to them and not actually a wedding gift.

Day of the wedding, mom tried to kick the grandparents of the groom out of their seats at the church for her and her friends that nobody knew. Groom’s mom was having none of it.

One of the groomsmen got wasted the day of the wedding. Bride’s father, a cop, picked him up from the restaurant and threw him in the bed of the truck. Random citizen reported a kidnapping and gave plate number. Other cops show up just to find out what happened. Groom’s uncle ended up having to stand in for the wasted groomsman, luckily the suit fit him perfectly. The shoes, however, did not. Uncle kept his black cowboy boots on while everyone else had super shiny shoes.

Bride’s mom did not win over the affections of her ex. She did also not ruin the wedding because groom’s mom and sister kept on top of things. Bride’s mom is still crazy as fuck.

18. Major oops

I was at a wedding last year with my boyfriend at the time. I didn’t really know anyone, so I hung out with him most of the time. The night before the wedding, we had the rehearsal dinner followed by the last night out for the groom (an unofficial bachelor party). Included was the groom, his twin brother, his father that recently came back into his life, boyfriend, myself, another girl with her boyfriend, and about five or six other guys.

We went to a hole in the wall bar in a really secluded town. It was probably their equivalent of a nightclub, but it was really just a bar with a dance floor and a few pool tables. Everyone proceeded to get drunk. Towards the end of the night, another drunk guy decided to fight the grooms brother. Groom wasn’t having it and jumped into the fight. Security guards came and grabbed everyone involved and kick them out. Groom, his brother, and the guy who they fought all get arrested. This is about twelve hours before the wedding.

They were released about three hours later with a drunk in public. A mass text was sent out to tell everyone not to tell the bride. A girlfriend of one of the guys there was in the wedding party, so we knew that the bride was going got find out. Everyone kept it to themselves anyway.

Fast forward to the wedding. The couple decided to write their own vows, and bride goes first. The groom starts to day his vows but didn’t write anything down as he was just going to wing it. Groom is being pretty predictable,” I know I can rely on you to watch b rated horror movies or humor me on my jokes” and “you’ve been there for me through so much “Suddenly: “you’ve been there when I was deathly ill, when I’m being a moody bastard, and when I was arrested the night before our wedding.”

Brides face drops. Groom speech skips a beat. He assumed she already knew from the bridesmaid, but she had no idea.

19. So are you telling me open bars are a bad idea?

The father of the bride’s speech was an hour long. It was a drunken, rambling, incoherent mess. Several times people tried taking the mic away or take him off, but he’d get right back up. Apparently he does this at every wedding, but this was the worst.

At another wedding the mother of the bride’s speech was: “So, we’ve been told to keep the speeches short. So I just want to say that {bride} is a little shit!” and stumbled back to her table.

20. Damn

The officiant at my wedding (who had known us for years) called my husband James during the ceremony. His name is Andy. My dad is James.

21. What even

When my friend got married, she was more than an hour late to the rehearsal because of traffic. Her husband was Catholic, and they were getting married in a Catholic Church, but the priest wasn’t happy because she had just converted and he didn’t think it was right.

So during the wedding he made the entire 20 minute homily about how the bride had been late to the rehearsal and it was a big inconvenience for him, and how it shows that she’s not a very dependable person…

Thankfully her new husband and his family were just as confused and pissed as she was.

22. Maybe that’s why

My husband’s aunt wore a silver sequined pantsuit to my outdoor wedding. She got smashed and started singing very, very loudly. There was no dance floor or karaoke or anything. We just had a stereo in the corner playing classical music.

She even stood in front of me at one point and sang (well, more like yelled lyrics on the top of her lungs) and when her husband tried to pull her away, she started screaming about how nobody pays attention to her anymore.

23. Why did no one kick her out

I was the best man at my best friend’s wedding last August. Overall, it went off smoothly, and to this day, by buddy has no idea about half of the stuff that I did to try to keep everything running smoothly… The highlight was definitely this one couple in the wedding, though…

One of the groomsmen was a dude that I didn’t know. Dude was obsessed with himself (his hair, his clothes, etc). This guy had recently acquired a new gf, and they were hopelessly “in love”, “perfect for each other”, and kept talking about how they were gonna get married “because they just knew it was right and would work out”. Kinda insulting to the bride and groom who had carefully dated, counseled, and planned, but w/e. My buddy saw fit to put this guy in the wedding. Not my show.

The real icing on the cake came when this guy suddenly insisted that his gf was going down to Lake Tahoe with the rest of the wedding party. It was a two day drive, space was at a premium, very small wedding, only family and super-close friends invited. Nonetheless, this guy brings it up, cool as can be, the day before we car-pool down and just acts like it’s a given that she is coming. I don’t know this guy, and, like I said, it’s my buddy’s show, so I let those in the know handle it. My buddy talks to him, the dude throws a tantrum and says (among other things) that my buddy isn’t really his friend if he won’t let this guy’s gf come. My buddy finds himself in a pinch, because there is supposed to be the same number of groomsmen as bridesmaids, and there’s no way he can find another groomsman on such short notice… So he relents and tells this guy that his gf can come…

This girl has to be the most selfish/arrogant person that I have ever met. We were down in Lake Tahoe for a week before the wedding… In that course of time, this girl (who is little more than a remote acquaintance) gets in multiple spats with the bride, tells people preparing for the wedding that they are doing everything wrong multiple times (stuff like, “oh, you’re folding the napkins all wrong! Do it this way!”), and single-handedly caused more work and problems than any other individual in the wedding party. I had several run-ins with her in which I inevitably told her that I was going to do it the way the bride and groom wanted it, and that ‘if she wanted to bitch about things, she should get her own damn wedding’. She took this opportunity to go around to everyone who would listen and tell them what an asshole I was.

The groomsmen that is attached to girl is no saint either. I repeatedly found myself being the only one around the groom that week. We spent hours and hours, day after day making table settings, folding brochures, preparing gifts, etc while this guy is off with his gf (usually following the bride and her bridesmaids around while they did other things). By a day or two before the wedding, both the groom and I were both pretty fed up.

Anyway, day of the dress rehearsal, I’m all dressed up in my suit, all of the bridesmaids are wearing matching pale purple dresses, and this girl shows up… She’s wearing a reddish purple tight-tight dress and way to much make-up. We’re confused at first, when she asks us where she needs to be, but, one horrifying revelation later, we realize that she fully intends to be in the wedding! Several last straws, raised voices, and a fair bit of drama later, she calls the bride a nasty name and flounces out of there. That night, she shows up to the celebratory dinner and acts like nothing happened. Her bf, btw, has continued to vanish off and on this entire time and will take no responsibility for this terror that he demanded we bring along.

The day of the wedding, four things stand out in my mind.

First, in the hours before the wedding, the groom is waiting in a room with a bad case of the nerves, and none of the other groomsmen are anywhere to be found… Found the first two fairly easily, but I’m pretty sure I don’t need to tell you where the last groomsman was… Yup, getting lipstick on his white shirt with the uninvited guest…

Second, the bride’s favorite was chocolate covered strawberries, and I, for one, was worried that they would be cleared out from the buffet table by the time the wedding ceremony was done, so I carefully selected about 10 picturesque specimens, put them on a plate and tucked them away in the fridge with a not saying ‘DO NOT TOUCH’ beforehand. Apparently, to this girl, that meant ‘EAT ME’ because I found her with the empty plate after the ceremony! The words exchanged were rude and unkind, but the gist of it was, she thought that I was stashing them away for myself, she had already decided that she hated my guts, and so she decided that she was just going to eat them all! I quickly checked the reception tables, and sure enough, they were all gone… Fortunately for me, they were made fresh and there was still some chocolate and strawberries in the kitchen. A little bit of culinary trial and error later, I got some relatively decent looking chocolate covered strawberries to the bride (and before the toast, too!)

Third, this girl briefly takes over the music during the dancing at the reception, turns off the preselected playlist of jazzy tunes, dance music, and love songs, plugs in her own i-pod, and starts blaring some hip-hop that seemed to be purely about sex (with the f-word very prominent)… To a variety of very conservation and/or elderly family members and their children.

Finally, this girl elbows her way in to the group of unmarried women during the bouquet toss and almost gives one of the bridesmaids a black eye when she snatches the bouquet… My one not of satisfaction in all this? The look of dismay on the groomsman’s face when she caught it, and her look of rage when he recoiled from the garter toss like it was a venomous serpent…

24. Now you know

I wore a white dress to a wedding once! :( In my defense, it was the first wedding I’d been to (over the age of like 7) and I didn’t know any better. You’d think my mom would have said something when I left the house, but I guess she didn’t notice. I didn’t even realize it was a fuax pas until a few years later. :(

It wasn’t completely white though… It had some black. Such shame!

25. Don’t be this person

Girl showing up uninvited and basically drunkenly talking shit about the bride’s family to anyone who’d listen.

26. That is truly a terrible wedding

Not my story, but a wedding photographer friend of mine went to a military wedding where the groom and groomsmen got super wasted and somehow wound up fighting with the mother-in-law, who got cut in the fight and started screaming and bleeding and spitting over everyone. Then somehow it came out that she was HIV positive. The paramedics had to come and take her and a bunch of people who thought they’d been exposed away. The groom eventually passed out behind the bar and the bride just cried and cried and cried. She apparently called her mother up the next day and asked to come home, and her mom told her something along the lines of “staying married is how you work your problems out.”

27. A huge bomb

During his toast to the happy couple the best man accidentally dropped the bombshell that the groom was not the father of the couple’s new baby.

The groom knew it wasn’t his kid (she was pregnant when they got together) but they were passing the kid off as his to their families.

28. I’m laughing uncontrollably at this

Father of the Bride makes a speech as dinner has just begun. He starts out well with how much he loves his daughter and how delighted he is about her new husband (my friend). Then he continues into a story about one time when the bride was a baby, she projectile shat onto his face.

Why. The fuck. Would her dad think that was okay to relate to family and friends at her wedding?

.sguHhgU@ :mih wolloF .golataC thguohT ta recudorP a si leahciM

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