1. What do you guys expect?
Driving past me and whistling/honking. What kind of response do you expect from me? Run after your car while yelling, “Wait, stop I want to have sex with you!”
2. All of you disgust me
Not all men obviously, but when I tell you I am married, please do not ask me if I have ever thought of cheating on my husband, or accuse me of lying. Seriously disgusts me how many people (men and women) do not respect a marriage.
3. Not with that attitude
Stop suggesting I get on birth control for you within a week of our first date…YOU, sir, will certainly not be cumming in me with that attitude.
4. Stop stop crying
Well I can’t generalize all men, but in my ideal world, men would stop telling other men that it’s not okay to show emotion or feel. Most men I know have been harmed by the perception that as men they can’t cry or grieve. Tears are human! Let them flow!
5. It means NO
Take “No” for a fucking answer. It shouldn’t take screaming, crying, and the intervention of a third party to get you to lay off.
6. Everyone, stop grouping everyone
Both men and women have this nasty habit of treating groups of people (women) as if they are all one person. As if they all share the same beliefs, the same values, and the same tastes in almost everything. Things like “women don’t know what they want” “all women are emotional” “women can’t do ____ because they are all ____” are what I’m talking about.
Treat a woman the same as you would treat a man. Get to know their individual likes and dislikes and try not to apply them to the whole fucking gender. Women are not a collective group with the same thoughts. Just like men we are all different. Some women like attention. Others don’t. Some women like body hair on a man. Some don’t even like men. Some women don’t like to talk a lot. Some women like one night stands. Some will stay pure until marriage. Some women will like you simply because of your personality. And some won’t. Just like men. Some like games. Some like science. Some don’t. Some have weird fetishes. Just like men. We are not a different species. We are all human.
7. It’s nothing personal, but…
Don’t take it personally if I’m a little on guard around you when we first meet, especially if you’re taller than 5 foot 6, and/or weigh more than 150. I’m smaller than that, and chances are, you could really hurt me if you wanted to, so I gotta scope it out first. Nothing personal.
8. Resting bitch face
I hate it when men tell me to smile. I have resting bitch face, I can’t help it. Just because I’m not smiling doesn’t mean I’m unhappy. Besides, nobody owes it to anyone else to smile. For all you know, my cat just got run over, or I’m sick, or just don’t feel like smiling. My female friends complain about the same thing sometimes, but I’ve never heard a man tell another man they should smile.
9. This is degrading
Laugh and call me cute when I start getting angry and passionate about a subject I’m talking about. It degrades my opinion and embarrasses me.
10. It’s NOT a COMPLIMENT
Please stop catcalling. It is very scary to be walking alone and have a man yell out of a car or the side of the street something sexual and usually assault like. “I want to grab your tits” “NICE RACK” “I’d fuck you sideways”. Those are all SCARY. Because every time it’s someone who could if they wanted to just do that and I couldn’t stop you. They are bigger than me. They are stronger than me. They could just do those things. Having it shoved in my face with it being yelled at me is terrifying.
Catcalls are why I joined a gym instead of going running outside. Catcalls are why I don’t like walking alone. Catcalls are scary.
Every time I hurry to where ever it is I’m going and depending on how graphic they were I have to take a moment to compose myself. Remember I got somewhere safe.
11. Just say, “That’s not cool.”
I would say… Stop letting other men get away with disrespectful behavior towards women. See some cat calling? That makes us ladies feel shitty. So men, call out other men on it – tell them its rude and gross behavior.
See some guy at a bar making a lady clearly uncomfortable? Does a friend of yours get super pissed off when a lady rejects him? Other men telling you about PUA techniques? Please goddamnit, please say something, because when women do those types of men don’t listen. Stick up for all of lady kind, please!
12. Ask first, touch later
Dancing near you is not an invitation for you to touch me without asking or to whisper sexual comments in my ear. If you want to dance with me, ask me. To my face, not from behind.
13. “Cock bouquet”
Sending dick pics. STOP sending me dickpics.. seriously. If I wanted to see it, I would have told you (I don’t).
14. If you have to remind people…well…
Pointing out that they are a “Gentleman” or a “Nice guy.”
So you’re a well mannered, normal member of society. What do you want, a fucking cookie? Good for you, join the other 5 billion functioning adults with manners.
The ones that usually point it out are the ones that are neither gentlemanly nor nice. Women that don’t notice that you are a nice person are not worth your time.
If you have to point it out, that generally means it is not seen in your normal actions, therefore you are NOT, in fact a nice, gentlemanly person. FYI.
15. “Maximum cringe”
The alpha/beta pseudo psychology.
16. Think about it
If you’re hitting on me and you know I’m lesbian, please fucking stop trying to get into my pants. No, your ~monster penis~ and ~experienced tongue~ cannot convert me to heterosexuality.
Similarly, would you like a gay guy trying to make your presumably straight ass try to have sex with you?
Viewing feminists as man-haters.
Feminists are not your enemies. We like you. We think you’re great. Our goals will benefit you We want to enjoy friendships with you that don’t end in neckbeards whinging that we won’t sleep with them. We want to sleep with as many of you as we choose without fear of being treated like dirt because of it. We want to get the same pay for the same job so that we don’t end up with an Austen-esque marriage market where you marry a man for his lifestyle rather than his soul. We want to acknowledge you as beings capable of thought instead of “Well, he couldn’t help himself if she went out dressed like that – no wonder she got raped!”
We don’t hate anyone. That’s why we’re campaigning for people to be equal instead of making such a fuss over what’s in people’s pants.
18. The “Friendzone”
Stop complaining about the friend zone, I have male friends who I am not interested in dating and they are ok with it. You should be too or move on from the friendship.
19. You’re scum if you do this
Posting nudes you received consensually. If a girl trusted you enough to send them to you, you are the scum of the earth for posting them anywhere. I don’t care how wrong she did you, that’s shitty. I’m glad that kinda thing has recently been made illegal in some states.
20. Old guys, stop being creepy
Older guys (40+), you don’t need to give younger girls way too long once-overs or hit on them to make yourselves feel like you can still get “it”. That may sound harsh, and I’m totally aware that this applies to a very small portion of guys, but it is so uncomfortable and violating for a younger girl.
Seriously. If you’re between 16-22 (or whatever) , you’re adjusting from being a kid to being a grown woman. It’s really upsetting when you’re 17 and a guy who’s older than your father is staring at you and making crude remarks. I’m all for embracing your sexuality and being body-positive, but sometimes a 17 year old girl doesn’t feel like having to grow up so fast and be seen as sexual object just because you want to stare/ try to pick her up. Maybe this is just my personal view, but when I was 16-17, I really had a hard time with no longer being considered innocent and being “up for grabs” for any older guy.
21. Stop the sleaziness
Ignore my references that I am not available for dating and stop the sleaziness. If I feel the need to bring up my SO 3 times in a conversation, I get the vibe that you want to fuck me and I don’t want that. As such do us all a favor and kindly get the hint and either drag the conversation back to less sleazy territory or zork off.
22. The rating system
Please, please don’t rate us using a number system. Do not say my face is a 7/10 or my chest is a 5/10. It makes us feel like shit, regardless of the number, and it makes the men who do this look like complete and total assholes.
23. Sexual abuse
Please report it if you’ve experienced any sort of sexual (or any type for that matter) abuse. Whether it is by a woman or a man, it does not make you any less “manly”.
24. Let her speak!
Cutting me off when I speak.
25. Again, say “That’s not cool.”
Ignoring sexist or demeaning comments towards women, in public or private, from your friends. Tolerating it makes it seem okay and you share that line of thinking.
26. Don’t say this to quiet girls
I am a quiet girl. I am fairly shy. I do NOT want you to tell me “Oh yeah. All the shy girls are freaks.”
I have been told that every single year of high school. I’m minding my own business. Mind yours.
And also, if you know a girl who is lesbian/bi, don’t ask if you can watch. I came out in high school and it never failed to have a guy come up to me and ask if he can watch me make out with random chicks.
27. This, remember this
Stop telling me that my experiences are invalid.
When I say I was cat-called, and it was offensive, quit telling me that I am being too sensitive.
When I get raped, quit telling me that it wasn’t “real rape”.
When I say no to a date, stop insisting that I don’t really mean no and that you know I want to say yes.
When I say a remark is offensive and objectifying, quit telling me that I just misunderstood and that I’m a feminazi whore.
Seriously. My experience is valid. I’m sick of being silenced on the internet just for having a vagina and then being told, “Men are the ones who really suffer.”
Fuck people who do that.