I get a lot of weird looks at the gym. Dammit gym people, I’m not there BECAUSE I look good. I go there because I WANT to look good
I went to a packed restaurant for a trivia night and had to sit on flimsy folding chairs so I practically sat in a squat all night so that the chair wouldn’t break.
I can never just flop down on furniture. I have to land delicately like a bird to see if it can support my weight.
I recently lost a lot of weight, and I can tell you the worst struggle for me was feeling trapped. I made a decision to lose weight so many times and failed so many times. I think gained more weight trying to lose it than I would have had I not tried. I would eat less than my peers at lunch and go run (for like 10 minutes) and when nothing happened immediately I got upset and ate to feel better. It took me so long to realize that I was eating because I was upset. It was always that I was going to eat pizza or a bag of chips one more time before I started my diet, a last hurrah of sorts before I finally buckled down. It was an awful cycle, and when it’s actually you you’re fighting against it seems impossible to change.