1. You should learn how to wink

“I love talking with you” would make me lose my mind. Best thing I can think of. I’d be walking on air for daaays.

If I am dressed formally, ‘stunning’ would be amazing.

If I am dressed casually, “you look really nice today” would be enough.

People tell me often enough that I’m smart and have pretty hair, but I didn’t work for those. To me, those things are everyday. Try to compliment your lady on something that she obviously put effort into. Ex: her outfit, an intricate hairstyle, a piece of artwork.

Also, a wink from someone I’m already interested in puts a violently happy pep in my step. Disclaimer: only do this if you know how to wink.

2. That’s an unexpected compliment

Had a professor yesterday ask me how old I was. I replied 21. He looked surprised and said, “You carry yourself with much more maturity than that.”

This was a prof I was uber-intimidated by, who is rumored to be an elitist misogynistic asshole. I was dreading going to his office hours. It didn’t exactly make me blush but I felt great for the rest of the day

3. Really?

First: be a very attractive guy, then say anything to me.

4. Works like, 14% of the time

“Ay yo bitch, dat pussy open 4 biz 2nite?”

5. So slick

From a stranger, best compliment was about how she enjoys seeing me when I’m at work: “You are always so happy and kind to people, it’s like a big breath of fresh air when I walk into the building and see you here!”

From my fiance: On our one-year anniversary, he was opening a bottle of wine he’d been saving for over 5 years for a ‘special occasion.’ He looked at me and said, “I don’t know why I’ve been saving it – I’ve had a reason to celebrate for 365 days now.”

6. But you’d have to follow up with that

“You are absolutely, astoundingly gorgeous and that’s the least interesting thing about you.” If a guy ever said something like this to me… it would be soooo on.

7. I told you, it’s the winking

In my experience, the most efficient compliment that always works is poking her in the thigh with my boner and winking.

8. You too can make someone’s day

I had a random guy in Memphis once stop me in the street to tell me I was the most gorgeous woman he’d ever seen. I blushed and mumbled ‘thanks’ and stammered like a dipshit, and he just smiled at me and kept on walking.

I was a little dressed up, but nothing spectacular, and sure hadn’t been fishing for compliments. But that really made my day, the more so because he didn’t follow it up by asking for my number or anything. Just that. Awesome. Thanks, random dude.

9. Note this

Smart girls want to be called pretty and pretty girls want to be called smart.

10. What about “beautiful”

I don’t think there is anything nicer than being called “gorgeous.” It just warms my heart, and it’s so much more kind than “you’re hot,” or even “pretty” for that matter.

11. Discreetly checking you out

Honest and unique compliments. As a girl, you get a lot of generic ones, such as, “You have really pretty eyes” etc. It’s nice to hear, but if you go to enough bars, you hear it a lot.

The first night I met my ex, we were casually talking outside a bar and he interrupted me to say, “You have a freckle on your neck. Did you know that? It’s rather cute.” I blushed right away. It was so unexpected and unique, yet showed he had been discreetly checking me out. I found it incredibly endearing.

12. This is touching

“You look just like your mom.”

My mom passed away when I was 9, so it’s the biggest compliment someone could give me.

13. Find out what they value

Don’t tell me I’m smart. I am smart, and most days I know it. On the other days, you’re poking at my already-inflamed insecurities. Plus, I’m really not sure whether you’re in a position to judge.

Don’t tell me I’m beautiful. I mean, I’ll probably like it. I’ll probably like any compliment. But whether I’m beautiful or not, my beauty is not the core of my identity. It’d be like telling someone they’re “punctual.” Sure, it’s positive, but… is that really the best trait you could think of?

If you really want a blush, compliment what I do and what I make. Tell me that it was kind and thoughtful to bring that little gift to a friend. Thank me for the thousand little things I do to keep our home a good place to live. Look at my art, read my stories, listen as I describe my code design. Tell me the portrait captures their personality. Tell me the story builds a fascinating world, that it’s beautifully written, that it taught you something (and be prepared for a long discussion). Tell me that the way I built my code was clever, especially if you can say most people don’t catch on to those tricks.

This example won’t work on everyone. More generally, figure out what she values about herself. Figure out what she thinks is important. Compliment that.

14. Will this work?

Your beauty is only trumped by your intelligence.

15. Compliments at the right time

Last week I was with my boyfriend, his family and our friends in his living room. I made a comment about how I couldn’t wait to get my makeup bag back after leaving it at a friends house for a week. He says, “You haven’t worn makeup all week? Damn, you are gorgeous!” I turned the brightest of red. I feel like the best compliments are simple but just said at the right times.

16. This will make someone’s day

To this day the best compliment I’ve ever been given was: “Damn, that confidence looks sexy on you.” Totally made my day, and I still think about it and it makes me smile.

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