It was the first year in college and I joined this club called the chocolate club and I had no idea what it was.
The first session, there were like eight people plus the leader, and the leader led us to a graveyard and told us to stand in a circle facing inwards. He then proceeded to hand us each a chocolate ball and told us that we had to hold it in a specific way with only our middle finger and a our thumb. He then mumbled some random words and then signaled us to eat it and so we did.
Never went back again.
I was in a Subway and this tall, lanky black man who was obviously on drugs dances through the doors yelling I’m the Cookie Monster repeatedly until the people behind the counter gave him a cookie. As he was walking out he throws his cookie at my head and gets about 2 feet away from my face and says “You gotta have a daily dose of cookies to be a Cookie Monster like me” and then danced out of the door.
I was paying off a bushel of parking tickets when I was approached by a man dressed in a 3 piece suit. He asked offered me $100 to be a witness for his wedding being that his best man wasn’t going to be able to make it. I said fuck yeah. Walk into the room and it was myself, a judge and 2 dudes. Was I surprised? Yes. I thought the best man was running late. Again, wrong. Watched 2 dudes get married. Didn’t bother me. Even Made money. Went to bar afterwards to celebrate with them. Coolest dudes I have ever met. Got another parking ticket. Still friends today.
I was in Rome walking down one of the main tourist streets – lots of high end fashion stores, mid July, lots of people and right in the middle of this street there’s a big scaffolding erected against the side of one of the stores.
As me and my family walk under the scaffold there’s a big crowd of people ahead of us so the pace is pretty slow.
Out of nothing the people ahead of us start coughing, nothing noticeable at first but then it’s louder and it’s spreading further back. My brother is a little bit ahead of me and he’s coughing too. I can suddenly feel dust or smoke or something obstructing my airway and I can barely breathe. The street looks fine, no building dust or smog or car exhausts but around 30 people are coughing like we’re in a burning building and pushing each other to get out onto the street.
The panic was huge, I couldn’t stop coughing and all I can think of is getting me and my family the hell out of there. People are shoving and shouting and I can feel the crowd swelling against my back.
And then we make it onto the street and it stops. All 30 or so of us just stood on the street coughing and spluttering and trying to catch our breath in the midday sun.
And that was it. After about a minute we all felt fine and everybody walked away in different directions. No lasting effects, nothing. There was probably a really simple explanation but it was one of the weirdest experiences I’ve had.
I was at a Mexican restaurant, and the table next to us order fajitas. When they brought the fajitas out, the entire table started coughing. A few seconds later I started coughing, and my wife thought I was making fun of the table next to us. Then she and the rest of our table proceeded to start coughing as well. Apparently there was something in the sizzling fajitas that made everyone cough uncontrollably. All survived and had a good laugh.
Didn’t happen to me but my girlfriend’s neighbor’s house went up in flames, but when the firetruck came, it never stopped. It drove straight through the house and completely destroyed everything. Brakes just didn’t work at the wrong time.
December 24th 2012 – Woke up at 3:30am and travelled 150 miles, met with 50+ strangers all dressed as Santa Claus and snuck past a live security team whilst entering the abandoned National Gas Turbine Establishment. Pyestock, UK. Took this group photo whilst stood on top of the test chamber for Rolls Royce Concorde Engines.
All in all, the strangest day of my life.
Car slams on its brakes on a busy 4 lane road. A woman jumps out and reaches into her back seat. Grabs what looks like a giant fake sunflower plant and swings it around her head. It seems like for a minute but perhaps it was only 30 seconds. She throws the sunflower back in and jumps back in the car and speeds off.
Me and four other people just stood there in disbelief at the entire sight. Just wtf.
While smoking on the balcony of my apartment, I was watching a cat staring into the night sky while sitting on a brick fence for a good 10 minutes. Then I watch as another cat appears out of nowhere walking towards the first cat and they proceed to have cat sex. It was really weird, as if they had planned to meet there or something. This literally happened 5 minutes ago.
I was at subway in Vancouver and I was enjoying my Cold Cut 6 inch sub when a homeless person came into the subway and decided that he wanted to jump on a table. He hopped onto one of the tables and started running and jumping from table to table while yelling about how the ground was lava. He was coming directly towards me at great speed. In a panic I got up and he stepped right on my 6 inch sub, slipped and fell onto the floor. He immediately sprung back up and started yelling “I’m on fire, help I’m on fire” while running in circles. The employee’s called the cops and he was arrested. On the positive side I had gotten through half my sub and they made me another one for free so I got to eat 1.5 6 inch subs for the price of one!
11. Damn youths
5th grade. I forgot the details because it was long ago and it was stupid kid drama, but basically my entire gym class hated my gym teachers. One day, some kid confronts one of the teachers, and actual fight breaks out between the two of them. The rest of the class just goes apeshit. Some join in on the fighting, so in the matter of seconds its a bunch of ~10-11 year olds fighting two screaming adult females, and the rest of class takes it outside to the playground.
Once outside, another group of students try to break some of the playing equipment, but everybody else for some unknown reason decided that marching around the perimeter of the playground while chanting was the best course of action.
I just chilled out on top of the jungle gym outside while this was happening since I didn’t want to get in trouble. So basically, inside the gym you have a group of students wailing on two teachers for some period of time, and outside a bunch of kids are marching in circles acting like they are doing some kind of freedom march.
Once the dust settled, every student was required to go to a counseling session….and that was the end of that. I don’t remember what happened to the teachers or the actual class after that.
This happened back in the 1999-2000 school year at Meadowcreek Elementary in GA if, by some giant coincidence, anybody who went there and sees this post can confirm.
I was on my way home from a night out in Barcelona and it was still regularly early for Barcelona standards, around 11pm. I was on the metro on the way back to my apartment and this group of really attractive Brazilian people wearing all white gets on. They’re in all types of outfits, pants and tank tops, sundresses with sandals, loose pants and tanks, etc. They all look amazing – really trendy in an effortless way. They were all taking pictures of each other.
Well, I was pretty tipsy, so I decided to photobomb them. I was like 10 feet back and doing jazz hands and making dumb faces. They noticed and warmly welcomed me into their pictures, putting their arms around me and introducing themselves to me. I posed with them on the metro, but I figured they were going to get off at a different stop than me. They ended up getting off at my stop, and so when I got up, we took even more group pictures and they put me at the center. Keep in mind, they were speaking Portuguese and I only knew Spanish and English, but they were so warm and welcoming of this slightly drunk stranger.
I was ready to say goodnight to them, figuring they had plans and I wouldn’t come along. But no… I was invited to wherever they were headed. I figured “yolo” and went along. They were headed to this AMAZING salsa club in this totally quiet residential neighborhood. You would’ve never known there was this club inside with live music and hordes of beautiful people dancing on the inside. No long lines, no booming music outside. I went in with them and they all paired off to dance… Not like grinding provocatively, but actually salsa dancing, sure their hands were on each others’ hips and there was some closeness, but it was because of the passion between the two people dancing, not because they were gettin’ freaky.
I was paired off with this beautiful man named Jofre. He taught me white girl self how to dance, and led me through the steps while holding me in a traditional way, but I didn’t feel like he was trying to cop a feel – he was genuinely teaching me how to dance as was traditional and as he knew. It was sensual without being gross. He bought me mojitos and we didn’t really talk, just danced. He led, I followed.
Anyone else would’ve looked like a douche in the outfit he was wearing, but he was just so suave; a loose white short sleeve cotton button down, a white newsboy hat, well-cut white pants with strings for adjusting their tightness. He was so passionate and we were surrounded by all his passionate all-white friends, dancing to this amazing live salsa music. I said goodbye to him about 2 hours in and he gave me his number so we could do it again.
We never did meet up again, which bummed me out real hard. The phone I gave him the number to got stolen briefly after so I couldn’t communicate with him. I tried to talk my friends into going to the club with me, in hopes we might meet up with my Brazilian friends. Alas, that never happened. So I hold the memory of that night dear, surrounded by my all-white clad Brazilian dance troupe at that mysterious salsa club in Barcelona. I hope they look at those pictures of them with that white girl they met on the metro and smile.
I was hanging outside of my apartment with my buddy while he was smoking and my neighbor comes out eating a peach. He was looking over his garden and complaining about the squirrels eating his tomatoes, when he spots a furry devil sitting on a fence about 15 yards away. As he finishes his peach he chucks the pit at the squirrel and freakin nails the sucker right on the noggin. The squirrel has a sort of seizure or stroke and falls off the fence and dies instantly. The best part is my neighbor’s girlfriend was watching from inside and as soon as the squirrel hits the ground she comes flying out of the apartment screaming, yelling, and smacking him for “murdering the poor thing”. You can tell he was visibly shaken and in shock that he hit the squirrel let alone killed it. I have never laughed that hard in my life.
Sitting in a school cafeteria during lunch, one of the seniors starts clapping for his friend, their table joins, so does the next table. In ten seconds, the entire lunch room of about three hundred people is clapping and cheering in a huge roar for a reason nobody can explain. Then in unison, the entire room just stopped, there was a moment of silence, then everybody burst into laughter. The principal, who was having a conversation during the clapping, looked up in utter confusion when the entire lunchroom laughed at once.
15. Best party ever
My friend invited me to a party once. It was a party being held by some social network site (can’t remember the name of it) only certain members got invited, mainly people who had help contribute to the site and a big part of the community. They each received odd packages filled with items such as marshmallows and other things, and a personalised invitation. Also, each member could bring one guest. I was a guest.
Wetl travelled down to some warehouse in the middle of London and there is a massive queue, and being handed drinks by people who seemed to “work” there.
Anyway, once I get inside I can only describe this as the strangest, most absurd party I have ever been to. And it was awesome.
At the entrance a dwarf leads you through a large *wardrobe of coats” (so you can’t see shit) and you eventually enter a jungle with a massive tree with a treehouse in the middle. Several free bars, you just had to jump on for a bit and help serve people. A hot tub, and random caravans. Walk through and we found several different rooms, such as a cinema, slaughter house, granny flat, the “white room” ( a room fully padded out and filled with huge white cushions) and loads more I can’t remember.
I met some interesting people, got drunk, had a nap in treehouse and woke up with another guy I had met early curled up next to me, and the rest of the room chatting while 2 girls get it on in the middle.
We left at about 11 in the morning, as did many others about that time, but apparently the party went on for another couple days.
It was surreal, but incredible at the same time.
16. An exorcism?
Well my friends are religious and really into a lot of the Pentecostal groups. So there was one girl who was feeling ill. Not sick but like she was off-balanced. We figured it was because of the crowds making her overwhelmed, so a couple people helped her upstairs and got her some water.
Well she was still feeling weird so some of the people asked if they could pray for her. She said yes, but when they started, she started freaking out. Yelling things about saying she was worthless and going into third person. The best way to put it would be like someone having a psychotic break but not sustained, more like she would start talking about how worthless she was, we would deny that and keep praying and it would escalate.
Eventually, she started to thrash, so for her safety and ours, we had two big guys hold her down which was crazy because she was a small girl and two wrestlers were having trouble holding her down.
Finally, we were able to talk to her and somehow get her to the point where she stopped going on about how worthless she was and she calmed down. Afterwards, we made sure she was hydrated cause this took like 2 hours. Then we sang some songs and prayed together. Strangely to my knowledge, this was the only situation that occurred for her.
17. A flying machine
I was a junior in high school. I was walking with a friend to our fourth period class, when we noticed that the campus was littered with flyers. Which is slightly unusual, sure, but nothing too weird, right? It wasn’t until a flyer smacked me in the face that we realized that they were falling from the sky. We looked up and, lo and behold, there’s a… flying… contraption… thing. Like a lawn chair strapped to a fan with a paragliding sail.
And astride it, circling above our campus, was a man, screaming about the apocalypse and the Matrix and abortion. Every few seconds he could reach into his backpack, grab a handful of flyers, and toss them down at the students now congregating in confusion. But the fourth or fifth time we watched him reach for his flyers, his hand went a little too far and caught on the large fan that was attached to the back of his DIY flying machine. Instantly we see a burst of red as his fingers are sliced off by the blades. He starts screaming and loses control of the machine, violently jerking back and forth until he flies directly into the chain link fence of the football field. Teachers began to usher students into class under threat of expulsion, and police showed up a few minutes later. The football team had to fan out shoulder-to-shoulder later that day to try to find the dude’s severed fingers.
Turns out crazy guy was a student’s father. She never talked about it, and I haven’t seen her since I graduated almost a decade ago. Still feel bad for her.
I go to anime conventions, but since there aren’t many long haired, bearded anime characters, I cosplay as Jesus. Someone who’s never been to a con might be kind of surprised at how many black people go too. Maybe I was just prejudiced, but I was expecting all white people. Anyway, one time a whole huge family of black people (ten to fifteen people) ran up and crowded around me and all started singing church songs while clapping, dancing, stomping, shouting amen, and generally acting like they were feeling the holy spirit inside them. I’ve never been so confused about how to react in my life, eventually I just collapsed laughing.
I was riding the DART (Dallas public transportation) train back home from work when I was 17; my first job, working at a Boston Market my third-uncle managed.
Anyway, it’s about 10:30 at night and in my car, there are some odd characters: business guy, with a coat folded over his briefcase in his lap; obvious gangbanger guy, tattoos, big hoodie, slouched in corner; moderately hygienic homeless guy, two jackets, really messed up shoes, crazy hair, but perfect white teeth, can’t stop laughing to himself every few minutes; and white skater kids, some with boards, others with roller blades, one with BMX bike. I sat near the white kids.
Suddenly, there’s commotion at the front of the train (we’re in the far back); everyone peers down the aisle to see what’s going on: some tall, gangly black guy is running down the aisle, throwing haymakers seemingly at random every few seats. He’s rapidly approaching our section. Now that’s weird, but what happens next is the icing on this crazy-cake.
Moderately hygienic homeless guy fumbles around his jackets and retrieves not one, but two switchblades, snikts those fuckers out like Wolverine.
Obvious gangbanger guy rears up to his full height, unfolding to something like 6’6″, reaches into the front pocket of his hoodie, and suddenly the outline of a gun is clearly pressing.
Me and the white kids, we just turtle up in the corner, barricaded behind a phalanx of boards.
But business guy…he just gives a tired sigh, moves his coat to the seat next to him–this dude’s briefcase is handcuffed to his wrist. He unlocks it, opens it, reaches in and just rests his free hand inside.
Psycho haymaker guy makes it to our section, stands bewildered for about 3 seconds, frantically taking in this situation, then turns around and runs right back where he came from, punches another couple of people, then gets off the train.
I started carrying a knife after that.
I was driving down the highway, just minding my own business. All of the sudden I see a car standing on the emergency lane.
The driver, a woman in her 40s or 50s, is standing behind the barrier, passionately playing an accordion and singing.
There was no traffic jam or anything, guess she just suddenly felt like she wanted to make some music. On the highway. Alone.
I was in South Africa and planned to go out with a bunch of friends for someone’s birthday. When we got to the restaurant, they told us there was a wait of like 20 minutes, but since the place was really small and we were a large group they told us to go wait in the bar next door. Sure, no problem, we’ll grab a drink and then head over.
So we go to the next door over and immediately think there must have been a mistake. The door seems to lead to nothing but a long, dark, narrow alley with a massive set of stairs at the end. No way the bar’s up there. We go back and double-check, but the hostess insists, yep, the bar’s up those stairs.
So we head over and start climbing. The stairs are extremely steep and very narrow, and there’s mysterious water dripping down the sides of the alley. We’re all getting a pretty weird vibe, but we continue on anyways. Eventually the stairs come up to a short hallway, and at the end of it is a door which looks like it leads to someone’s house. It’s the only way out of the hallway, though, so we open it and walk in.
It was the most surreal experience of my life. It was like walking into a ritual worship of Britney Spears. There was a DJ at the front projecting the music video to “Hit Me Baby One More Time” onto the wall for a crowd of people all dancing along like it was 1999. The room was probably 85% male and many of them had Britney Spears MASKS on their faces so we didn’t even know what people really looked like. After a few solid minutes of gaping in shock, my friends and I turned and hightailed it out of there.
The weird thing was a few people arrived late to the restaurant, so obviously we shared the story and promised we’d take them up afterwards. So when the meal ended we climbed the long, narrow stairs again, and walked into–nothing. It was a completely regular bar. No traces of Britney anywhere.
Probably not the strangest thing I ever did, but years ago I was part of the Bainbridge Island Pirate Attack. Local singer Jason Webley asked his fans to all dress like pirates and board a specific ferry boat to Bainbridge Island. Turnout was a bit bigger than expected, with a few hundred participants on the boat. We sang sea shanties, screamed obscenities at passing boats, and marched to a public park once we got to the island. This was back in 2002 or so, before flash mobs and pirates were cliche.
About twelve years ago, I was friends with a girl who worked in a professional dungeon, (like a brothel, but for bdsm instead of sex.)
I was visiting her one day between sessions, and she got called to work early. I stuck around in the break room, and after about 20 minutes, the owner walked in and asked if I could help them out. Seems my friend’s client wanted an audience.
I’m a pretty big kinkster myself, so I said sure. Walked in to one if the lounge areas with said owner, and plonked down in a chair.
Down the stairs comes my friend, who’s grinning ear to ear, followed by her client. He was about 40, short, dressed in a blue satin dress with white lace and massive petticoats, with a crinkly nappy on underneath, and was wearing a curly haired wig with a large bow.. At my friend’s urging, he proceeded to do a little dance routine while singing “The Good Ship Lollipop.”
Afterwards we applauded and congratulated him on a wonderful show.
I can never hear that song now without remembering that day.
24. Badass auntie
Not me, but my great aunt who is Basque. During the 60s, she was a flight attendant and didn’t put up with anyone’s crap. One day, they were flying from Australia to some other country that she couldn’t remember, when two guys go into the cockpit and attempt to apprehend the plane. They say over the loudspeaker that their course will change to another such and such country. My aunt, being the woman in her ’40’s slightly menopausal, will have none of that. She went into the cockpit, hit both of them with a fire extinguisher and untied the pilot and co-pilot. All because she didn’t want to go to that part of the world.
While walking my dog through a school on a weekend, I looked up to see a woman riding a guy, full on pussy out, dick sliding in an out. It was such an ugly dick, short and started out thick but taper off towards the end… I was 15, freaked out a bit but watched them while I walked past them. At first the guy stopped moving and went to dismount the lady, but she made this bucking motion as if to say, ‘keep going, pound my pussy with the large, wing-like lips with your strange gnomish dick’, so he kept going. The woman, who looked like a junkie, watched me the entire time, eyes looking into my eyes.
Last year I went to the music festival “TomorrowWorld” down in Atlanta. I remember very clearly at one point while I was packed in a crowd of 30,000+ people high as a kite on some amazing drugs with a group of Mexicans to my left and a group of Swedes to my right while I aggressively smashed my frontside on some girls backside that I had just met and we were all screaming and dancing to music so loud my ears are still ringing, bass punching us in the teeth, smiling and jumping up and down and sweating and at that point I took a step back and realized how fucking weird the human race is.