Just spend some time with me. It tears me up that my kids don’t think of me as a friend and barely even talk to me. My son just comes home from school and goes straight to his room, my daughter comes home from school and barely talks to me and just sits there texting. I want to be a part of their lives but they just shut me out. For mother’s day I’d just like them to open up to me a little and spend some time with me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a horrible parent or what, I don’t know what went wrong.
To my high school/college age step kids. Just acknowledge me. I don’t want any gifts or flowers. I know my place. I know I’m not your mom. I just want your time and I want you to talk to me and be kind to me. I want you to show me that even though I have only been married to your dad for 7 years, that you appreciate me. I’m the one that reminds your dad it’s your birthday. I’m the one that reminds your dad to call you. I’m the one that says, “let’s give Jennifer/Will $50 before they go back home, even though we pay $1000/month in child support and all other expenses for Will, and expenses for Jennifer even though she is now a college graduate and makes more money than I do. I don’t just contribute money. I contribute moral support and love. I worry about you like my own children. Just hug me and kiss me on the cheek and say thank you.
3. One can hope
My daughter is a 12 year old smart ass. I would like one day without her sassing back at me. That is all.
Mom here…two kids, 5 & 7…husband. Here is a list…very specific because you asked. Bottom line is that we want YOU to think about US and what we like to do.
- Some time alone. Take the kids out of the house and let me just relax. Don’t ask me where to take them/what to feed them/what they should wear…just.go.
- I garden. I would love some nice gardening gloves, a gift card for a great garden center. What are her hobbies? Accessorize her hobby.
- A picnic somewhere beautiful. Pack a cooler/backpack with good cheese and crackers, good wine and chocolate and lunches for the kids…throw in a blanket and a little vase and pick me a flower along the way.
- Write me a letter telling me what you love about me and why you think I’m a good mother.
- Cook me dinner – try to remember what I like/don’t like. Shop and clean up yourself. It’s not a present when I have to clean it all up the next day.
- I miss my friends…arrange a girls night for me, find and book a babysitter, make reservations, make sure my friends are free.
- Don’t say stuff like, “it’s a made up holiday…” unless you are thoughtful and do stuff for me all year.
- Send MY mom and YOUR mom some flowers.
TL/DR: Be thoughtful
5. Aw hell yeah
I collect the cards my daughter has given me over the years. I want another card, and to be left alone for a few hours to brew and drink beer. If anyone is in Eastern Massachusetts, Stone Zoo is free for moms on Mother’s Day. I’ll be the drunk one flipping off the monkeys.
I have a 20 yr old in college, and he has no money. So a lovely card with a handwritten note saying he appreciates me, and listing some reasons why would be all I want. And maybe cook me breakfast.
What’s better than that?
Not a mom, but I am certain the answer is a shitty drawing and a macaroni necklace. It has to be, I’ve been getting my mom that for 35 years and she always says how it’s the only thing she wanted.
My kids are now 21 and 23. I ask for the same thing every year. Don’t argue, clean the house without being asked, and make me breakfast. Still waiting to get that gift.
A professional massage. I’ve been so stressed chasing after the kids, it would be really helpful. Also, a nice meal with my family… Thai or Vietnamese would be perfect.
10. Wait, what?
My SO will be receiving a massage, time off from having to watch the kid (I’m gonna play video games with him), a stiff drink, and copious amounts of oral sex. Maybe I’ll get the child to help me make her breakfast in bed too.
This is what I do – but then my mom is Captain Awesome incarnate and I try to put a bit of special effort in – (Me and my brothers, 6 of us, organize this together):
- Breakfast in bed.
- No responsibilities that day. Everybody handles their own shit. If they can’t, come to me.
- Big bag of stuff she likes. Viennese truffles, fresh flowers for her room (she really likes flowers), big ass bottle of malibu. Etc.
- Favorite takeout for dinner.
- We all get her something for her garden too. And we all pitch in for a few hours.
A long, uninterrupted nap and to piss in peace.
13. Not one, but TWO
My mom’s birthday is on Mother’s Day. This year, I got her two autographed cookbooks by Ina Garten.
For the last several years, my daughter and I developed sort of a tradition. We’d wake up, she’d make breakfast, then we’d drive to Encinitas, picking up strawberries along the way to Quail Botanical Gardens, where we’d spend a few hours just wandering around and enjoying the chocolate (they do a small chocolate festival there on Mother’s Day), and the plants, and the various gardens. Then we would head home and have dinner and watch a movie. Simple, but so lovely. Unfortunately, my transmission went out on my car so we’ll have to forgo that tradition this year, but she’s already planning her alternative.
Other than that, what I want more than anything is for my daughter and I to be able to go out to Minnesota to see my mom, whom we both miss a great deal!
56-year-old mother of four here. When they were little (I had four within five years – yes, including twins) I wanted time alone without them on that ONE day per year. There were years when I couldn’t even pee alone. Now that they’re adults, I want all four of them together at home with us whenever possible. Perspective is a strange and wonderful thing.
For adult children, I got this advice from my own momma:
- Tell her: “Hey mom, I was thinking about the time when you __________. That was a really great memory and I really appreciate that you did that for me. Thank you. I love you.”
- Don’t forget the thank you I love you part.
- If you can afford a gift then either listen to her and buy her exactly what she asks for, or try your hardest based on things you know she likes.
- Bare minimum, buy her something. One year I only had the budget to get my mom a Snickers bar. But even that is better than nothing!
I have 2 teenage stepsons and an infant.
For Mother’s Day, I’d really like my kids to show in their own little way that they think of me as an individual that loves them instead of a maid/chauffeur/chef/babysitter.
I’d like a day off from cooking/cleaning/taxi service.
I’d like a meal centered on things that I like to eat instead of a meal centered on avoiding the foods that my kids turn their nose up at. I love mushrooms and haven’t cooked any in the last 5 years.
I’d like to have some time where we sit down and enjoy each other’s company. We can do this at meal time, as long as there’s no name calling, intimidating, or condescending remarks between the teenage boys. Or a board/card game. Or just sitting on the couch chatting. Or a trip to the park.
I’d love a thoughtful gift. This could be a letter, a hand made something, or something store bought. I’d like something tangible to keep as a touchstone to remind myself of the mutual love that is the foundation of our relationship during the weeks/months when it feels like the only conversation my kids want to have with me is “What’s for dinner?”
My son wrote me a letter that talked about some of our funny memories together, some of our difficult times and how we made them through them and why he thought I was an awesome Mom. It cost him zero dollars, but it was so thoughtful I know he put some time into it. (If you do this one don’t rush it or she’ll know. We always know.) He said he enjoyed writing it because of the walk down memory lane as he was writing.
An SO could also do this as could younger kids with some help.
I just want silence. No kid, no hubby, no dog, no phone, no computer, no homework, no work. Just me, a steaming cup of coffee, a blanket, and a new book to read. Then I want to read it. All day. No interruptions or needs. I just want to not be needed for a day.
I really, really, really want my husband to watch Sharktopus with me and buy me some liquor so I can drink heavily, then not make fun of me for having a hangover the next day.
Mother’s Day is no longer about celebrating me…. It’s now about celebrating how lucky I am to be a Mom. How much I love my sons and what a joy it is to have them in my life.
All I want for mother’s day is to spend time with my children. There are too many mothers who don’t get that simple pleasure any more.
My mom cut out several years ago and shes long given up trying to have a relationship with me. Being the only girl out of 6 children, my dad didn’t really know what to do with me at the time, a brass 14 year old with a short temper. But he sat there through every dramatic break up, hair-brained scheme, and vain attempt at normality I’ve endured.
I always call my dad on Mother’s Day to thank him for being the best mom he could be for me. I often take 20 mins out of my day and reflect on our time together, trade a few jokes, or share a teary eyed remark. While he still may not fully understand the inner workings of my brain, he certainly tries. He helped pick out my prom dress, offers dating advice, and never judges me for bad decisions.
Acknowledge your “mom” on Mother’s Day. Doesn’t matter how poor your are, you can still afford a heartfelt conversation with that person.
A new pair of slippers. I like starting winter with a fresh pair. And some one else to make dinner. Oh, and hand made cards! Always so corny, but I keep them all.
I think Mothers Day should be about getting something practical that I wouldn’t really bother getting myself.
Breakfast in bed and a nice card. Or if you don’t live at home some flowers and a nice card.
25. Wait, mom?
Last year my sons and husband took me out to breakfast on Saturday, but they couldn’t decide where to eat and we just kept driving then ate about an hour out of town. Afterward, they wanted to keep driving a little further in the country. We ended up at our favorite vacation spot for the weekend. They had planned it all and even packed for me. It was a great surprise, This year I’m hoping for Hawaii.
To adult children, take me to the kitchen and sit me down, pour a margarita for me, and you fix dinner while we visit. I don’t care what you fix for the meal, it can be your favorite, but a coconut pie at dessert would be nice. Love, Mom.