22 Unforgiving, Vulgar Pickup Lines As Told By People Of The Internet

I’m going to be upfront with you guys — all of these are awful. I really hope you don’t try these. I also really hope you don’t get personally offended — after all, they’re not directed at you. Read more here on this Reddit thread.
image - Flickr / Stuart Crawford
image – Flickr / Stuart Crawford

1. Oh man this one is bad

“Are you a single mom?”


“Would you like to be?”

2. Oh this one is worse

I run faster horny than you do afraid.

3. God, that comic was bad

You make eye contact from across the bar and give her the “come here” motion with your index finger. When she comes over, tell her, “If I could get you to come with one finger, imagine what I can do with all ten.”

4. I’m shaking my head right now

After staring at the girl’s crotch until she asks you what the fuck you’re doing:

“Are you going to eat that?”

5. Oh my God this is terrible

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

6. Robin Williams said this

Sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight.

7. Oh my goodness

I see you like fitness, how about fitness dick in your mouth?

8. Okay, this one is funny

“Hey girl, you dropped something.”


“Your standards.

9. Why are you guys even reading this

I’m no weather man, but I can tell you you’re in for more than a few inches tonight.

10. This is the worst pickup line ever

Damn girl, you shit with that ass?

11. Jesus, this one is bad

Do you live on a chicken farm? ‘Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.

12. This one is bad too

I wish you were my big toe…

…So I could bang you on my coffee table.

13. Shakin’ my head

Hey girl, you ever had your belly button tickled from the inside?

14. Jesus. Christ. Wow.

“Is your dad in jail?”

“No, why?”

“Really? I’d be in jail if I was your father…”

15. What the hell

Hey girl, you wanna go halfsies on a baby?

16. Try this one

Nice shoes, want to fuck?

17. Sounded like a Rick Roll, but you know

Baby, are you feeling down ’cause I can feel you up.

18. What is wrong with you

Walk up behind a woman sitting at the bar and ask her:

“Can I push in your stool?”

19. This one is worse

Show me your genitals.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqXi8WmQ_WM&w=584&h=390%5D

20. God this one sucks

How would you like your eggs? Fried, scrambled or fertilized?

21. Ugh, every time

Yeah…you like that, you fucking retard?”

22. Uhhh…

I hope you like peppers because I’m going to be jalapeño ass tonight girl. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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