27 Moms Reveal The Worst Date Their Children Brought Home

Moms can sense if your date is worth it or not. And you know, they’re professional naggers. I mean, we love them to death. Moms have so much advice and words of wisdom that they’re your own life guides. Listen to them – moms know best. Check out this Reddit thread for more.
Shutterstock
Shutterstock

1. He basically pwned her

When I was 18, my girlfriend was a 23-year-old stripper, didn’t think my parents needed to know that part though. When we split up, she got her mates to damage my car, so I went to the most expensive panel beater in town for a quote which came to about $6k and took them to court for damages. Took the car to the cheapest place for repairs since it was only minor damage, and the repair costs came to just over $500.

2. Lesson here: Don’t stick hang out with crazies

Came over to hang out on Fourth of July. Within about half an hour, I walked into his room (door open, by the way), and she was straddling him. He looked confused and overwhelmed, pants at his knees. She jumped up, pulled her shorts on, and went to our front porch to call HER BOYFRIEND to tell him how much she loved him.

After she left and I finished ripping my son a new asshole, calm descended and he explained that they had been watching TV, and she pulled his pants down and jumped on him. “What was I going to do, say no? But it was creepy and gross, I didn’t even like her that way. I feel disgusting.”

It was a pretty bad day all around.

Bonus: When he blew her off after, she told him she was pregnant. This was a week later. She wasn’t. He did learn a valuable lesson though.

3. She was the girlfriend at the time

I was the most hated GF of my HS sweetheart. I posted this story on a similar thread yesterday but it works here too, so sorry if you already read it.

I have a similar story. My math tutor and teacher in 9th grade was my first boyfriends mom. I was already getting tutored by her when I met her son. I took his virginity (he took mine as well, we were 15) and he decides to tell her this info as her and I sit down to do maths together for the next half hour.

She was super christian and hated me after that. I failed math that year but continued to fuck her son in an effort to get even.

4. MOM, WHY DON’T YOU KNOCK?

My mother thought that my first girlfriend was the Devils incarnate. Before I begin you need to know some information about my mom. My mom is Catholic, she’s been going to church every Sunday since she was five. She believes that a man and a woman shouldn’t have sex until after marriage.

Me and my high school girlfriend were hanging out after school at my house as usual. Things started getting hot and heavy and we started making out, clothes were coming off and at the time I finally thought I was going to lose my virginity. I had been with this girl for three years and I had never gotten a blowjob or had sex with her. I had seen her naked and fondled her breasts but that’s as far as we had gone. Mid make out my girlfriend just stops and asks me if I wanted a blowjob. Obviously I said yes. I was finally getting my dick sucked and it felt great. I was loving every moment of it until my mom walked in.

Instead of knocking on my room door like she usually did before entering she just opened the door. I don’t know what a mothers reaction should be in this type of situation but she started yelling at my girlfriend. When I say yelling I mean I heard her say words that I never heard her say before. She called my girlfriend a whore and said that god would damn us both to hell for our act of sin. My girlfriend at this point is in tears and she’s scrambling to get on her clothes and pretty sure she left my house without her bra because she was in such a panic. My mom didn’t speak to me for a month after that. She didn’t ask me how my day was at school, she didn’t speak to me during dinner and she didn’t even ask me to go to church on Sunday with her anymore. She used to go every Sunday but I always said no. That’s the angriest I have ever seen my mom and we have never spoken about it. When she finally did talk to me she said if I wanted her to ever speak with me again that I had to go to confession and confess my sins. I told her I would go but I ended up going to a Denny’s and ordering their Lumberjack grand slam instead. She thinks I went to confession though. Also every time my girlfriend came over after the incident my mom would leave the house. I don’t know where she went but she couldn’t be in the same vicinity as her.

5. Mothers can be so protective…

My mother’s mother’s side of the family is a German / Guatemalan. They all speak Spanish, and grew up between Guatemala and the US, very Catholic. VERY Catholic. She’s been a family lawyer for some 20 years. Black belt, tough as nails, and angrier than a thrice poked honeybadger.

Whenever I brought home any girl from 14-18, didn’t matter if it was a friend, a lay, a school project partner… she would always start off any conversation faux-whispering VERY loudly “Who is this little whore?” in Spanish to me.

This was in Florida. Most of them spoke Spanish.

Then around 18, she stopped my girlfriend in the hall and asked her, “How can you love my son? He’s so cold…” completely unprovoked.

Yeah, I’m estranged from the maternal side of the family.

6. Are you serious?

My son brought home a neo-nazi. They were hanging out in our living room, and she was wearing a white supremacist shirt. My son is only half white, his dad is hispanic.

She eventually found out my son isn’t white, and broke up with him.

Upon explaining to him why my husband didn’t like my son’s new girlfriend: “I thought dad would like her because he’s interested in Nazis.”

You idiot, your dad doesn’t have a swastika shirt that says “White pride world wide” on it.

Also, she liked the Chicago Blackhawks, this is a Detroit Red Wing family!

7. She’s the awful one

I think I’m the hated girlfriend. My boyfriend’s mother called me a prostitute for wearing low cut tops when I was 17. I’m now 24 and still with her son. She also says I’m posh and stuck up. I’m not. She just doesn’t answer when spoken to, so naturally I then proceed to shut the fuck up.

Also I don’t know how I can be too stuck up and also a hooker.

8. Boys can be so desperate

Well, I’m the sister, but the girl my one brother brought home was INSANE.

First off, she was very abusive, verbally and physically. The physical was never taken too far because my brother was so much larger than her, but I could tell it was really embarrassing for him. She was also very jealous of any female who would talk to my brother, including me. She even accused me of trying to seduce him away from her.

Her behavior got creepier over time, showing up at our house uninvited expecting to stay the night, which my parents were not okay with. Finally my brother wised up and dumped her, and she went berserk. She called so much we had to block her number. She would come to our house and sit on the porch until we threatened to call the police. She and my brother worked at a school together and she forces the school to go into lockdown when she texted my brother telling him she had locked herself in a bathroom and was about to kill herself. That was the last straw though, and my brother and the police had a nice talk about leaving him the hell alone.

Oh, and she also had bedbugs the whole time we had let her stay at our house. So we had fun little reminders for a few months before we finally got rid of them.

9. She knew, but she didn’t want to say anything

My mother flew out to visit me last week and I brought up my ex-wife to break up our awkward GPS talk.

“So did you finally tell the family I’m divorced? It’s been two years now…”

“Yes.”

“So were they surprised?”

“No. We all knew it wouldn’t last.”

“Well, why didn’t you say anything? You could have saved me from wasting four years of my life and tens of thousands of dollars worth of alimony.”

According to my mom, it was quite obvious from the start we didn’t have much in common or really even like one another. But she felt it wouldn’t be right to butt into my personal life.

10. Wait, what?

Not me, and I’m not sure if this counts, but anyway:

My sister’s son once brought home his twin sister. And by “brought home” I mean, “invited his twin sister into his room so they could make out.”

Then, after promising their parents they would stop fooling around, my nephew tells my sister that he’s going to invite his girlfriend to dinner. Turns out his “girlfriend” was just some girl he paid to pretend to be his girlfriend. The girl didn’t even know my nephew’s last name. After their cover was blown, the girl had the balls nerve to ask my nephew, at the dinner table “I still get paid, right?”

11. This is so terrible

My oldest son had a girlfriend that was crazy. They were both doing drugs, but she would get so messed up that she pissed the bed and made him clean up after her. She was bi & constantly throwing some girl or another in his face. Some time after they broke up, she took off for a few days, who knows where. Her parents had the cops looking for her, and when she came back to her parents house she claimed he had kidnapped her to get the cops off her back. He had been spending time with friends and the first he heard about this was when he was pulled over and face down on the pavement with a gun in his face.

Fortunately his friends spoke up and the girl finally admitted she made it up.

12. That girl sounds like she’s got some problems

My son is only two but he has made kissy noises about some preschool chick named Margaret. I am not impressed. Her pigtails are lopsided. She still uses a pacifier. He can do better.

13. Boy, what is wrong with you

I’m somewhat a mother figure to my seven-year-old godson (I look after him during the day) and even though he’s only in first grade, he brings “girlfriends” over from class a lot. Some of them are real winners. Like the one who decided to break out paint and create a huge mural on the wall when she came over (and, like a lot of others enjoy doing, she mixed all the colours together to make a really nasty brown that turned it into a shit mural) or the one who decided it would be acceptable to take a shit on his little sister as she slept because the sister wouldn’t let the other girl play with her Barbies, or the one who straight up punched my godson in the face while playing house. Her reasoning was that he brought home the wrong plastic watermelon from the store. It fractured his orbital bone and she still came over the next day. I haven’t been able to figure out if his entire class is full of brats or if he just decided he wants the ones with the worst manners to be his girlfriend but damn, that kid has bad taste.

14. Moms never forget, and will make sure you don’t either

During a pretty dark time in my life, I brought home this girl I met from a rave. That should have been enough for me to realize this was a bad idea, but I had just gotten out of a 2.5 year relationship with my high school sweetheart and was she was the next human to show interest in me.

When my parents asked her name, she introduced herself as ‘Stormy’ (her nickname from middle school). She then told us she was legally blind and albino. Said she could see ghosts and had a history of talking to dead people. Loved pot and was an artist. (she was actually pretty good for a blind chick) She then asked if I’d like to drive her across the country to meet her family after knowing me for 4 days.

That ended preeeety quickly. My parents and friends still give me shit for it and with every girl they’ve met since then, they ask if her name is something like Blizzard or Rainfall.

15. Now read this in a Scouse accent

I was there when my nephew brought his girlfriend home for the first time. From were I was sat I could see my extremely houseproud sister-in-law cooking away in the kitchen…and watch in horror as this girl puts her booted, muddy feet on the dinner table.

I’m looking at him, then at her, then at my sister-in-law who then came in and with all the icey fury only a Scouse mother can provide ask her to take her feet down. She scowled and asked what was so fancy.

Long story short, she cheated on him a lot and my sister-in-law begged him to dump her for over a year. Then she left him for another guy. Classy.

16. I spy a word, that starts with C and ends with unt.

My son had this girlfriend that was perfect. She was smart, very pretty, very nice girl. Then this psycho bitch from hell broke them up. I think I was more devastated than he was. Now begins total hell and mayhem. New gf is defiant, angry and inconsiderate. He is constantly running out in the middle of the night to save her ass because she is gonna kill herself or she has sneaked out of the house and is walking the roads in the middle of the night or some such crisis. She would come to parties at our house and I always told her she was not allowed to drink because she was under age and she would sit right there in front of me and drink anyways. It was constant drama. She had absolutely nothing going for her. Not her looks or brains or anything. She lived to create hell with all those associated with her. I hated her. I still hate her all these years later. She was just a nasty little bitch that did not care about anyone but herself and who thought she could do just as she pleased without paying the consequences.

17. Kevin Bacon makes a surprise appearance

I’m a mother of two grown up sons. I generally keep my opinions to myself about their choices and try and get on with whoever they are with.

My eldest once had a beautiful, seemingly intelligent girlfriend who was, to be polite, a little highly strung. His room was at the very top of the house and one day I was downstairs playing music to drown out the sound of her getting completely hysterical. From two floors up I heard the unmistakable sound of a really hard slap and her screaming.

I flew up the stairs thinking that he had finally cracked and crossed the line and hit her – which I think is completely unacceptable. When I saw them I was shocked to see that he had a handprint across his face and scratches. To be fair she was honest enough to tell me that she was just in a bitchy mood and he hadn’t done anything to her, but I could never look at her again without being aware of what she was capable of. I was so relieved when they broke up.

As Kevin Bacon says, Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty. I would just add, keep the volume down during both.

18. Anyone who introduces schedule I drugs to their SO deserves to get shot and hanged

Mom here. The worst one was the one who introduced my son to heroin. It’s been 4 years of hell but today he has 4.5 months clean and sober, by the grace of God and the fellowship of AA.

19. Don’t date druggies. Just don’t

A little opposite but still relevant. My 19-year-old daughter brought home a 26-year-old she met in college. He had been a heroin addict for over 10 years. Only 1 year clean. Eventually due to circumstances, we moved out and they moved in to our old home and were suppose to pay our mortgage when we moved to a new place. Daughter moved out. His brother moved in. Only paid 2 out of 7 months. They completely destroyed our home. Holes in every wall and door. Windows broken out. Used up $1200 worth of fuel oil that they were suppose to pay for (on our house account) we got sued because they never paid.

They fucked with the wiring in our house. Making it basically unrentable.

We should sue them, but our lawyer says that such fucking dirt bags will never pay up and we would just spend money getting a judgement we could wipe our ass on.

20. Do you see a trend here

The worst one would be the one the teenage son had that liked to be going out with one boy and dangling another in the wings in case the first one didn’t work out. She went on to tell him that various of his female family members didn’t like her, thus working on putting a wedge between him and his family. She mused on Facebook on whether she should take the morning after pill or not. She did not come to my place when I was home, only when I wasn’t. She threatened to top herself to stop another boyfriend leaving the country. She slept with her previous boyfriend while going out with my son. She simpered. She told people she was adopted to garner sympathy (she wasn’t). I didn’t like her very much.

21. You’re in for a surprise

My son is only 7 and in 1st grade so this doesn’t count as much. He has gotten in trouble in Kindergarten for kissing a girl on the cheek during a fire drill. He has a new girlfriend about every month or so. The worst one was just because of how sad it made me feel. At this age, it’s just lighthearted sweet fun. But he came home very upset because she broke up with him. Why? She doesn’t want to get hurt, as all men run away. Just like her Daddy left her. I didn’t expect this stuff at his age. Poor girl.

22. This story takes you back

This is actually a story about my own parents, and how my Gran hated my mother.

My Gran was a very old fashioned English Protestant. Prim and proper, stiff upper lip, can be very judgmental and so on and so forth.

My Dad met my mum when he was 20 and she was 25. It’s the early 80s and my mum used to be a bit of a punk. Short messy hair, black and white striped drain pipes with patches and rips, leather jacket. They’d been seeing each other for a while and had gone out drinking, ended up staying in a pub lock in until the early morning, and decided it’d be safer for her to stay at his.

She slept on the sofa, out of respect to my Dad’s parents – whom she had yet to meet – and she was woken up when my Gran entered the living room, tutted, went “ergh” and stomped off up stairs to my Dad’s room and said quite loudly, “What in God’s name is THAT in the living room?!”

That didn’t stop them of course, but my Mum knew she’d never win her over, so ultimately made no effort to, which didn’t help matters.

My Grandad on the other hand, got on with my Mum like a house on fire. The next time my Mum met my Dad’s family was around Christmas. The women were expected to spend the day cooking and preparing a meal, whilst my Dad, Grandad and uncles were going to the pub. As the men were getting ready to leave, my Gran handed my Mum a pinny and asked her to start helping out and my Mum just handed it her back and said, “No thanks, I think I’ll be going to the pub with the lads.” She then ordered a pint of Guinness, to the amazement of my Grandad who said, really proudly to my Dad; “Ooooh, I like her. It’s about time someone stood up to those witches.”

23. Moms have it rough

MY son is 24-years-old and in 2012, he became involved with a lady 15 years older than him. The age I felt was maybe just a faze. He would move on to greener, younger pastures. Young men usually do. Well this woman managed to brainwash and drag him down a road of hell. And of course, me right along with them. They were together 5 months and she had him so water headed he believed she was pregnant with his child. Come to find out the throwing up came from shooting up heroin. He was also guilty of doing the same thing. I tried to be their for him but I knew if I tried to tell him anything bad about her it would push him away from me and the thought of me getting a call in the middle of the night telling me he was dead killed me, so I kept on putting up with her shit. No matter what I did was never enough. There was always some kind of bull shit I said or supposable did. She was turning him against me slowly but surely. Because that was the only way she had total control over him was to keep him away from me. That got him 5 months in county jail and a broken heart. The upside to my story is he is now off of drugs, working and things are looking up for him. I am blessed.

24. Mom tells current girlfriend about ex-girlfriend, story ensues

My boyfriend’s mom told me about his ex girlfriend whom she hated. The relationship lasted for about 2-2 and a half years. It was normal at first and the girl was nice, but she started acting very clingy.

My boyfriend had a band. She would get angry whenever he had band practice, which was at the same time every week. She would make statuses and tweet about how much she missed him and forced him to cancel practice to spend time with her even though they were together nearly every day due to school.

Whenever he would talk to other girls casually, she would get angry and proceed to stalk them. I started speaking to him online about a year and a half into their relationship and could confirm that he was loyal to her. She noticed him speaking to me and made him hand over his phone to see our texts. He gladly did so since he has nothing to be ashamed of, and though she saw nothing bad, she got angrier. She hacked into his laptop while he was making lunch for them, went into his Facebook, sent me a message saying “never speak to me again”, and blocked me.

She would also unlock his phone and delete girls’ numbers off of his phone. Once, she deleted the number of this woman who was going to set up a big show for his band. His mother overheard him yelling at her because she keeps going through his stuff without his permission.

When their relationship was hanging by a thread, he became the hated boyfriend among her parents. He sold so much of his shit just to take her out for a movie and sushi. He let her eat, took her to the arcade, and brought her to the movies only to find out he was a few dollars short for tickets since the prices went up. She stormed to the car, he apologized and said he sold 2 of his most expensive video games just for this date and gas, and she went home and told her parents. They called his mother the next day and told her that her son is a fucking asshole who thinks their daughter is only worth two video games.
That same night, she posted a death threat to me on her tumblr, blocked me from his Facebook again, and when she saw that I liked his status, she screenshot it and harassed me asking why I was liking her boyfriend’s statuses.

A few days later, she was calling him an ass. He said he was willing to walk to her house, which was over a mile away, to talk to her. Halfway into his walk over, she broke up with him because he was taking too long. He came home, his mother heard about the whole thing, and she was so angry that he put up with her shit.

She’s now dating a guy 10 years older than her and on their second date, he bought her a Rolex. She still stalks his Instagram and likes his photos still. He can’t totally escape her because his best friend’s girlfriend is her best friend.

Thankfully, we’ve been together for over a year now and I’m glad she’s out of his life. Once we started going out, his mother told me that if I act even remotely like his ex, she will put a stop to our relationship immediately since she doesn’t want to have to deal with that. I’ve done a good job so far I think.

25. Empty-headed

Son was dating a new woman and brought her over to supper one night. This was the only time I met her. She was beautiful, absolutely gorgeous…with scandinavian good looks….blond with icy pale blue eyes that just jumped right out at you!

After we ate, cleaned up and then visited for about 4 hours…they left….and all I could think was, “Please…no…not this one” She attempted to be social, but seemed so empty headed!! To the point where I was beginning to think perhaps she was developmentally disabled! Quite childlike.

Apparently it was the stunning good looks that caught my sons interest, but as they only dated about a month..I guess when he tried to talk with her…he realized all by himself!

26. You added her on Facebook and did WHAT

My son brought home a lovely girl that we all really liked. She even added me as a Facebook friend. About 6 months in,she posts a status saying she can’t decide between my son and this other guy, going into a detailed comparison. (Complete with who is better in bed.) My son rarely uses Facebook so he didn’t see it, so I called her out on it quietly in a private message. They broke up that night. Funny thing is, this other guy she was contemplating choosing over my son was only using her, so now she’s single again.

27. Oedipus complex at work here

You know how they say little boys want to marry their moms? Well, one day my son brought home a girl that looked so much like me it was crazy. I did a double take when I first saw her. Later I found out she has the same birthday as me, that was totally creepy. She’s still around because they had a baby together but they are no longer dating. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Like this? Check out All My Friends Are Engaged here.

TC Site

.sguHhgU@ :mih wolloF .golataC thguohT ta recudorP a si leahciM

Keep up with hoK on Twitter and thoughtcatalog.com

More From Thought Catalog