1. Truth will hurt
What people’s 100% honest opinion on me is.
2. Not a great thing to picture in your head ever
What position was used to conceive me?
3. It’s always higher than you think
How many girls would have said yes?
I don’t think I could handle any answer.
4. But size doesn’t matter (says some women)
“Just how big was your ex-boyfriend’s dong in comparison to mine?”
No thank you.
5. Oh man, this is creepy
In my house, have I closed more doors than I have opened? I live alone.
6. Like in Civilization?
Did my wife settle?
7. “I wish I had thumbs”
What my cat thinks when I masturbate.
8. Uh oh
Is my kid just really tan?
9. Don’t ruin the surprise
“What will be the best moment in my life?”
It would be ruined because I would know all about it.
10. Why would you even wonder this
What does a paper cut on a clitoris feel like?
11. Do we choose to believe?
Do we have free will? Only because of the possibility of it being no. Lawrence Krauss talks about how everything may be chemical reaction after chemical reaction including what goes on in our heads. Meaning, everything we think or decide is just due to a reaction before it. I love science, but this may be one thing I will refuse to believe no matter how much evidence there is. I make my own decisions dammit!
12. The answer, may just surprise you. More at 10
Who had/has a crush on me that I was completely oblivious to?
How many insects go into my mouth when I’m asleep?
14. Holy crap, that would be a terrible thing to carry around with you
So this needs backstory.
2008, Sangin Afghanistan. My platoon had just handed our base over to the Brits. We were holding a briefing concerning the convoy we would be leaving in the next day when a mortar fell right on the other side of the wall (this base was really small, maybe 150 meters at it’s longest point.) We all ducked, and started looking around. It was then we spotted a kid of about 12 standing up on a hill near one of the posts. The kid was holding a radio and appeared to be talking.
For those of you who don’t know how mortars work, they are indirect fire weapons. They fire from a distance, and often can’t see their effects on target. Therefore it is the job of a forward observer to pass the information about where the mortar hit, and how far it is from the target, so those firing can adjust their fire.
So here we are, a mortar just struck. This kid is standing on a hill with a radio, and appears to be calling in an adjustment. Our Staff Sergeant shouted for someone to go get rid of the kid, since the Brits on post weren’t doing anything about it.
I grabbed my corpsman’s rifle and an interpreter and hoofed it up to the nearest post, and was greeted with some variation of “how’s it going mate?” From the guy on post, who’s sitting there reading a book. I asked him how long the kid had been out there, and he said quite a while, but he’s not doing anything. So now I was certain this kid was up to no good. I aimed the rifle at the kid and told the interpreter to tell the kid to get the fuck out of here or I’d shoot him. The kid didn’t move (common occurrence), so I fired a flare at the kid (pen flare, commonly used for warnings.) It passed pretty close, and the kid took off.
No more mortars fell that day. I explained to the guy on post why I was doing that (he was pretty oblivious to the fact that this kid was likely spotting mortars,) and I went down to the briefing.
Now, I could have shot the kid. Hell, I should have shot him. All signs pointed to a hostile intent and in the city of Sangin children are quite open about the fact that they’d like to grow up and be Taliban. But I gave him a chance and he took it, albeit grudgingly.
The question I don’t want answered however, is what that kid did with his life after that encounter. Sure, maybe he got spooked, realized he didn’t want to be involved in the Taliban, and moved on with life. However, the other possible outcome is that he went home and told his family and friends about how that dumb Marine let him go and he just kept doing what he was doing. There’s also the opportunity that he was doing nothing wrong whatsoever. Too many possibilities, but the one that scares me the most is the concept that he could have continued fighting.
In 2010 one of my friends was killed in that same city. More men than I can count have been killed and maimed in that city since I was there. What terrifies me is that I may have failed them. That letting that kid walk off could have cost my friend his life. So I don’t want to know what he did. I’d rather just ponder.
15. Think about it
Are there really monsters in my closet?
When does the world end?
Who was phone?
18. Baby, you look great
Do I look fat in these pants?