1. Oh god. OH GOD
After giving birth ladies are advised they don’t need to tell the doctor about the huge clots falling out their vagina until they’re bigger than a lemon.
2. They eat us???
You have a friendly symbiotic relationship with bacteria in your gut that keeps you healthy and helps you digest food. When you die, they will eat you.
3. Cute stomach
When you blush, the lining of your stomach blushes too.
4. Oh wow, that’s ridiculous
Retrograde ejaculation. As a male ER triage phone nurse, I used to get calls from freaked out guys thinking they broke themselves. You get the complete sensation of orgasm, but nothing comes out. It goes into the bladder instead. The next time you pee, the urine comes out foamy. It’s usually a side-effect of certain medications.
5. Really?
If one is born with the inability to breakdown 1 single amino acid (phenylalanine), they will become mentally retarded when they grow older if they continue to eat foods containing it.
6. We commit murder
Three hundred million of your cells die every minute.
7. Do not eat butterfish
Eating more than 6oz of escolar (also known as butterfish) will you give you super orange, oily diarrhea. Said diarrhea is so liquidy that it feels like passing gas when it comes out, so you’ll probably shit yourself too. Some countries have banned the sale of said fish.
8. Oh. My. God.
A woman’s uterus can fall out of her vagina if the muscles are too weak…
9. We have a lot of space
If you could scrunch together all the bacteria living on the outside of your body, they would take up about the same amount of space as a pea.
10. This one gave me shivers
11. Weight loss
Humans shed 40 pounds of skin in their lifetimes
12. Haha, you anus
We are deuterostomes. I like to tell people that they were an asshole before they were anything else.
13. It’s really called tenderizing
Getting a massage is actually breaking down tissues ever so slightly.
14. I wish I never read that
If your immune system comes in contact with your eye, it will recognize it as a foreign body and attack it.
15. Man, animals have it easy
That when you need to shit really badly as a dude, it puts pressure on your prostate which can cause you to get an erection.
Also, that we need to wipe our bums. No other animal wipes their bums, only us. This disturbs me. Maybe it is a tradeoff for our self awareness? That would seem fair…
16. But let’s not try and test this out
Your body actually has an innate plan for what needs to happen if you end up 20+ feet under water. This was commonly called the “drowning response”, but many have argued that this is a misnomer, as a drowning response should be activated at or near the surface, but there are some portions that don’t happen there. For instance, the blood shift. When you are deep under water, your body constricts the blood vessels in your extremities and non-immediately essential organs, your heart slows. This allows you to not only survive, but to stay conscious, sharp, and alert at some pretty ridiculous depths. While you’re down that deep, there’s also an incredible calming sensation that keeps you from getting all worked up and using all your oxygen too fast.
Additionally, many (perhaps not most) people have the ability to run virtually entirely anaerobically for rather long periods of time. This is how people hold their breath for 10+ minutes without going brain dead. Their body simply trips to run the anaerobic cycle and produce lactic acid, conserving their oxygen reserves to be used to keep the brain conscious.
For these reasons, many have argued that this is far more likely a DIVE response, meaning that we’re all a bit better prepared to be in the water than we’ve been led to believe. You are genetically engineered to be submersible. That’s both a little weird and very cool.
17. TEETH
18. One too many milkshakes and…
Lipemia: your blood when spun down should look like a clear yellow liquid, but with too much fat in your blood your serum start to look like a milk shake.
19. Blech
Some tumors can grow teeth.
20. Uh, this guy must’ve done some cadaver work while he was hungry
The spinal cord is exactly the same texture as a vienna sausage, and preserved human tissue looks like pulled pork.
Bone dust smells like Cool Ranch Doritos.
21. Oops!
One of your pubic hairs could shut down a restaurant.
22. *wink*
Vaginal fluid is a combination of plasma and mucus.
23. Poopy poopy mcpoopypants
Heroin addicts have been found to have up to 18 pounds of impacted fecal matter in their intestines.
24. Hey, we’re all full of shit
We carry poo and pee in us at all times. We don’t think about it until we actually go to the bathroom, but everyone has some inside…at all times.
25. Trust your body
You have a gland at the very bottom of your asshole that tells you if what is about to come out is shit or fart.
26. Shave with a single razor
If an ingrown hair breaches the hypodermis (the innermost of 3 layers of skin) then it is likely to cause blood poisoning. Such cases often go undetected and can lead to gangrene and limb amputation. The most dangerous ingrowth is under the chin at the junction with the neck, what people call the neckbeard.
