10. iaccidentlytheworld
It was move out day and my rommate was working on a paper last minute. I was packing my stuff. His parents walked in and were absolutely pissed that he wasn’t packed yet. They immediately started scolding him while I was still in the room, but thankfully I had a final to go to and figured I’d dodge the storm. I said my goodbyes, assuming they’d be gone by the time I got back from my two hour final and went on my way. As it happens, my final only took twenty minutes so I got back much sooner than they’d have expected. I opened the door, saw my roommate bent over his bed with his bare ass showing just as his mom wound up for a spank, and closed it as quick as I could. I went over to a friend’s dorm and helped her pack for a while until I felt safe enough to return. I never brought it up to him after that.
Flickr / jeffschwartz
11. john_was_here
Not my roommate, but a guy we shared a hall with. Moving in, I did the standard get-to-know-yous around the hall. Everyone seemed cool, except for this one guy. Very anti-social, greasy everything, and smelled AWFUL. Since he was in a wheelchair, he had his own bathroom so we didn’t see much of him. After the first couple of weeks living in the dorm everything is hunky dory; that’s when the odor started. It quite literally smelled like shit. After some sniff searching, we came to the conclusion that it was coming from smelly wheelchair guy’s (SWG) room. We complained to the RA about the smell, and they installed an air freshener in the hallway. Naturally, it masked the odor from shit to shit and flowers. It got so bad that girls would refuse to come to our room because of the smell. That was the last straw and we demanded he be moved. Thankfully, after winter break SWG was gone and we finally found out about the source of the smell.
It turns out the guy wore adult diapers. So he’s got bowel issues, not really that big of deal I guess. Whereas a normal person would dispose of a soiled diaper, this kid put them in a duffle bag underneath the bed and kept it there. He accumulated quite a collection. Multiple duffle bags. Once he moved out, they tore up the carpet, stripped and repainted the walls, and fumigated the room.
12. SwillFish
My freshman roommate made and sold fake baptismal certificates that other students would use to get fake IDs. Sometimes I’d be in the room alone when some complete stranger would knock on the door to ask if this was the place to buy fake IDs. By the end of the year my roommate had made over $6,000 and never got busted.
13. Kolya52b
My roommate freshman year was really cool, for the first semester. We liked video games, most of the same music, got along well, etc. We were also both majoring in the same subject, so that was cool. So, first semester went by very smoothly.
Enter second semester. We get back from the holidays, and he goes back home on the first weekend after break. He comes back saturday afternoon, and seemed generally upset, so I asked him what was wrong. Well, he never told me the full story, but his girlfriend broke up with him. After that, it all went to fucking SHIT. He would play call of duty and SCREAM at the television (on my xbox/tv/internet… we only had 2 ethernet ports and no wireless, so I would let him use mine for xbox live if I wasn’t there, and let him finish a couple games after I got back before making him return my internet). I mean he would fucking yell at this game like it just raped his grandmother in front of him.
He would get food, most notably sushi with very generous amounts of soy sauce, leave his trash on MY desk, on MY FUCKING COMPUTER, getting soy sauce all over it. Luckily, it was only on the outside, but I was still pissed. Very pissed. He left all sorts of other trash on my desk and on my bed, which I made him clean up. He seemed oblivious to it. “dude… clean your fucking trash off my shit… seriously, this has got to stop.” “oh my bad I didn’t notice.”
He would wake up at 3 in the morning and start watching world of warcraft videos on youtube at full blast, and seemingly didn’t notice that I was in the room (again “oh sorry dude, my bad”). If he wasn’t in bed by 9 o’clock, he would come home at 1-2 in the morning, turn the light on, and get on the phone (once again…. he says “oh sorry, my bad.”).
In addition to leaving his trash everywhere, he just threw all of his shit like clothes, books, papers, gadgets, etc, under his bed, which eventually spread out into such a massive pile that I couldn’t open our dorm room door.
When he went to bed at 9:00pm and I wasn’t even remotely tired, I would turn my computer brightness all the way down and plug in headphones so he could sleep, but he’d just wake up and tell me to shut it the fuck off, to which I replied “look, it’s only like 9:30. You live with another person. I try to be as considerate as I can, but seriously, a little bit of computer glow isn’t going to kill you. Wear those eye-cover things you bought 3 weeks ago.” “oh i forgot I had those.” Needless to say, it fucking sucked.
tl;dr: freshman roommate was cool first semester. second semester, his gf (of a presumably long time) broke up with him, and he fell apart.
edit: text wall also, he started masturbating to hentai when I was in the room. we were both at our desks, which were facing the same way. 3 feet from each other. What the fuck.
explanatory edit: By scream, I mean we would have people complaining from another wing of the building because he screamed so violently when he played CoD (one time from someone 2 floors below…)
