I met my husband online.
There, I said it. To all the family members who believed the lie about meeting him at the gym, I’m sorry. Did you really think I go to the gym enough to meet people? LOL. We were ashamed of it, that’s why we lied. Even though it’s the 21st century and online activity is at an all-time high, we still catch back lash about this part of our relationship. I’ve compiled a short list of things you should know before trying your luck at online dating.
1. Be prepared for the men only looking for sex.
I totally understand why people are so judgmental about our meeting online. There is definitely a stereotype there. Most people assume that if you’re on an online dating app or website that you’re only looking for hook-ups. They’re not wrong. Even though my bio on tinder specifically stated that I was not looking for random and meaningless sex, I still had many men send me inappropriate messages asking for such things. It was extremely frustrating. Even the ones who didn’t ask for it up front would somehow find a way to work it into the conversation entirely too early for a respectable lady.
2. I do not recommend Tinder.
I tried it for a while, but I found that a majority of the men on there were very shallow and only looking for sex. My husband and I met on Plenty of Fish. I was drawn to this particular website/app because it gave you a lot of options about what to share with other people and would match you based on your interests. I found that the men on POF seemed to put in more effort than the men on tinder, and I’m the type of lady that appreciates effort. I’m not saying you can’t find your soulmate on Tinder (my bff totally did it!), I’m just saying, it may be a little harder.
3. Be patient.
This finding your soulmate (or even just a decent person) thing takes time. I talked to several men that I thought I might really like, only to be “ghosted” after a few days. I went on several bad dates. By the time I finally met my husband, I was so over the whole online dating thing. I was so ready to throw in the towel. But I thought, “What the hell? What’s one more going to hurt?” Let me tell you, all the nasty messages from pervs, and all the bad dates, and all the guys who thought I was too “curvy”, it was all worth it when I finally met him.
4. Don’t lie on your profile.
I am a curvy girl. These hips are no joke. I was completely up front and honest about this. I shared realistic full-pictures of myself. I wanted all the men to know that what you see is what you get. Like my girl Meghan Trainor says, “I ain’t no size 2, but I can shake it, shake it, like I’m supposed to do.” Don’t let some guy think you’re a size 2 in your photos, when in reality, you’re a size 12. That’s just awkward for everyone.
5. And on the flip side of that coin: Be aware of men who will lie on their profile.
Where women lie about their weight, I have found that men almost always lie about their height. It’s probably my own fault for not doing a sufficient amount of research (creeping), but somehow or another I ended up on a date with a guy who was, no joke, 5 feet tall. Not 5’11, not 5’5, straight up 5 foot nothing. His profile said 5’9. Yeah, maybe if you were wearing heels and a top hat. Thanks for the free dinner though, Josh. In that particular circumstance, this man told a whale of a lie about his height. However, my own husband also lied about his height. He’s probably 5’10 on a good day, 5’9-ish without shoes. But he lied on his profile and said he was 6 foot. And yes, I do still give him crap about that as often as possible.
6. Which leads me to this: Do your research.
If you’re thinking about meeting up with someone you met online the first thing you better do is Google them. Google shows all social media accounts including, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, you name it. Google also shows mugshots and any news articles that your guy’s name has popped up in. You definitely want to know all of these things. Is he a convicted felon? Ask Google. Is he actually married? Ask Google. Is he catfishing the hell out of you? Ask Google.
7. Don’t meet your date in a secluded spot.
The general rule of thumb is to drive yourself and meet in an extremely public place. We all know there are some sick people out there. Just use your common sense, and you should be fine.
Meeting someone online isn’t always easy, but in my case, it was worth it. Who knows if I would have ever met my husband if I had not weeded through all the other profiles out there? It’s certainly not for everyone, but don’t let the stigma around it scare you away if you’re really serious about finding someone.