I fell for a city where I laughed and rapped to beats in the car with my best friends. I was only in San Francisco for a day, but it felt like an eternity. My adrenaline was pumping as I took in all the different shops the city offered me on every corner. The streets were decked in lights, red, blue, and green mixed into the distance.
I saw people hurried around to get to where they needed to be, along with the pieces of conversations from different people, and everything worked in sync as I wondered how a place could be so beautifully chaotic. I sat on a grassy plain admiring the city, as I leaned on my best friend’s shoulder looking away at the array of colorful houses trickling down the side of the road and I fell in love. That is when I realized that this is what I should fall in love with.
I realized that “love” is having friends that love you for you, no matter what. That love can also be that sensation I feel when my heart yearns for an adventure in a way that it does not when thinking of finding my soul mate or the “boy of my dreams.” That it is much better than a dream. It is real. That it is when you’ll thank yourself for being strong, for enduring the brokenness and the pain, for having faith that one day you’d feel something again. That you need to be happy with yourself and the people you have around you, and not dwell on the people that are not coming back.
This wasn’t just a trip to a city, it was the start of my journey. The start of a new outlook on life that doesn’t involve negativity, or regret. That only involves love, healing, positivity, and acceptance for myself.
This is what I want to fall in love with. The city and the lights, not boys, or the idea of finding a boy. I want to fall in love with these places, and the people I pass by that I will never see again.
I want to have seen hundreds of different lights from different cities by the time I’m 80. I want to say that I have lived and discovered the inner corners of my heart, and what makes it pump a little louder.
Fall in love with the lights and the cities, not the sadness and the heartbreak. Fall in love with the people in your life that you already have with you, the ones that give you reasons to be happier when you start your day. Fall in love with the way you catch yourself laughing for no reason and everyone looks at you like you’re crazy. Fall in love with the moment that you don’t wish you could go back to because you took it all in, instead of being on your phone. Fall in love, the kind that doesn’t have expectations or disappointments because you are sure of the only outcome being joy.
I want to fall in love this way, over and over again.
I want to discover every city’s view from above, and every smile that their visuals can give me. I want to have a laugh attack with four of my friends as we roll in the grass and can’t get up. I want to leave a piece of my heart in every city I go to, not every boy I fall in love with. I want to travel till I fall in love with the world.
This is my happiness, and I’m glad I have found it now. So don’t give up on finding what makes you happy, because you’ll loose the chance to see what this world is really about.
Trust me, it’s much more than just boys.