Blame is a way we discharge pain.
Giving is wonderful and necessary. But when we give and give too much we can become depleted and even sick or depressed from resentment. Staying healthy depends on sometimes saying no.
Children with too much shame grow up to be adults who can no longer sense their inner experiences. They learn not to feel, and they lose the ability to use their emotions as a compass for living.
Emotions are not for the weak, they are for the human.