Instead Of Giving Up, I’ve Learned To Hold You Tighter On The Bad Days

Underwater photo of a bride and groom plunged below the surface, sharing a kiss
Sweet Ice Cream Photography / Unsplash

If there is one thing I’m sure of about myself when it comes to relationship is I’m difficult to be with. It takes so much to make up my mood once it’s ruined. When I get mad, I just couldn’t let it go easily. I leave once someone couldn’t handle my intensity. I give up when I know I’m better off alone.

I have always held on to the thought that even if I think I’m hard as hell to be with, someone would gladly be by my side through it all. But instead of waiting, I became that someone. When you find someone worthy of it all, you just couldn’t help but to become better. And I couldn’t be more glad to stay by her side through everything life throws at her. At us. 

Now, when I’m faced with a difficult situation, I learned to be patient, to think well before jumping into conclusions. I learned to be understanding even if I don’t understand myself most of the time.

I learned to hold your hand tighter when it’s just easier to let go.

I learned to be silent even when I could just shout my anger and frustrations. I learned to face you and communicate instead of walking away. I learned to embrace my flaws and weaknesses as much as I’m proud of my strengths. I learned that breakdowns are completely normal as long as I come back stronger for the both of us. I learned to value personal space the same way I treasure intimacy.

And most especially, I learned to love you more on your bad days.

When you couldn’t get out of bed, when you would rather stay in, when you’re tired with everything and when you basically don’t feel like existing – you will find me at the end of the day willing to hold you tighter than ever. TC mark

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