“At the start of my whole self-care journey, I was so lost and confused, but one thing that made me really truly happy was sitting in the morning sun on the front porch drinking iced coffee out of a wine glass. That changed everything for me.”
I had this conversation with someone I love very much, who is also much older and at the end of their career. Certainly not a 20-something wanting to start over again and again.
However, I have 20-something friends who feel tied down in the same way, and that shit sucks.
The root of depression and anxiety boils down to feeling stuck in a situation that feels too heavy to get out of. The more shit we own, property, contracts, and responsibilities we have, the more it might feel like you’re slowly suffocating.
Don’t you miss breathing?
Yes. Safety and groundedness are essential for everyone. We can’t create or love out of scarcity.
But don’t many of us who have tons of money and things still experience scarcity mindsets? YES.
The thing is, you don’t have to upheave your life, career, home, and family to find joy in Thailand. And sometimes that sort of “running” can point more to childhood trauma than courage.
Finding joy in the day to day isn’t about living a nomadic lifestyle or wearing the fancy clothes at your boozy Tuesday afternoon brunch or having all the plastic things and never once feeling empty.
Joy lives in the tiny tinkerings of your days.
Joy wakes up and stretches and rolls around in the white softness of her bed before looking at her phone and checking emails.
Joy pours herself an iced coffee in a wine glass cause it makes her feel like Audrey Hepburn.
Joy has a song she sings to herself when she needs to straighten her spine, and I wish I could tell you what it is, but it’s just between me and her.
Joy makes sure to really look at herself in the mirror each day. To take the time to see the perfection. The soul. What god was trying to convey when he painted her hair copper.
Joy stares at her food and thinks not of the tomatoes but of the seeds, sun, winds, muddy hands farming, and the muddy hand’s family. All the miles they traveled just to be right here, so ripe and red and destined for her taste buds.
There is so much love and joy available to us and it begins to unfold when we dive into tiny moments. When we breathe life into our little menial routines that no one ever sees.
When we drink coffee out of crystal wine glasses on the front porch instead of mugs.