How To Approach A Conversation With Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type

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Te-Users – ENTJs And ESTJs

(And to a lesser extent, INTJs and ISTJs)
Discuss goals and objectives.

To get on a Te-user’s ‘level,’ ask them what their concrete goals and objectives for the future are. Be specific, logical and straightforward about about discussing your own. Don’t overcomplicate a given issue or delve into unnecessary details – the Te-user is predominantly interested in determining the end result of a given situation, as well as the most efficient route to getting there.

Discuss logical solutions to problems that exist either in your environment or on a global scale. The Te-user enjoys flexing their mental muscles to work out how a given problem could be resolved in as straight-forward and efficient a manner as possible. Steer away from discussing how a given solution might subjectively (or emotionally) be interpreted by individuals, as this picks on the Te-dom’s inferior function (Fi) and will cause them to quickly lose energy.

Ti-Users – ISTPs And INTPs

(And to a lesser extent, ESTPs and ENTPs)
Discuss relevant information and research.

To get on a Ti-user’s ‘level,’ bring up relevant research or data that speaks directly to the topic you’re discussing. If you don’t know much about it, ask them where you might go or what you ought to read in order to learn more. Don’t pretend to have knowledge on a subject that you don’t actually have – the Ti-user is likely to see through this quickly and lose respect for you.

Discuss the necessary implications of various facts and how they relate to one another – the Ti-user enjoys piecing together pieces of confirmed information into cohesive logical systems. Steer away from discussing the emotional impact that a logical system might have on others if implemented – this picks on the Ti-dom’s inferior function (Fe) and will cause them to quickly lose energy.

Fe-Users – ESFJs And ENFJs

(And to a lesser extent, ISFJs and INFJs)
Focus on the human aspect of a given situation or event.

To get on an Fe-user’s ‘level,’ bring up how a given situation is likely to impact the people involved in it. Discuss the needs of a given group and how their needs might be met as fairly as possible. Show genuine concern for the well-being of others. Ask questions about the people in the Fe-user’s life, or mutual acquaintances.

Discuss how to resolve interpersonal issues either amongst people you know in real life or on a larger scale (politically/institutionally). Keep in mind that the Fe-user is predominantly interested in how these issues affect the people involved. Steer away from discussing the cold, logical implications or nuances of a given outcome, as this picks on the Fe-dom’s inferior function (Ti) and will cause them to quickly lose energy.

Fi-Users – ISFPs And INFPs

(And to a lesser extent, ESFPs and ENFPs)
Discuss passions and dreams (yours or theirs).

To get on an Fi-user’s ‘level,’ ask them about their passions, interests or dreams. Show genuine interest in what they care about, by asking them personal questions (what made them become passionate about this particular issue, where they find inspiration, etc.). In turn, confide your own passions and values and be willing to answer personal questions about yourself.

Ask the Fi-user for their subjective interpretation of a given situation – invite them to explore the deeper meaning behind it and express any creative solutions that might occur to them. Ask them about where they’d like to take their passions in the future, but don’t press for specific details or dwell on which concrete actions they are (or are not) taking on them – this picks on the Fi-dom’s inferior function (Te) and will cause them to quickly lose energy.

Si-Users – ISFJs And ISTJs

(And to a lesser extent, ESFJs and ESTJs)
Discuss facts and past occurrences.

To get on an Si-user’s ‘level,’ discuss specific details of past or present events that are meaningful to them. Ask them about their hobbies, interests or past-times and encourage them to explain the specifics of those interests (I.e. If they enjoy hiking, ask them to name their favorite trails or discuss which trekking equipment they find to be the most reliable. If they enjoy reading, ask them who their favorite authors are and which of their books they enjoyed the most). Find common ground by bonding over experiences you’ve both had, or discussing activities you both enjoy.

When discussing big-picture issues, focus on specific facts and data, or bring up instances in history that relate to the current situation. Si-dom (and aux) users are down-to-earth individuals who want seek out reliable sources of information. Steer away from discussing unorthodox ideas, or suggesting unpredictable solutions to problems – this picks on the Si-dom’s inferior function (Ne) and will cause them to quickly lose energy.

Se-Users – ESTPs And ESFPs

(And to a lesser extent, ISTPs and ISFPs)
Discuss current events and present-focused activities.

To get on an Se-user’s ‘level,’ discuss what’s presently happening in your environment or what they’ve been up to in the recent past. These types enjoy telling stories and relaying experiences, particularly ones they think you might relate to. Ask them to tell you about a trip they’ve recently been on, a situation they’re facing at work or how they accomplished a particular goal. Ask open-ended questions that allow them to extrapolate on their experiences.

When discussing current events or big-picture issues with an Se-user, reference specific examples and facts that back up your points. These types are straight-shooters, who see things exactly as they are, and are rarely interested in speculating about the way things might be under X or Y circumstance. Bringing up theoretical situations or speculating abstractly about the future picks on the Se-dom’s inferior function (Ni) and will cause them to quickly lose energy.

Ne-Users – ENFPs And ENTPs

(And to a lesser extent, INFPs and INTPs)
Discuss a wide variety of possibilities for the future.

To get on an Ne-user’s ‘level,’ ask them open-ended questions about the future – what are their plans and ideas? How do they think things will change in the next 100 years? Which do they think should change on an individual or global level? These types delight in the opportunity to speculate about what could be, and they enjoy formulating creative solutions to abstract problems.

If possible, invite the Ne-user to provide creative feedback on a given situation. These types are outside-the-box thinkers who relish in the chance to invent alternate ways of doing things. However, don’t press them for specific details on their big-picture ideas – this picks on the Ne-dom’s inferior function (Si) and will cause them to quickly lose energy.

Ni-Users – INFJs And INTJs

(And to a lesser extent, ENFJs and ENTJs)
Discuss the likelihood of future developments.

To get on an Ni-user’s ‘level,’ ask them questions about how they think things are likely to develop in the future – where do they see themselves in five or ten years? How do they think a given political situation is likely to turn out? Which problems do they see developing in their current environment? How might those problems be avoided?

These types enjoy ‘connecting the dots’ between things that are happening in the present, and understanding how those patterns are likely to play out in the future. They enjoy inventing theories about why things happen the way they do and searching for explanations that are not immediately apparent in their environment. Steer away from discussing the details of what the Ni-dom’s vision of the future means for the present. This picks on their inferior function (Se) and will cause them to quickly lose energy. TC mark

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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