I Asked Each Personality Type To Open Up About Their Sexuality - Here's What They Had To Say
PsychologySex

I Asked Each Personality Type To Open Up About Their Sexuality – Here’s What They Had To Say

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ENFPs And Sexual Orientation

Of the 445 participants sampled:

75% identified as heterosexual
19% identified as bisexual or pansexual
4% identified as homosexual.
2% identified as ‘other.’

ENFPs And Sex Drive

When asked to rate their sex drive on a scale of one to ten, the mean ranking was 6.92.

ENFPs And Hookup Culture

When asked how they felt about “hookup culture:”

45% of participants selected “I dislike it and rarely/never engage in it.”
50% of participants selected “I like some aspects of it but dislike other ones.”
5% of participants selected “I love it and almost exclusively look for casual hookups”

ENFP Commentary


1. “I suspect us ENFPS are quit sexual people, others constantly pick up on my natural sexual vibe even when I thought I was being low key.”


2. “I think my type influences my sexuality a lot. I think being an extrovert makes me more adventurous, and Ne is all about variety and experiencing everything possible, and of course being a perceiver means I’m generally more open-minded and will consider trying things that are outside of my comfort zone.”


3. “I often find myself daydreaming about the sex I’m not having rather than the sex I am having. The grass is always greener syndrome…”


4. “As an ENFP, Ne rules. That means playfulness, and even a certain naivety and innocence, mixed with a deep inner loyalty, influence this side of life. As we get older, Fi and Te balance us out big-time. The inferior introverted sensing though means sometimes it is a challenge getting out of the imagination and heart and into the body exclusively. As the oft quoted most-introverted-of-extroverts, I think some ENFP are more like INFP in that hook-up culture is frankly foreign to me and (not at all to judge) deeply unsatisfying. To a close ESFP friend however, or to an ESTP friend, the meaning lies in the physical and overthinking ruins things … So, though there is a bubbly, air and fiery, even seductive, relentless cuteness to most of our inner selves, it’s typically for one person at a time whom we adore.”


5. “I think being an ENFP it means I’m pretty frequently wanting to try new things and push boundaries a bit (with consent, of course!).”


6. “I think my personality type puts limits on my high sex drive. I don’t like to have casual hook ups and need an emotional connection.”


7. “My personality makes me open to try and experiment with anything. It makes me very passionate and intense. It makes me bold and thrive on sexual confidence. It has/could make me get attached toy partner though but it’s mostly people I’m already dating so this is not a problem.”


8. “I think ENFP/ENTP’s in general are explorers and experimenters so they always want to try something new of they’ll get bored. Sensors are probably better at long term sexual performance, types like myself need constant, new stimulation.”


9. “The reason why I know my ENFPness relates to my sexuality is because I rarely engage in sexual encounters unless I already have an emotional connection (along with a “crush”, if you will) with the person. When I’m in, I’m all in 100% and I use my sexuality to show my immense love for people–I don’t throw it around casually.”


10. “I have lots of casual sex because I find myself sexually attracted to many people at once, and can’t ever commit to one. Plus casual sex allows me to still be sexually satisfied even though my ‘things’ with people come and go so quickly.”


11. “As an ENFP I always look for new things, and am not ashamed of how I am, or what others are into (even if I’m not- no shame in my discussions). Everyone is different! We should enjoy that fact!”


12. “Being someone who is very open to new experiences lends itself to both wanting to explore an array of sexual partners and also wanting to explore in bed with one partner I’ve become close to. As an ENFP, I want to feel a connection with the person I’m having sex with on some level, whether it’s just for one night or more. I can separate sex and intimacy, but I can’t separate sex and the experience of being human. Oh, and I’m very vocal.”


13. “The ENFPs I know (male and female, including myself) usually talk about the importance of being fluid with dom/sub roles; with the desire to please the other person as top of mind while still holding onto the important ‘if I want it I want it’ thought process. The belief that there’s got to be a middle ground where you can be aggressive yet passive. The NF trait seems to make us much more attuned to giving someone what they want before they ask, while the EP seems to give us the ability to respond to and desire direct feedback without getting our feelings hurt.”


14. “Being an ENFP sets you up to be sexual. When you’re naturally open-minded, imaginative, and absolutely love love, the opportunity to physically express those emotions is such a gift. I love getting to know people deeply, especially the ones I really care about. When you’re intimate with someone, you get to know them on an entirely new level – something few people who really know you (or your partner) will ever uncover.”


15. “As an ENFP, I think I tend to compromise my values in favor of new experiences. For example, I have engaged in casual relationships in the past, charged rather confidently into the sexual parts of the relationship, and then have ended up being hurt once I got attached to the person who only wanted something casual. Luckily, I have learned.”


16. “Due to secondary Fi, I tend to stick to my moral values. I value monogamy and making love only with someone I’m in love with, so I don’t participate in casual sex or have multiple sex partners or anything of the sort.”


17. “I think as an ENFP, I’m more flexible and open to new experiences. On the other hand, people tend to judge my type as ‘flighty’ and ‘slutty’ when I honestly am super monogamous and have only had one sexual partner in my lifetime. I think people put too much stock in how personality type influences sexual activity, and I think the two aren’t that related. As a social worker, I can say I think it is more of a nurture/experience shaped thing in my opinion than an MBTI thing (which tends to be more nature/biology related).”


18. “As an ENFP I would expect to be more experimental but I’m not. I think the life of the mind and ideas with my 22 year long INTJ partner gets you into a place where the sex is truly secondary.”


19. “As an ENFP, I enjoy rather niche kinks and feel unrestricted in my search for novelty.”


20. “Being enfp I an very spontaneous. I’d love to have a sexy a partner that is more like me but he’s damn so vanilla. Honesty the biggest mistake of life was marrying an non ENFP. Great guy financially but lacking big time in kink. I’ve frequently sought out other men and almost been divorced over it but being a part of raw crazy animal sex is so exciting and addictive! Let me tell all ENFPs: make sure your partner is as crazy as you sexually or you won’t be satisfied, ever.”


21. “I feel my personality type is very non judging and open to trying new things, and due to this I actually became an escort. It’s fun and easy money so I don’t see any problem with it, as long as I take care of my safety I’m fine. Out of work though I’m quite hard on myself and always forget that I’m also trying to please myself and not just the person I’m having sex with. I usually won’t try anything too kinky until I’m emotionally invested in them, which makes sense since I’m a feeling type.”


22. “I feel it is pretty essential for me to have an intellectual connection in order to be attracted to someone. I recently tried to have a casual hookup with someone I perceive as less intellectual than me, and I just couldn’t get into it. And being an enneagram 4, I really want the feeling of someone “getting me” before I hook up with them. I wish I could engage in casual stuff more freely, especially because sometimes I just need physical contact, but I really have to have the mental connection first.”


23. “I’ve heard ENFPs described as kinky and creative in bed but as an ace ENFP, the idea of being sexually adventurous is not appealing. I think being an ENFP affects my asexuality in that, if were ever to find someone I love enough, I would be willing to have sex to make him happy. Couples sometimes do things for each other they might not want to do and I think sex would be like that for me. Or I might end up enjoying it. Who knows? I’ve never fallen in love before and even romantic attraction to anyone is rare for me.”


24. “As an ENFP, I often like to try different exciting things. I’m not really often satisfied with ‘just vanilla’ interactions. I’m kind of good to go ALL the time. But despite this, I’m pretty careful about my encounters and tend not to indulge any of my interests unless I’m sure the relationship is going somewhere.”


25. “ENFPs value deep emotional connection. Having sex with someone we connect with on an deep emotional level makes it all the more special and 100x better. I think this is why I don’t engage in casual sex because it makes me feel empty.”


26. “Being an ENFP makes me more open and down for exploration — it might contribute to why I’m comfortable with my sexuality even though I’ve yet to explore much of it (I’m still a virgin, and have never had a partner before).”


27. “Being an ENFP has made more open to new experience and members of the same sex even though I wasn’t raised in a household open to either.”


28. “My personality is all about exploring, enthusiasm, and connecting with people on a deep level. I think it’s made my sexuality a very important thing to me, that I like to share (with much passion and enthusiasm and spontaneity) with others who trigger an emotional response in me. I might not be the most sexually active person, but I fantasize A LOT with 1-3 very specific people. And if given the chance, I have no qualms on acting on those fantasies.”


29. “I think ENFPs are more likely to be submissive or a switch. As a man it is a little irritating for me, that I desire a woman to want me and be in charge, which is perhaps due to my my special cornflake personality, which wants to be desired. I like to think of me as something beautiful (omg this sounds so strange) and everything that gives me this feeling arouses me. Of course I’m easily able to get aroused by being in the common male position too, but not as much/fast as being in the traditionally more female position. Perhaps this has to do with being an ENFP, I don’t know.”


30. “I’m constantly curious. I want to experience everything in life, and that includes sex. I’m easily excitable, as an ENFP is in general, and so I go all in, with full passion and vigor…. but then later down the line I might suddenly lose all interest…”


31. “I love the engagement with every feeling, the emotional connection and the passion. I like the possibilities that sex brings, to share connection and to express a deep emotional bond. The mind is a powerful aphrodisiac. As an ENFP, I love to explore; my partner’s body, her mind, her eyes. I love to find new ways to bring excitement and pleasure to her. These are the things that make sex such a powerful and meaningful thing.”


32. “Even the roughest hardcore sex experience goes deeper than just physical and is in fact, a union between two fascinating, mysterious beings, made of complementary energies.”


33. “As an ENFP, I am more open minded. I think that is why it was so easy to accept when I learned I was a bisexual. The most difficult thing about learning about my bisexuality was not being LGBT, but was realizing I was in love with a person that was not my boyfriend. I got over the fact that they were female pretty quickly. It was only hard because I was trying to figure out if I was in love with this person or not. I have also come to realize, that I am more attracted to a person’s personality than to a person physically. Whenever one of my friends would ask me if I thought someone was hot, I would say yes, but not really agree or disagree. I have realized I am attracted to people only after I get to know them first. I think as an ENFP, I crave a deeper connection with a person. I am not a fan of one night stands. Sex is boring when I don’t feel a connection to the person, and if it’s boring there is no point at all in having sex.”TC mark


Jump To:

Rationals: ENTP / INTP / ENTJ / INTJ
Artisans: ESTP / ISTP / ESFP / ISFP
Guardians: ESTJ / ISTJ / ESFJ / ISFJ
Idealists: ENFP / INFP / ENFJ / INFJ

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About the author
Heidi is the author of The First New Universe, The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide, and The Comprehensive INFP Survival Guide. Follow Heidi on Instagram or read more articles from Heidi on Thought Catalog.

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