How To Love Someone You Cannot Hold Onto

We have all fallen for temporary people.

They come as swiftly as they go from our lives; with their reeling minds and striking bodies and genuine, wide-open hearts. They are hurricanes and madness and wrecking balls; they’re sunshine and blissful surrenders.

We want to shelter ourselves from the storms that these people embody but we also want to walk right into the center of them. We want their chaos and their madness; we want it the way others once wanted ours.

We are advised not to fall for these people. And yet we do, knowing full well we can’t keep them. How could we not, after all?

We want their nows and forevers. We want their sleepy half-smiles over coffee every morning and their sturdy arms to lull us to sleep. We want their wine-drunk Saturday evenings and their lazy Sunday mornings. We want their words and their silences; their downfalls and their strengths. We want the whole of the people we love but we’re sometimes only given a fraction. And so here’s what we do with that instead.

When we don’t get to hold on to the people we love, we wrap their memories in between our heartstrings and we carry them with us. We remember the lilt of their laughter on the days when the rain comes pouring down. We envision the curves of their skin when we need to know that all is not lost. We take the moments we share with these people and we freeze them, we immortalize them, we keep them preserved and alive inside the ancient museums of our minds.

Because love doesn’t need to last forever in order to make a lasting impression.

We don’t need to curse and resent and forget the people life didn’t let us hold onto. We don’t have to rid ourselves of their impressions and shelter ourselves from their impact. We’re allowed to let them in. We’re allowed to let them matter. We’re allowed to engage in the temporary foolishness of falling for someone who is not going to be left holding our crippled, wrinkled hand fifty years down the road.

Because some people simply are not meant to stay forever. Some people come into our lives for a season, for a reason, for the simple purpose of showing us the world in a way we would never have seen it otherwise.

And what else can we do but hold onto these people while we have them?

What else do we do but grow enchanted by the brilliance of their minds, by the purity of their spirits, by the strength and intensity and contrast that they cast into the colorless corners of our lives?

What else do we do but memorize the scent of their skin and the taste of their bodies and the wisdom of their ever-reeling mind, so long as we still have them captured inside the tangible corners of our Universe? What else do we do but love them with everything we have before they’re gone?

After all, we never know how much time’s left.

Maybe anyone worth knowing is worth knowing for only a short while. Maybe anyone worth loving is worth loving inconclusively.

And when you look at it that way, it doesn’t seem quite so unbearable at all: to allow yourself to love someone with everything you’ve got – and then to fully and completely let them go.TC mark

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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  • dhananjaybhati

    Alluring :)

  • batesmeghan

    This was really good. Thanks so much.

  • The Wanderer Danielle

    This cuts me deep inside with how much truth it holds.
    I fell for a mexican boy when I was 15 years old. He ended up in a car accident, where the family man he hit, died. That boy had to stay at an in school for bad boys until he turned 18. Once that happened, they shipped him away from me, deportation.
    I think about him from time to time, reminiscing of our past. Now I’m happy for what we had, even though it was short.

  • How To Love Someone You Cannot Hold Onto – Lifestyle Writing
  • nievesdeenero

    Love this…makes me feel better about my love for a certain someone.

  • How To Love Someone You Cannot Hold Onto – nievesdeenero
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