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24 iNtuitive Thinking Women Explain What They Wish The World Understood About NT Females

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When it comes to the distribution of Myers-Briggs personality types, the breakdown of introversion and extroversion, iNtuition and sensing and perceiving and judging is relatively equal across gender. However, 65.5% of women identify as Feeling types in the MBTI system. While intuitive personality types are already significantly rarer than sensing types, intuitive thinking personality types are particularly rare in women – with NT females making up only 7% of the population. This week, I asked iNtuitive thinking women what they wished the rest of the world understood about female NT personalities. Here’s what they had to say.
Benjamin Child
Benjamin Child

1. “Women often get a bad rap for ‘over-thinking things’ while at the same time being characterised as ‘irrational’. This is clearly problematic for all women in society, but as an NT this is especially frustrating. NT women will immediately lose respect for the person who dismisses one of their key strengths, analytical thinking, in this way. If you encounter an analytical women, make sure to respect this side of her, including her ability to explore emotional/psychological areas. If you give her this respect, she might just share her wisdom and teach you more about yourself, women and the world than you thought there was to be taught.” –INTJ, 25

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2. “As gross and high-school as it is to say, we are not like other girls! Literally… there are just fewer of us. This doesn’t mean we are like men and don’t want to be treated like your dudebro friend. We are Rational first but still have feelings. Real ones. And they can get hurt.” –ENTP, 34

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3. “It’s not that we don’t have emotions. In fact, NT females have lots of emotions. It’s just hard to share them, and we look at emotions as barriers to success at times.” –INTJ, 19

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4. “As an INTP woman, I would just like the world to know that we exist and we are interesting. It seems INTP women in particular, over any other NT female, are absent from film and other media. We don’t assert ourselves but we are not weak willed. We don’t control others but we are not easily controlled ourselves. And because the media generally has a simple outlook on women, they want to show either strongly assertive women or strongly submissive women. The INTP is too complicated for either of those roles. But, I am optimistic about people — I hope someone in the media world realizes the audience is ready for INTP women.” –INTP, 24

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5. “I really resent when people make the suggestion that I am actually wired ‘like a man’ or that there is something masculine about my approach. As an ENTP, I feel that people come down on me harder for my weaknesses like details, logistics, etc. than they do with my male counterparts like my INTP husband. Women are not supposed to be spontaneous thinkers, but are supposed to hold all the pieces together and be emotional. This is a frustrating expectation.” –ENTP, 28

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6. “I’d like to let everyone know – especially other NT women out there – that NO, you are not completely heartless and cold like others may say you are, and YES, it’s okay to be you. It’s not like we don’t have feelings, we’re just more comfortable using logic and rationality to view the world as well as make our decisions. Sometimes we’ll do certain actions that might come off as cold to others, but it might be because we have thought deeply about the future consequences, delved into all possibilities, and have finally come to a decision that we believe is best for all. My general takeaway message for everyone is: love the NT women in your lives, stop pressuring them into being ‘feelers’ or anything they aren’t, and let them shine the way they are!” –ENTJ, 22

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7. “As an NT woman, it’s exhausting when everyone expects you to always act warm and friendly and to smile all the time. It’s just not natural for me but women are pressured to project that otherwise we have ‘resting bitch face’ or ‘have an attitude.'” –INTJ, 28

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8. “As an NT woman, many of the stereotypes and descriptions online are quite unfitting. Although I can relate to much of what is said of my type, being raised within the social constructs of society make it hard to identify with the ‘Thinker’ label for women, especially an Intuitive one. I, as well as other NT women I have met, am not as cold, calculating, technical or uncaring as NTs are made out to be descriptive wise. As women, I believe we are encouraged to develop our Feeling function much earlier than men. Men share in this societal based upbringing in that they are encouraged to utilize their Thinking function, and/or to bypass their Feeling function. As a female Intuitive Thinker, it is difficult to discuss or debate theoretical and philosophical principles without people referencing my ’emotions getting the best of me’ or that I’m getting ‘too into it/heated’… Another favorite of mine is that I ‘have no clue what I’m talking about’ (especially engaging with S’s). I can usually laugh it off, because I have to say, I cannot remember the last time I debated a topic and got emotional in the middle of it, or made it personal. I discuss issues/ideas to expand understanding, either my own or another’s – not to emotionally blind side people into agreeing with me. That being said, I wish others understood that NT women are not rigid or ‘bitches’ for caring more about the world of theory/psychology/philosophy/possibilities than about traditional structures, such as being ‘a lady’ who only speaks when spoken to and never challenges the popular opinion. I can’t speak for all NT women, but I would like to be accepted, or at the very least respected, for how I choose to interact in my daily life, no matter how much it differentiates from the ‘ideal.'” –ENTP, 23

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9. “We come off strong but we still feel and care deeply. I care about you and your opinion but expressing those issues don’t always translate in the way others may expect. But I would love for if you call me on it so I can have a chance to better explain.” –ENTJ, 40

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10. “Please understand that we can see right through the crap. We hold the people we love and associate with to a higher stand, and if we think you’re giving or doing less than your best we’ll call you out on it. Also, just because we want to be alone doesn’t mean we’re mad at you, we just want to be alone and recharge. Don’t get offended if we’re not texting you everyday, we just really appreciate uninterrupted alone time.” –INTJ, 19

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11. “A lack of blatant sentimentality does not equate to an absence of empathy.” –ENTP, 68

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12. “Yes, we understand things intuitively and can think quickly on our feet, but don’t let that intimidate you or make you fear us. We want appreciation and love, and your willingness to try and keep us is enough. (Also, we probably know we are a little terrifying and have been told to tone ourselves down our whole lives.)” –ENTP, 22

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13. “We are not heartless or emotionally inept. We understand the feeling too and its not okay to say outright that we can’t actually comprehend feeling. We just think with our brain to get the solution instead of being a drama queen.” –INTP, 20

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14. “You can’t assume that I will act like a ‘typical female.’ Although I have worked hard at becoming more accepting of emotion, it’s still hard work. Most of the time I am logical and into problem solving and deep thinking. Also, don’t assume that if I’m quiet that I’m angry or hurt. If I am, I’ll probably let you know. Quiet just means I’m busy inside my head.” –INTP, 46

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15. “I’m actually very sensitive and caring of others’ feelings. But I may process and display those feelings in my own unique, logical way. You may see me comforting a close friend, but that intj problem-solving stuff is gonna be mixed in there as well. It’s part of how I show I care.” –INTJ, 32

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16. “I’m a deep thinker, and super rational about almost everything. But because I’m such a deep and rational thinker, I’m able to open my mind, see through different perspectives, and understand the world and my loved ones. My Ni helps me out to understand people, on a deeper level and connect with people.” –INTJ, 17

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17. “I wish people would stop expecting me to be feeling driven just because I’m a female.” –INTP, 23

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18. “I wish people would more regularly ask how things are going emotionally. I think it doesn’t happen that often because it’s hard for me to emote (it’s easy to communicate emotion, tertiary Fe ftw, but rarely does the display of emotions communicate my actually demotion; it’s more of a means to get a general idea across than to let anyone know anything about me). Furthermore, I rarely know what’s up with my emotions until it’s too late but I’m forced to focus on it when someone asks, which helps. And, if something is really going on and I’m aware of it and trying to hide it, asking communicates to me that the other person is willing to be there for me, which increases the chances I’ll reach out.” –ENTP, 21

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19. “We are not scary. Those expectations I have of you, I also apply to myself. I am not a hypocrite.” –INTJ, 42

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20. “I understand men are attracted to women they can help or provide for and impress. No matter what I do or say (or don’t do or say), NO men I have ever known has felt compelled to be my true partner – to step up and take over doing anything to make my life easier. In fact, I get the opposite. They expect me to improve their life. It seems men just don’t believe I could ever need help. Ok, I might not NEED it but it would still be nice to experience once in a while.” –INTJ, 45

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21. “Yes we over analyse everything. Yes it is aggravating to us, never lone you. (How many times have i rewritten this comment?) Personally speaking I am constantly struggling with emotions. I have them. I have them all the time, but i am too busy analysing them internally to understand how that presents, or doesn’t, to others. While logic rules my external world, chaos and the edge of insanity rules my internal dialogue. This seemingly immovable dichotomy rules all aspects of my life from work, kids, love and philosophy. I have so much to say and do but don’t have the patience to invest in it. And yet, i am convinced i am just seen as the crazy nerd with a cute smile and constant quizzical look.” –INTP, 36

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22. “I may be an INTP, but I am no unfeeling robot. I can be extremely emotional and irrational at times.” –INTP, 18

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23. “I just wish it was socially acceptable to be an NT. I feel like women are ‘supposed’ to like and be outwardly friendly toward everyone they meet. Just because I don’t warm right up to you or care about making small talk doesn’t mean I am a bitch, and it doesn’t mean I don’t like you. I probably don’t care enough to have an opinion of you right away.” –INTJ, 28

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24. “NT women are caught in a conundrum. There’s the stereotype of the overly emotional woman and a type of dread that lingers around dealing with her emotions, but when confronted by an NT woman – whose primary view of life is not through an emotional lens – our very womanhood is questioned. Some people wonder why women ‘just can’t be more rational/less emotional,’ and then they finally interact with an NT woman and call her ‘frigid’. Women as a whole just can’t seem to win! NT women actually have a surprising level of depth to their emotions; we are still human after all! I find that my natural inclination towards seeking all viewpoints, outcomes and opinions leads me to have an overwhelming sense of understanding of our interconnectedness. I feel very deeply because I have an acute awareness of the effect that just one action can have on an entire group of people or a personal situation. This makes me cautious in social situations, aware of my impact on my loved ones, and provides me with a strong sense of wanting the people in my life to feel complete and fulfilled. I’ll run myself ragged trying to help a close friend or family member accomplish their dreams – and also feel personally responsible if they fail somewhere along the way. (Because of course, I should have seen that problem/hurdle coming, right?)” –INTJ, 31 TC mark

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