There is no way to properly describe the pain of being cheated on. When a relationship ends in infidelity, it makes you question not only your ex-partner but yourself – all of your strengths, your weaknesses and your inadequacies.
It’s easy to bring the baggage of a past relationship into a new one – but it’s not the only option available. When you take the time to properly heal after being cheated on, it can strengthen the way you relate to yourself and to new romantic partners. You experienced through the worst kind of betrayal imaginable and came out the other side – that strength shouldn’t go unacknowledged. And in the right relationship, it won’t.
No matter how broken you felt after being cheated on, you eventually move on from the pain. And once you do, you may find that the way you approach love has changed in ways you didn’t expect. Here are a few things that those of us who’ve been cheated on do differently while dating.
1. Honesty is our number one value.
We don’t want the white lies or sugar coated sentiments. We want cold, hard truth because we don’t want to find ourselves blind sighted later on. If there’s a problem in the relationship, we’re always going to want to address it directly. We know that trust gets built as a team – and we want to build it on a foundation of honesty and open communication.
2. We know how to trust.
It’s easy to assume that anyone who’s been cheated on must have trust issues with all future partners – but this is often the opposite of the truth. We’ve seen firsthand how quickly a lack of trust can deteriorate a relationship – and we don’t want to go down that road again. If we’re with you, it’s because something about you made us feel secure enough to place our trust in you. And we aren’t interested in second-guessing that trust unnecessarily.
3. We’re invested in the health of the relationship.
There’s never a good excuse for cheating – but we do understand that when emotional distance develops between two partners, things tend to go downhill quickly. We make a conscious effort to ensure that we’re on the same page with new partners and that the relationship is a healthy and happy one for all parties involved. If the end is going to come, we want it to come honestly and amicably – not through betrayal or a bitter disintegration of love.
4. We make family and friends a priority.
We love you and we want to spend time with you – but we’re not the type to throw family and friends out the window as soon as we get into a new relationship. When our last relationship fell apart, they were the people who picked us up off the floor and helped us get back on our feet. They were the ones who reminded us what trust and love truly looks like – and we are eternally grateful to them. No matter how deep into a relationship we are, family and friends will never cease to be our top priorities.
5. We know our true strength.
We’ve been through the worst kind of breakup imaginable – one that made us question not only our ex-partner but our own self-image. Getting cheated on messes with your mind, but it ultimately teaches you an incredible form of self-reliance. You learn to separate your self-concept from your need for validation and you come out the other side an infinitely stronger person. One who relies on themselves first and foremost – and one who knows how much strength they truly have, regardless of their relationship status.