You’ll know that someone loves you because they’ll remember the little things about you. They know that you put only half of a sugar in your coffee and that your least favourite time of the week is Tuesday morning. The people who love us collect our entireties in fragments. They want to understand the whole of you and they know that it begins with the tiny, subtle details. You’ll know that someone loves you when you realize they remember things about you that you’ve never explicitly told them and never expected them to know.

You’ll know that someone loves you when they go out of their way for you. They don’t only want to be around you when it’s simple or convenient – they bend and stretch their schedule to accommodate yours. You’ll know someone loves you when they take the day off work to take care of you when you are sick. They will not ask for praise or keep score of their leniencies – they are genuinely happy to see you and that takes precedence over any minor inconvenience incurred by doing so.

You’ll know that someone loves you when they do not make excuses. They aren’t trying to evade you or cover any suspicious tracks. They are upfront about where they’ve been, where they’re going and where they are. They want you to understand that they are human and they’ve made mistakes. They know you’re going to make them, too. But when somebody loves you they don’t make justifications for the ways in which they’ve let you down. They own up to their errors and they try to make things right. They are in it for the both of you, not just for their own sense of pride.

You’ll know that someone loves you when they don’t need you to always be at your best. They’re patient when you’re struggling, encouraging when you’re uncertain and accepting of the fact that you cannot always be at one hundred percent. They want to help you get there but they’re patient with the process. When somebody loves you they do not deny that you have weaknesses. They understand that you are a work in progress and that you cannot always have it all figured out.

You’ll know that someone loves you when they take your side. This doesn’t mean they agree with everything you do but it means that they don’t disappear when it’s time to work through something tough. When someone loves you they share in all your joys and your pains without being asked. You can assume that your triumph is their triumph and your struggle is their struggle. They understand where your boundaries lie and they find a way to support you without losing themselves in the process. You’ll know that someone loves you when you go into every battle with an unspoken backup.

You’ll know that someone loves you when they want what’s truly best for you – not just what is going to make you immediately happy. Someone who loves you is not going to accept all of your arguments or agree with every decision that you make. They know when you are selling yourself short and they aren’t afraid to tell you that they think so. Someone who loves you doesn’t shy away from uncomfortable conversations. They want you to become the best, most fulfilled version of yourself more than they want to always be in your good graces.

You’ll know that someone loves you because they’ll show up to your life. They won’t leave you hanging on to vague implications or wondering what text messages mean. They’ll show up when they say they will. Tell you what you actually mean. Love you in a way that doesn’t leave room for uncertainties or questions. When somebody loves you they want to give you something concrete to hold onto. There are already so many uncertainties in life. Someone who loves you will not ever want to be one of them.