When you date an addict, life is suddenly like a box of chocolates – you never know quite what you’re going to get. That’s because, with an addict, you never know who you’re going to get. Addicts are as unpredictable as they are emotionally unavailable, which is why dating one is never a good idea. Nor is it a good investment of your heart.
When you invest yourself in an addict, you’re unlikely to see any returns on that investment. More than likely, you’ll be left counting your losses and repairing the damage the addict has left in their wake. Rarely does anyone come away from dating an addict unscathed.
An addict is a taker. And an addict will take everything you give them and then some. That’s because an addict hasn’t learned and, therefore, doesn’t know how to sustain themselves from within, so they go looking outside of themselves for anything and anyone that resembles the nourishment they’re lacking. It could be alcohol, marijuana, illicit drugs, sex, porn, work, adrenalin or all of the above. An addict is always in search of the next high to fill the void that is forever haunting them.
No matter what drug they find, nothing and no one is ever enough.
Not for long, anyway. An addict always wants more. They are like an empty bucket that requires constant filling but which is full of holes and can never be filled. An addict is always unsatisfied and constantly on the search for the next best thing. They move from one substance (or person) to the next without so much as a second thought. An addict is always on the hunt.
You don’t necessarily know you’re dating an addict until long after they’re gone. That’s because an addict has mastered the art of the cover-up. They are experts at keeping secrets because their entire life is founded on them. An addict knows exactly what to say to draw you in, and exactly what not to say to keep you hooked. An addict is a master at covering his tracks.
You won’t realise the insanity creeping into your life, along with your mind, until it’s too late. It happens over time; gradually; progressively. Your life, which is usually calm and peaceful, will suddenly be taken over by drama. You’ll find yourself in situations you wouldn’t normally find yourself in, faced with issues you wouldn’t normally be faced with and making excuses wouldn’t normally make. Questions arise as your emotional stability takes a nose-dive.
An addict is a brilliant liar. They have become so proficient at bending, withholding or changing the truth; they don’t even know they’re doing it. This is why when you try to gain some much-needed clarity, you’ll end up even more confused. Or when you attempt to challenge their version of events, you’ll wind up convinced you must be going crazy. The addict will always tell you what you want to hear, even if your intuition is screaming otherwise.
Most of us would rather believe the sweet lie of an addict than the cold, hard truth of our intuition.
An addict is an expert at making you believe that you’re the one with the problem, not them. An addict will tell you that you’re the one who’s crazy; you’re the one who’s insecure; you’re the one who needs help. The chances are, by this stage, you’ll be so consumed by self-doubt that you’ll believe them. An addict is extremely adept at shirking away from all and any responsibility. You, on the other hand, will likely find yourself apologising profusely for everything.
Getting into a relationship with an addict is like getting into bed with the devil. Once you’re in, it can be very difficult to get out. An addict will tell you what you want to hear, but it will never be the truth. That’s because the addict doesn’t know what the truth is; having lost sight of it long ago.
An addict first begins to lie to himself, and then to everyone else. He doesn’t know any other way.
Addicts are runners; master escapists; Houdini’s of the heart. They will run from everything and everyone, including their own emotions and especially everyone else’s. When problems arise, or issues emerge, you’ll be hard-pressed to find an addict present for the occasion. The moment you need support from an addict is the moment they perform their disappearing act.
If you’re lucky, an addict will disappear from your life and never return. If you’re lucky, they will have already moved onto their next drug, having drained you of your worth and value. While this might be hard at first and painful to accept, to have an addict suddenly vanish from your life is the best scenario you could hope for. If you’re lucky enough to have an addict ghost you, that’s the time to start counting your blessings.
After all, it’s only once an addict is out of your life that you can start surveying the damage. Repairs will most certainly need to be made. Addicts leave a trail of destruction in their wake. You’ll be a version of yourself you hardly recognize, left to pick up the broken pieces of your sick and broken self. You can’t do this while an addict is still in your life.
To date an addict is to gamble your heart away.
An addict will take everything you give them, especially your love, but they will never return it. That’s because they can’t. They don’t have it to give. They don’t have anything to give, other than a bit of charm and a lot of hot air. Instead, they live off the love of others. That’s what makes them an addict. And that’s what makes dating them one of the worst investments you can make.