I’ve Been Through Foster Care, And I Turned Out Just Fine
“Are you okay talking about that? I just don’t want to offend you.” – EVERYONE
Truth is, talking about your time in “Foster Care” isn’t on the side of lighter conversation when having dinner, or playing Disk golf, or something. It tends to fall into the deeper, darker conversations you have with a friend who knows you more than just at a surface level. When your parents can’t or don’t take care of you to the point that the government intervenes it pulls at heartstrings. Thus it is not unexpected to get the general reaction of pity.
The question I get the most is “How did you turn out to be so stable? I would have never known.”
Was I supposed to turn out like a loose cannon? Am I supposed to feel abandoned? Mad? …… Scarred?
To be honest, I didn’t feel any of those things.
These are the things my assigned Counselor thought I should have felt as a foster child.
Lost.
Mad.
Betrayed.
Skittish.
Alone.
Resentful.
Disrespected.
The list could go on and on.
When I didn’t show any of these feelings, my “Counselor” insisted on me standing with my nose in the corner until I could dig deep enough to pull one of those sappy, sorry words from some imaginary bag of shame I was suppose to have.
No one person’s story is the same. Not everyone feels like a victim of circumstance. I also am not unaware of the damage that can be done from being taken away from the people that are suppose to be there for you.
I’m not faulted because of my past life.
I don’t carry around a deck of cards that I use to remind myself of who I “should” have been.
Grateful.
That is the word I choose.
Grateful because the life I had to live and the mother that was supposed to love me gave me a new start.
That is something most people would kill for. I used to wish for it all the time.
I just got lucky that my wish came true.