8 Things You’ll Learn From Becoming A Mom At 20

1. Your mother is not your enemy.

I remember finding out I was pregnant and I was excited but at the same time afraid. I was afraid of what my parents — mainly my mother — would say. I was supposed to be done with school, settled into a career, and married before this day was supposed to come. I waited several months to tell my mother I was pregnant. When I decided to she had oddly informed me that she had already known the whole time. She told me she was ecstatic and she was hoping for a girl. Did I really just worry myself sick for 3 months for no reason?

2. Kiss those unforgettable, yet unmentionable, nights bye bye.

What 20-year-old doesn’t enjoy going out with her friends only to forget how she got home the next morning? Pregnancy, however, makes night like those a thing of the past. In the early stages you could get by with going, when there’s not an enormous bulge beneath your shirt. However, who wants to go to the bar, while pregnant, only to envy every person who’s downing shots and turning up long neck bottles? Thanks, but I choose to envy you from my house where Netflix is available.

3. A baby isn’t a guarantee to a “happily ever after” in a relationship.

We were over. Then feelings got out of hand. Getting into the back seat of that Chrysler seemed right. A few weeks later, those two lines appeared. And while that tiny baby forming inside me was a lot, it was not enough to rekindle a romance. After getting pregnant, even the friendship we shared after breaking up went straight to hell.

4. Life doesn’t stop for you.

Stress, fears, and worries got to me. How can I raise a baby? Will I die while giving birth? Will I be a single mother? There are so many thoughts and feelings that take over your mind, you just want to hit the pause button on life to collect yourself before going on. Too bad that’s not an option. Life wasn’t slowing down. In nine months, I was going to be responsible for another human. I couldn’t slow down time or stop it all together — it doesn’t work that way. All I could do was try to keep myself together and prepare for bringing another life into the world.

5. People weren’t lying when they said giving birth was hell.

I never imagined myself pregnant; that thought quickly leaped from my mind when I found myself looking in the mirror and seeing my entirely-too-large belly peeking out from under my shirt. The drive to the hospital to give birth to my daughter was perfect; I was calm, cool, and collected. Having friends and family stop by to say hello while I was in labor was great. Everything was perfect, pain free and feeling great. Then contractions hit hard, and they hurt something awful. Pain medicine, please! Twenty seven hours tick by and still no baby. Doctor finally decides to come by to pay a visit and c-section it is. Being cut open, sewed back up, having limited pain medicine, and taking care of a newborn afterwards? The struggle was real.

6. Sleep is something to cherish.

Before getting pregnant and having my daughter, I could stay out all night, sleep an hour, and do it the next day. I mean sleep is for the weak, right? No! Wrong! Caring for a newborn isn’t easy business, especially when you’re in pain the first week or two. Sleep was something of the past. What you once took for granted is now one of your all-time favorite privileges.

7. My daughter is the best part of me.

I wanted a little boy when I first found out I was expecting a bundle of joy. Luckily, God gave me what I needed rather than what I wanted. I couldn’t imagine my life with any baby other than mine. She’s not even two months old, yet she’s taught me so much already. She is the reason I’m still standing on my own two feet and pushing myself to be better and give this life my all. She has become such an inspiration and motivation to me.

8. Life doesn’t have a redo button, and I’m okay with that.

Life is full of shocking surprises, tragic misfortunes, lots of laughs, lots of tears and, every once in awhile, a blessing. Having my daughter was my blessing. I stop to think of how different I was living this time a year ago and I just smile. Yeah it was easier and yeah it was fun and stress free. Yet I wouldn’t go back if you paid me. I wouldn’t want to change any aspect of my life. Each and every tear, mistake, heartbreak, laugh, relationship, breakup, wrong turn, and unfortunate event led me to where I am today. If I went back in time and changed any little thing at all, I could be a totally different person than I am right now. I could still be living that party lifestyle. I could not have a care in the world. I could stay up all day and all night, only to wait to repeat it the next day. But I don’t want that. I love where I stand today. I love who I am and I love the little girl who helped form me into this person. I love when she wakes up throughout the night because I get to see that little face. I love how I can see my future so much better when I look into her eyes. I wouldn’t trade the sleepless nights for a vacation away from her. I wouldn’t trade changing all the dirty diapers for being able to get so wasted that I wake up covered in my own vomit. I wouldn’t do anything different, and I couldn’t imagine being anywhere but here. I’m only 20 years old — I’m young, but I’m capable of parenting my sweet daughter. I LOVE BEING A MOMMY!