It’s 3:00 PM. You’re interview is at 3:30. You have tried on everything in your closet and are now running around in your underwear with anxiety induced tear streaked cheeks thinking of a thousand-and-two fake excuses to get out of this interview.
It’s 2 AM. You’re lonely. You really like this girl, but you don’t want to ruin it with her by moving too quickly and booty-calling, so you call your ex instead for a late night “cuddle”.
Your professor brings up an internship in Germany. You’ve always wanted to travel, but you question your abilities, and decide not to apply.
You’re the one slamming doors in your own face, locking the door, and swallowing the key and then complaining about the lack of air and life within that room. Why? Because you don’t believe in yourself. Questioning yourself, your decision, and your self happiness is the epitome of self sabotage, and I think we can all relate, at some point, to the examples above. Let’s end this.
Here’s some steps I found helpful in my journey outside of the self-made box.
1. Find a window
Okay, now that we’ve gotten ourselves here, let’s figure out how to get out. There will always be road blocks- let’s just try not to make those road blocks ourselves, shall we? Look at the positive of the situation your in, because let’s be honest, there will always be issues if you’re looking for them, but what comes with one negative are a whole lot more positives, you just have to look for them. Focus on what you learned from the situation and choose to make the following steps to not reoccur the self sabotage.
Ever heard the quote “fake it till you make it?” Live by it. You may not know everything, but you’re capable. Learn. Be confident in the fact that you have unlimited possibilities, and given the chance, will pursue. You’re capable of being anything you’d like. If you’d like to be the best for the job, work for it. If you want the girl, don’t go for the other. Be happy with yourself to not need someone to make you less lonely at night. Want the travel internship? Try. How will you ever know if you don’t. Confidence in yourself and who you’d like to be will keep your head clear from the easy ways out.
3. Self Worth
This goes hand in hand with confidence, but in this case, it needs to be real. You’re capable of getting the job, the girl, or whatever you’re wishing for, as long as you apply yourself, but first, you have to have a foundation. Know your worth. Tell yourself (you’re probably thinking I’m crazy, but I’m serious.) Tell yourself that you’re pretty, you’re strong, you’re capable, you’re smart, and you’re deserving until you believe it. And my hell, you are deserving of those things, so start believing it.
4. Apply yourself
Apply yourself in areas that count. Trying something and failing doesn’t label you are a failure. If anything, it labels you as a go-getter, just don’t be labeled as a quitter (especially before it even begins.) Try. There aren’t short cuts. Learn. Learn from not only mistakes, but successes. You can try one-hundred times and fail all hundred; but does that make you any less? No. Try some more. You’re worth it, and so is the thing you’re trying to achieve. Push yourself, and watch your comfort zone grow. Plus, will you have a real appreciation for the road to get there if it wasn’t a little bumpy? You’ll get there.
Life doesn’t need to be as complicated as we make it. Just remember, if you find yourself in a room where the door was locked and slammed in your face, and the keys were swallowed, don’t be the one who sits and cries in the middle of the floor. Be the one who invents a universal key out of scraps on the floor. There’s always a way out. You just have to believe you can find it, and apply yourself. You can do it.