Applying For A Job Is Just Like Adolescent Dating

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I recently interviewed for a job that I really want. It’s with a contemporary company that has a trendy and youthful brand image, it’s in an industry that I feel I would enjoy working in for the foreseeable future, and it is much more exciting than the data entry jobs that recruiters are hounding my LinkedIn page with. I got up early and put on “real” clothes, tights and heels included, and took a crowded commuter train into the city. I walked through snow and reviewed notes like a study guide before I went in.

That was Wednesday. I was interviewed by two women in their mid-to-late 20s in a trendy setting, so it was a pretty comfortable atmosphere. I get notoriously nervous before anything, but I am a great speaker, so as long as I’m a little prepared I’m pretty confident. I fielded questions about the position and my undergrad life like a pro. I even found a way to make a personal connection and we really hit it off. I was given positive feedback like “I think you’re very eloquent” and “I really appreciate your enthusiasm and drive”. They told me I was creative minded and that they really needed that in their office. However, being straight out of college, I don’t have a ton of experience and none specific to this particular position.

I know what kind of person I am. Like many of my peers I can be really lazy, but when it comes to work I pour myself in and learn quickly. I have a brain; my life is not Stephanie Pratt v. Label Maker. These girls had never met me, so I can’t blame them for seeing me as that annoying virgin girl that hung onto Carrie Bradshaw’s every word in the Hamptons. They had been interviewing people with a lot of relevant experience, so I guess at the very least I can thank my personality for keeping me in the running. They asked me to do an “assignment” of sorts so they could better evaluate my abilities, and we would “take it from there.”

I sent thoughtful follow-up emails to each of them, and their responses reiterated that they really liked me. I completed my homework and sent it off by its Friday due date. It is now Tuesday, and I know that it’s only been a couple business days, but I am anxious to leave my unemployed days behind me. I need to know If I’ve made the cut or not, but emailing now would be like admitting that I’m the one that cares more.

It’s just like all those rules you have to follow when you’re trying to get that boy to like you freshman year of high school. Make yourself up; look pretty, look mature. Show him your amazing qualities without bragging. Feel incredibly proud of yourself when he compliments you, but internalize it because obviously you’re too cool to actually care. Hope he’ll understand that even though you’ve only given half a handjob that one time, you’re willing and able to learn what he likes. Freak out when he asks you to get ice cream with him after the game on Friday. Drive yourself insane running through EVERYTHING you said and did over and over again, because you clearly did something wrong if he hasn’t texted you all weekend. God forbid you text him first though, because even so much as a “heyy ” makes you seem desperate and over-eager.

Unfortunately, “high school never ends” isn’t just an obnoxious Bowling for Soup song. TC mark

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