Some days I struggle with checking-in with myself.
I enjoy being busy, I don’t mind a good challenge and I’ve accepted the fact that it’s hard for me to balance out my struggles with perfectionism and self-grace. I have a habit of putting my personal needs on the back burner sometimes to meet a crucial writing deadline, complete a creative project or continuously reach a certain level of progression. But it works for me.
I also enjoy my own company and finding new ways of falling in love with myself.
I don’t always eat a well-balanced breakfast, my boxing schedule hasn’t been as consistent as I’d like and studying for the GRE has only increased my anxiety.
Some days are better than others.
Diligently and strategically, making time for self-care and self-indulgence is in there somewhere.
Have you ever felt like you are caught in your own personal tornado? The wind slowly picks up abundantly over time and you are just trying to find shelter – well I have.
Learning how to cope with change, growth, heartbreak and life transitions there have been times where I’ve felt like I haven’t had any shelter or time to stop, rest and think. I’ve learned a long time ago, the world does not stop spinning for one person and that mindset has even caused me to ignore some of my own current challenges.
Our timelines have recently been filled with statements such as “check on your strong friend” and a plethora of other personal opinions about mental health, entertainment and the current state of our nation. I’ve become overwhelmed with just opening the social media apps sometimes.
Sometimes, the strong friend struggles with checking-in with themselves.
I consider myself a happy friend. I consider myself a creative friend. I consider myself a strong friend even. I consider myself all these things, yes.
Well, when you’ve been all things to other people and organizations and you often feel as though your accomplishments and self-celebrations don’t matter, speaking for only myself – you learn how to cope and often times keep it moving without even thinking about burdening someone else with your issues.
I’m the hardest on myself and often when people check-in on me, I lie.
“I’m doing fine.”
It’s not a self-pity party or a means to say that I don’t appreciate the support or attempt. But most recently, I’ve realized that some people’s words have done more harm than help.
I’d rather you not check on me at if all you are going to do is guilt trip me with statements centered on why you haven’t heard from me in a while. Withdrawing for me allows me to re-center, re-focus and align my attention.
I’ve had people upset at me for not being readily available when they’ve wanted me to be, continuously explaining the nature of my work is exhausting and the overall concept of not being able to enjoy the act of being selfish in a healthy way without feeling bad for it is a headache.
I can admit that I’ve become so wrapped up in my superwoman status (and being okay with it) and not truly factoring other people into my free time and solely being busy with personal projects that I’ve failed to “check-in.”
I mean, checking in with myself.
who may struggle with looking in the mirror and “checking-in” with themselves. Those who may be challenged with balancing out protecting their personal peace but still showing others that they care.
As a creative, an educator, a woman and simply human – I’m continuously going through my own personal journey of growth, healing and transition. I’m not going to get it perfect the first time and that’s okay.
Life happens, we become busy and get caught in our personal tornadoes that sometimes we forget to check in with ourselves.