Moving in with your significant other is a major life step. It’s only natural that in taking such a big leap of faith, there are going to be challenges you tackle that you never would have expected. With these challenges, are also realizations about the marriage of your habits. You’ll learn things about not only yourself, but also your relationship, that you never would have imagined.
1. You’re a bed hog
The first time I slept over at my boyfriend’s apartment, I asked him which side of the bed he preferred. Three seconds later, my heart broke: we liked the same side. What would I do? I liked this person and wanted to seem hospitable, but I also had my preferences and knew I wouldn’t sleep well on the left. At first, I surrendered and bit the bullet. I tossed and turned all night on the left side of the bed, angry and resenting the fact he picked MY side.
Fast forward to us moving in, I now have the right side of the bed…and the middle. He gets a corner on the left side. I don’t remember when I gave up the courtesy of letting him have the right side, but my best guess would be the second sleepover. Now, after three months of living together, he doesn’t even get a whole side. I have no shame. I like to sprawl out, and he has to deal with it.
2. You learn very quickly that if one of you can’t cook, you need to learn
An expectation I had when moving in with my boyfriend was that we’d have nights where we’d stay in and cook. About a week in, we both realized we couldn’t cook. I’d like to say we learned, but we haven’t. Our wallets pay the price, as any time we need a meal, we’re often eating out. Having someone cook makes a relationship a lot less financially stressful, which is one thing we still need to learn.
3. The toilet seat will never be down. Ever.
If I had a nickel for every time I asked my boyfriend to put the seat down, I could probably buy an automatic toilet to do it for him. I have no idea what it is that he cannot remember to do it, but every night when I wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, I face the fear of falling into the toilet. There’s no hope.
4. You forget to see other people
You move in with your boyfriend because you love them and they’re your best friend. This is a wonderful thing, but also leads to a lack of socialization. I can have plans with friends, and he’ll be off from work, so we’ll end up staying in binge watching How I Met Your Mother. My friends will joke that I disappeared when we moved in together, but they’re not wrong. It’s important to take that time apart and build relationships with friends, too.
5. You’ll realize you both have extremely annoying habits
Everyone has a habit they may know about subliminally, but it generally gets ignored. For some, it’s nail biting. For others, it’s not doing the dishes. For my boyfriend, it’s chewing loudly. When you’re just starting to date someone, you’re on your best behavior, always micromanaging what you’re doing. However, as you start to get to know someone, you become more comfortable with one another. It’s great to be your true self, but with this comes showing everything. Your partner will pick up on your annoying habits, and they’ll tell you out of love to cut it out or else you sleep on the couch.
6. The laundry won’t get done until one of you runs out of clothes. And it’ll be him, because you steal his clothes
I hate doing laundry. It’s not just the washing, but also the drying, and then the fact it has to be put away. Unfortunately, my boyfriend also hates doing laundry. This means it doesn’t get done until one of us runs out of clothes. Much to his dismay, he’s the one who wakes up and realizes he has no shirts because I wore them to bed all week. Sorry, not my fault they’re more comfortable than mine!
7. If you need something, you have to ask him 2-3 times
Living with your boyfriend is great, because if you need something, they’re available to get it for you. What I’ve realized, though, is men do not pay attention. I’ll ask my boyfriend to look at something for me, and I’ll have to ask him 2-3 times. It’s not until I get up and put away what I was asking for where he’ll say “I was just gonna do it!” No, you weren’t. Go back to not paying attention.
8. After a while, you’ll stop attending to the same beauty routine
In the initial courting phase, women are expected to look a certain way. We do our hair, do our makeup, and pick out nice outfits to impress them. Once you live with someone, it’s very easy for this to fall to the wayside. You spend hours every day with someone, so you don’t feel a need to impress him anymore. They see you in the morning without makeup, at night after you shower and look like a wet dog, and everything in between. Your normal routines will fall to the wayside in lieu of comfort. This is ok, as long as you remember to dress up and impress them every now and then to keep that magic alive.
9. You eventually have to poop in the same place they do
It’s important to keep the romance alive, but there comes a point where you’re going to have to poop. You can deny it all you want, but you will. You can try to hide it with air freshener and running the sink, but eventually, they’ll pick up on what you’re doing. It’s ok – everyone does it.
10. Falling asleep and waking up next to him will be the best part of your day
No matter how hard of a day I have at work, I know I get to go home to my best friend and tell them about the day I had. No matter how early I have to wake up for work, I know I’ll wake up next to him, and I’ll be able to cuddle before a long day. There is nothing I look forward to more in a day than these moments.