I’ll Always Wonder About The Life I Could Have Had

Utomo Hendra Saputra

It wasn’t instant, I know, I’ve seen it before,

I’ve felt it before, but ignored it,

Just like before,

It was slow but the effect was heavy.

It was like a thousand ton was suddenly put on my shoulders,

Unable to move forward unless I removed it

And I couldn’t.

It made my feet heavy and unsteady,

My body unresponsive,

My mind was not listening to me.

It was like shouting at a reflection on the mirror

When you know that only the real one can move.

But even so, you continue to shout

Hoping that one day,

Your voice would finally be heard

So that you could finally be free

From yourself.

But for now, you’ll just sit and wonder

About the life

You used to have

And wanted back. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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