To The One Who Calms My Demons

Christal Yuen

I write these words in my mind as you run your fingers through my hair. Every stroke calms me. That’s what you do, you calm me and my inner demons. You silence them with your gentleness and your warmth. Your presence gives me peace, which was the only thing I desperately needed a few months back.

You came into my life unexpectedly. I didn’t ask for you yet you arrived with all your brokenness and vulnerability, mirroring what I was. And to my surprise, I let you in and let go of my defenses and so far, I’m glad I did for my days stopped becoming black and blue.

I don’t know how all of this would go or how long are we going to stay in each other’s lives, how long are we supposed to stay for each other but while we’re at it, I want to let you know how thankful I am for having someone as beautiful as you. You are as warm as sunshine, the kind of warm that hits you a few minutes after sunrise, not too much therefore not hurting. The kind of warm that pierces right through the soul and makes you want to close your eyes. The kind that makes you glad to be alive.

It amazes me how despite your brokenness, you are still able to radiate kindness and positivity not just to me but to the people around you. In this world full of people who use their pain as an excuse to hurt others, you choose love and that alone is enough to make you worth keeping.

I could only imagine the amount of love and light that you can share to this world had you not been profoundly hurt by life. But we both know that’s not something we have a hold of.

So while we’re at it, while we’re at this, allow me to bask in your warmth as I share what is left of mine. Let me experience and unravel this soul that God has given me.

And should the day arrive when God would ask me to let go of you, I would. And I know it would hurt like hell but what is hell compared to clinging on to what’s not meant for you.

But for now, let me lay in your arms where I find safety and listen to your heartbeat as the rain softly falls outside. Allow me to live in the now, which is us. Allow me to live in peace which is by your side. TC mark

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