To My First Love: I’m So Grateful I Had The Privilege To Love You

I love you so much and as Augustus once told Hazel Grace, “It is a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”
Jared Sluyter

I do not know if I’ll ever be ready for the day that I will find out that you’ve found someone new. I do not know if I’ll ever be ready for the day that I will find out that you’ve finally settled down. I do not know if I’ll ever be ready for the day that I see you carrying your child and not ours.

You see, I wanted to spend the rest of my lifetime with you. I imagined us sending our first born to college and how we’ll look at each other’s eyes wondering where did time go. I imagined us witnessing the physical transformation of one another, from hair to skin. I imagined us sitting on the front porch of our house, the same house that you promised me when we were still together. The same house that was supposed to be our home.

You are my first true love and I am glad that you are.

My soul will always remember the day you told me you love me and of how we spent the glory days of our love kissing and loving each other, not knowing one day soon, all of it will eventually end.

My soul will always remember the day I first saw you, skateboarding and eating chips. Those lazy afternoons spent talking over the phone where sometimes you’d sing to me the old punk rock song we both love. I don’t know if you still remember this but on our first date, you held my hand. Your hands were sweaty but I did not mind because the butterflies in my stomach have went up my mind, secretly driving me mad. I remembered thinking to myself that I have finally found my first love.

So my love, thank you. Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for all the good and the bad times that we shared. Thank you for allowing me to love you wholeheartedly. I have loved you with all my heart and soul, in ways I know how. You made me realize that I am capable of loving that much and maybe, just maybe, I am still capable to love more than that.

You were worth all of it. And if I have to do it all over again, I would. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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