If there’s one thing this year has taught me is this life is full of goodbyes. It took a while for me to understand that this is just how the way it is. “That’s life,” as most of us would say.
And sometimes, you say goodbye without actually saying goodbye. You say goodbye gracefully, like it was your first honest hello.
So here I am saying goodbye to you, one last final time.
I say goodbye to the happiness you gave me. To the days where I found myself genuinely happy because I had someone who loved me unconditionally.
I say goodbye to that one sunny afternoon where we first kissed. When you lovingly looked me in the eyes right after that and told me how much you loved me, and kissed me again.
I say goodbye to the promise you made that you will always love me no matter what. That you will keep fighting for us. I say goodbye to the promise you made that I, forced you to break.
I say goodbye to the regrets I have for ruining us. I say goodbye to the hopes that someday, we will see each other again and patch things up.
I say goodbye to the blaming game, thinking it was all my fault. We had our fair share of wrongs. But maybe it was never an issue of who ruined who or who ruined what. Maybe it was just not meant to be. Maybe it was just a blessing that God allowed us to experience so we have things to think and smile about, maybe make us a little bit nostalgic, when we get old and see our grandkids venture into young relationships.
I hope to God it is because truthfully, you will become one of the love stories that I will tell my kids and grandkids about someday. Of that one beautiful love that went away and never meant to return and how that shouldn’t make them sad. That it should make them grateful and most of all, faithful to the truth that when God closes a door, a window opens.
I know someday we will inevitably see each other again. I hope that day comes with peace. I hope when I see you, I have finally accepted that some good things don’t last.
So I’m leaving you in 2016, in the past where you belong. I’m leaving you along with the hang ups and unanswered questions.
In 2017, I will continue to move forward. Less of you, and more of me.