This Is When I Want To Meet You

I know most of us don’t have a say on when we get to meet The One that we’ve been looking for but just in case the Universe notices this, this is my plea on when I want to meet you.

I want to meet you when I have already accepted everything about myself especially my complexity. I want to meet you when I have fully learned and understood that my soul is strong enough to accommodate all of life’s sorrow and joy, chaos and peace.

I want to meet you when I can no longer dare to blame myself in case things go wrong. Admittedly, there were times that I was the problem because that was the truth and I humbly took the blame. But I don’t want to blame and take blames anymore. I want to meet you when we’re mature enough to realize that relationships, in order to grow healthy, require consistency and hard work from both parties. And a healthy relationship is not an avenue for pointing fingers.

I want to meet you when I can finally live up to the challenge and reality that love is a decision. I have to make sure that I am that person you need, someone who will always choose to love you even at your most unlovable state and that kind of person that I am yet to be needs to gather up some more strength and courage.
That kind of person still needs to work more on choosing to love herself every day before she becomes the person you need her to be.

I want to meet you when my secrets no longer scare me, when I can finally tell them all to you because my heart knows they will be safe with you and that you will never use them against me because you know they have already destroyed me in the most quiet and destructive way.

I want to meet you when I have made peace with the pains of the past and past itself and when I have finally put all of them to bed and I can finally see and breathe life peacefully.

Lastly, I want to meet you when you’re strong enough to love me.

I want you, no, I need you to be strong enough to accept that I still haven’t got my life figured out, and I may never do. I need you to be strong enough to accept that there will be days that I will be very difficult to love, you’ll have a hard time looking at my face. When this day comes, I want you to know that I’ll be twice as strong as you are for you.

I need you to be strong enough to love me in spite of me and it won’t make you love me any less.

I want to meet you when the Universe is ready for the love we are about to unleash for each other because it’s going to be a once in a lifetime kind, the kind that transcends our once sorrowful lives.

Or you can meet me now and we’ll figure all these things out heart by heart.