I Ghosted My Best Friend (And I Don’t Care)

woman standing in front of brick wall
Nilton Oliveria

I just needed a break. I needed to be me, without you, and then it became that I didn’t need you anymore.

Best friends. That’s what we were, right? We were each other’s person because we needed a person. But, I don’t need a person anymore—I am my own person now.

It was easier than I thought to not talk to you. It was easy for me to go about with my day without talking to you and sharing with you. I got coffee on my own, I went to the store solo, and I put my phone away so I could be present.

It wasn’t intentional, it just happened. Then you called—said we should catch up and hang out. Sure, it’ll be just like old times.

It’s not.

I feel like I’m drowning, I can’t process my thoughts and you’re suffocating me. I’ve grown up; I don’t think you have. All you want to do is talk about your problems; I don’t have any. You want to reminisce about the past; I just want to enjoy the moment.

It may have been less than six months since I last saw you, but I feel like a different person and you’re painfully the same. I realize that’s what we were; friends who help each other, friends that talk about our problems—I was your personal therapist.

I can’t be that person anymore.

You call again, and I just choose to forget to call you back. You text, seeing how things are; I “didn’t get the message.”

It’s completely different; I’m completely different. There is nothing that you can do for me that I can’t do for myself.

It’s now the awkward happy birthday texts, the wishing a happy holiday—there is nothing else to say. I wish you well; hope that you have found your best self as I have mine.

There’s no rhyme or reason, we don’t have an exact date that it all went down or a definitive end point—it’s just over. When people ask me what happened, or comment that they haven’t seen you around in a while, I nod and just say I hope you’re well—that we just drifted apart. It’s easier this way.

It’s easier to just say you and an old friend grew apart, rather than entertaining the explanation that I just needed to remove myself from you.

Spending all your time with someone is exhausting. You start to question if you are your own person without them and once people start referring to you as a package deal—game over. Get rid of them, move on, run away—whatever way you know how.

Ghost them. Save their feelings, save your breath, and just run.

Some relationships aren’t meant for a lifetime, but they can be a valuable lesson. Not everyone is meant for forever, but for just right now. You change, your priorities change, your values change, and your friendships change.

It’s okay. I’m okay. TC mark

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