It’s the end of the night, you’re getting ready to tackle the mountain of sale tees that has had everyone pulling their hair out all day—you just want to make it look pretty for the morning crew. And then: a group of obnoxious teenagers, three girlfriends, a ton of children, grandparents—EVERYONE walks in. Please no, I just want to go home on time.
1. You’re going to be bombarded with “are you finding everything alright?” or “can I help you find something specific?” because you better believe this is not the time for leisure shopping
2. I will give you a dirty look when you mess up the PERFECTLY folded t-shirt table that took me the entire night to finish while everyone else was riffling through them—thanks so much
3. Why must you try on 25 different shirts? And proceed to give your boyfriend a fashion show as to which he doesn’t care so you’re really just wasting everyone’s time here
4. No, we don’t have anything in back
5. If you ask me to get something off a manikin for you and you try it on but then leave it behind as you walk out when the mall closing announcement is going off—I will hate you
6. Better yet, if you want something off a mannequin and it is closing time—just buy it and return it tomorrow because that was a HUGE waste of my time
7. If I tell you we are closing in five minutes, that doesn’t mean you bring 50 dresses into a fitting room with your bestie and have a photo shoot
8. Please don’t question every price while making your final purchase—it’s all clearance and I promise you won’t spend more than $100
9. When we finally do complete the last transaction of the night, that doesn’t mean you can spot something on the way out and run back up to buy it—sorry drawers are gone, you should be too
10. “Let me know if you need help finding something, we’ll be closing in ten minutes” does not mean I am your personal shopper in the fitting room—I’ve got other things to be doing
11. Don’t ask me to call another store and ask if they have an item for you, because they’re closing too and you won’t get there in time.
12. At lease acknowledge you’re being annoying by walking through those doors as I’m trying to shut them or that you’re transaction has caused us to stay open an extra ten minutes—it’s much more likely I won’t want to kill you if you at least know that what you’re doing is rude. Ignorance is not cute
13. I promise you, we will be open tomorrow—no need to exhaust all of your options tonight.