Yom Kippur is the holiest day in the Jewish calendar, wherein we atone for our sins and ask God to forgive us. No working (yay), no eating (boo), and lots of praying and reflecting on the people we were last year and how to be better versions of those people this year. In no particular order, here are my list of apologies for 2016.
1. I’m sorry for being late.
2. I’m sorry for the occasional blip – leaving a cardigan or my phone somewhere, thinking I had made a reservation when I hadn’t, forgetting my social security card at home when I went to change my address on my driver’s license. I’m sorry for wasting time beating myself up over these things instead of just letting them go.
3. I’m sorry for thinking I was too smart or didn’t have the time to read the directions.
4. I’m sorry for the times I snapped at my family because I was stressed about something that had nothing to do with them. I’m sorry they get the brunt of my moodiness because they love me unconditionally, and that I take advantage of that.
5. I’m sorry for passing judgment when I should’ve approached a situation, or individual, with open-mindedness and compassion.
6. I’m sorry for the times I made things competitive. All along I was only competing against myself, because I was insecure and acting defensive.
7. I’m sorry for the times I showed up to something without fully “showing up.”
8. I’m sorry for taking shit when I should’ve said something.
9. I’m sorry for not standing up for someone when I should have.
10. I’m sorry for all of the time spent on my phone and email and social media and fixating on the fact that other people are watching me live out my life.
11. I’m sorry for the times I resorted to bringing someone else down to bring myself up, and for taking pleasure in mean-spirited and or unproductive gossip.
12. I’m sorry I didn’t slow down and read over that email before I sent it.
13. I’m sorry that I let a boy dictate my own feelings of self-worth.
14. I’m sorry for the days that I didn’t give 100% at work or in an exercise class/run or to my clients.
15. I’m sorry for ordering in when I could’ve made dinner.
16. I’m sorry for the days I missed my (daily) morning journaling practice.
17. I’m sorry for giving into peer pressure and doing things that I actually didn’t want to do at all.
18. I’m sorry for being too hard on myself.
19. I’m sorry for getting in my own way.
20. I’m sorry for not saying “I don’t know,” and pretending I knew instead.
God, or the universe, or Brian Weiss’ Masters, or all-encompassing nothingness – whatever is out there! I hope you can forgive me. I’m working on forgiving myself (see #s 2, 18, 20).