1. Thou Shalt Not Feel Any Sort Of Negative Stigma For Having Met Online
It’s no longer 2005. Wear your website proud.
Those who look at you a weird way if you mention your online dating prowess are either (a. in the 1% percent of beautiful and haven’t done anything normal people do anyway, or (b. are phenomenally insecure. Almost always, this will be the latter.
2. When Courting, Thou Shalt Wait A Few Hours Before Responding To Texts.
It’s been established that we can’t be too overeager, particularly early on. While it’s a weird social protocol, it helps us distinguish the stalkers and crazies from the level-headed bachelors.*
*Make this work both ways. If you’re looking for someone who brazenly defies social norms, someone who texts you back in 5 minutes might have just be your match.
3. Post Brekaup, Thou Shalt Stay Out Of their Digital Lives.
If you need to block or defriend for whatever reason, do so.
One of the worst aspects of the digital age in terms of the dating game is that we can literally track our exes progress post breakup; how they’re feeling, what they’re doing, if they’ve met everyone else.
A lot of us know how easy it is to let this sort of thing consume you. Take the necessary precautions.
4. Thou Shalt Respect Thy Neighbor’s Tinder Intentions.
We’re noticing a slight problem with Tinder, insofar as what we’re looking for vs. what they’re looking for. Some want nothing more than mindless sex; others are looking for something a little more substantial.
Whatever you joined Tinder to do, keep doing it. Just be aware that some of your matches may have something else in mind, an intention they assumed has been made clear via being on the app. It shouldn’t be to difficult to figure out what they want, as long as you use the great human power of communication. Then, proceed accordingly.
5. Thou Shalt Split Thy Bill On The First Date.
As a rule of thumb. If you guys met online, this should always apply.
There are of course circumstances that may prove to be exceptions, but if this is 2014 and we’re going for the full 50/50 split, that split should also involve the bill.
6. Thall Shalt Never Slut-Shame.
If anyone needs a good slut-shame, it’s probably the male race. But arguing back just for the sake of arguing back seems not only counterintuitive, but progress prohibiting.
Sex is nice. Sex is great. We can all be comfortable with what we do with our bodies. Our choices on are really no one else’s business. It’s that simple!
7. Thou Shalt Carefully Manage Thy Internet Relationship With Thy Significant Other’s Siblings/Family.
Just like in real life, getting too close to their siblings can have some weird negative consequences.
One of my close friends is currently mired in a situation where his ex-girlfriend and sister constantly write on each other’s Facebook walls, and frequently interact online right in his face. The whole thing seems like a situation that shouldn’t be happening.
8. If Meeting Someone Online, Thou Shalt Meet Them As Soon As Possible.
2013 proved that waiting awhile to meet them may result in never meeting them at all, due to their lack of existence.
While getting sucked into a Spike Jonze-type fantasy relationship seems weirdly compelling on a human level (you get to control the relationship), the con is that you have no relationship at all.
If they’re not looking to meet as soon as possible, sign off and never return.
9. Thou Shalt Not Overplay Thy Hand.
Going back to my freshman year economics lecture, scarcity is one of the biggest drivers of demand.
In that vein, you probably don’t want to be overtexting, making ambiguous Facebook statuses about how happy you are, or any sort of activity that eliminates all spontaneity from the courtship.
One of the pitfalls of meeting in the digital age, specifically online dating, is that you’re already at a disadvantage in that vein. Therefore, it’s very important to preserve that aesthetic of unpredictability as much as possible.
10. Thou Shalt Not Put Thy Relationship Status On Facebook.
This day and age, I think we can all agree that the engagement photos, wedding announcements, and baby pictures are more than enough.