A week went by since I had posted on the alumni page, and then I got a message from a guy that used to live in the dorm next to mine named Matt. Matt private messaged me asking if I found any leads about the song. I told him no. He told me that he had nothing but bad memories about that song. Here are his messages verbatim (*NOTE: Paul was his dorm roommate):
“yea dude I haven’t heard that song since that year… I remember paul would always crank it up in the room. I can’t remember how it went, but I remember it was kinda unusual and not a typical pop song, but everyone loved it. I couldn’t stand it. Paul REALLY loved it tho, he was always humming it. And then one day, I never heard the song again, and Paul was acting totally strange. He was always partying and outgoing and shit but around that time he got super depressed. One day I asked him what was up, and he said that he couldn’t get the song out of his head and that it’s gone forever now and he’ll never be able to hear it again. Idk if you know now dude, but Paul is still not doing so well, he’s got no job, no girl, hardly ever talks to anyone… I message him every now and then and he just says how he misses 2008 when life was good. I told him to see a shrink, but he says that won’t help, he just needs ‘something new to listen to’. He’s a part of that alumni group, and I know he’s seen your post, and I’m worried he’s gonna snap dude. Can you talk to him?”
I messaged Paul soon after, asking him how he was.
Me: “hey paul! Long time no see man. How you doing?”
Paul: “SAL!!!!! Yooooo! Good to hear from you”
Me: “how’ve you been bud?”
Paul: “I’m okay, just trudging along as always.”
Me: “that’s good!”
Paul: “I saw what you put on [the alumni page]. Dude…that song was my life. I miss it so much, I cant believe it’s gone.”
Me: “Well I’m sure someone can find it!”
Paul: “Nah man…it’s gone. That’s how the world is, things come and go. SI made a song that was alive, and now it’s dead. Man I miss it. Those were the days”
Me: “? Uh…”
Paul: “I know im actin weird, Matt always says I need to get some help but I dont. I just need to hear the song again, and it sucks knowing I never will.”
Freaked out, I stopped talking about the song after that and just resumed making small talk with him until we both signed off. The next evening, not even 24 hours later, I come home from work to see people posting on Paul’s Facebook wall with “R.I.P.” and all sorts of condolences; Paul killed himself that day. I was horrified to hear that he had done it by stabbing himself in the face multiple times.
