To fall in love is a frightening experience. It is sudden, your knees lose their strength, the ground beneath you gives way, leaving you with nothing to cling to. And so, you fall. You try to stop yourself, to say that this should not be happening, that you never let yourself fall astray. You must grasp control now before anything might happen.
At the same time, there is something pulling you towards that person, so magnetic, powerful, electric. It is not a fall at all, but rather feels like you have been strapped into a space rocket, destined for the stars.
But, this is not right. I cannot go to the stars. How will I ever get back?
You see the stars in her eyes, they burn bright with light and fire. You see the person for who they really are, you see them as a divine being and you are aware of the love and attention that they deserve.
And it goes back, as a matter of fact, to extremely fundamental things. That there is always a curious tie at some point between the fall and the creation. Taking this ghastly risk is the condition of there being life. — Alan Watts
In this way, as Alan Watts wrote, your eyes are open to the true essence of human existence.
They open their arms, and entirely defenseless, you touch their heart, feeding into a consciousness that no sensible person ought to get themselves involved with.
Passing the ordinary person on a street, you see only the surface and it is a rather scrappy image, not worth your time.
But, here, while you sit facing her/him, you can only see lights and stars, as if a thousand chandeliers invaded the room, all toppling over each other with lights bouncing from the glass in every direction possible. The room seems to be a host to the angels, but you can only see one person.
Looking around, you find yourself amongst the stars. But, wait, I was not paying attention — my mind was too busy. How do I get back?
It is true that many people try to run at this moment, but they will not get very far. For it is difficult to run when there is no gravity. However, still, they look for a way to save themselves. They never become wholly vulnerable to the other person, despite a deep desire to do so — every heart string in their core wants them to.
It is too much of a risk, far too foolish. And so, this spiritual connection that they are so lucky to have experienced is wasted.
This person therefore clings to themselves and, in turn, clings to their significant other because of a fear over something which they do not control. However, by holding on to yourself and to your partner, you suffocate yourself and the other person also.
You fill yourself with anxiety, you become manic and jealous, and while you harm yourself, you also do not realize that you are strangling the person you fell in love with. This creates tension and strain between the couple.
You cannot be afraid to love. You have to let yourself go, to surrender yourself.
To understand love, you must let it be and not try to grasp it or try to force it. With love and with life, you have to sail with the wind, not against it. You have to express every emotion that your heart feels, but also recognize that this is a form of surrender and you have no power over the person who you surrendered to. Any choice to control your surroundings is futile.