As is frequently the case with male victims of rape, male victims of domestic abuse are often told it’s “not that bad” or that they “must be ok with it”; after all, they could always defend themselves against the “little lady,” right?
Enthusiastic consent isn’t about a call and response for every step of the way; it’s not “May I touch you here? May I kiss you now? May I undo your bra?” It’s about dirty talk; grabbing your lover by the back of the head and growling “I want you now.”
How many times have you said “Of course… I’m a guy?” to a question without thinking about it? Or made a statement about how all guys are X or all women are Y? Right there, you’re falling into gendered stereotypes about men and women without realizing it.
Cry harlot! and let slip the blogs of war.
Yet every time, every time, we hear about a man beating a woman, there is inevitably a chorus that chimes in with some variation of “well, maybe she deserved it.”
Sex, you see, is about more than how many tricks and secret techniques you’ve learned. It’s not just about being able to give the Transylvanian Twist or the Swirly-Go-Round.
You want to know the main reason why sex seems so damned difficult to come by unless you’re one of the blessed few who seem to have an intrinsic grasp of social dynamics?
You need a certain level of self-awareness if you want to avoid the mistakes you’ve made before and not inflict more unnecessary pain and hardship on yourself or on the people you want to date. So it’s important to recognize that there are times when we shouldn’t be dating… at least for a little while.
5. Stop Overthinking Things