You’re afraid of rejection.
If they have plans, you two end up doing the raincheck dance.
“Are you free tomorrow?”
“No, I have a colonoscopy.”
“Oh, how about after?”
It’s cliche. And you don’t want to be the “boring” one.
What the hell will you two talk about?
You’ve already had coffee. Five cups of it.
You’re hungry. You’ll be hungry. It’ll be too much if you invite them to have lunch with you. Besides, you want a meatball sub and that’s not something you have with an acquaintance.
You actually really hate coffee.
You know they like to talk politics and you have no interest in getting into an argument with them.
Their teeth are already pretty stained and you don’t want to contribute to the problem.
You’re afraid they might judge the drink you like to get at your favorite coffee shop. (And judge you in the process.)
Okay, they’re coffee snobs.
You remember you actually don’t like them.
The only cafe nearby blasts O.A.R. all the time.
You’re afraid they don’t have your number and you’re afraid you’ll be seen as a “stalker” for having it.
You might spill the coffee you’re drinking on yourself.
Coffee makes you poop and you’re afraid they’ll know what’s up when you go to the bathroom and don’t come back for 10 minutes.
You might actually fall in love with them and that’s not good because you already love someone and you’re not willing to take that chance.
They don’t like Drake.
They really alcohol in their coffee. Turn up!
Your stomach makes weird noises after you have a cup of coffee, and you’re embarrassed.
They’re allergic to caffeine.
They’ll ask, “Oh, is this it?” in a really let-down voice, when they enter the cafe.
You’re wearing white.
The coffee shop is always full of mothers and their babies, so it’s hazardous to walk through the baby carriages with a mug full of hot coffee.
The baristas know you by name and it’s embarrassing to bring people there because the baristas always ask, “Oh, what happened to the other one?”
You have a crush on the barista and you don’t want to accidentally get the barista jealous.
You don’t want to be too early or too late, or even just on time to the coffee shop. You don’t want to meet at a different location either, because that doesn’t make sense. You also don’t want to walk to the coffee shop with them, because you might exhaust conversation topics.
This is why it’s really hard to make friends.