Talking to someone’s wife isn’t a big deal — I mean, it shouldn’t be, right? Two adults talking to one another. That’s the basis, at least. However, a man took to Reddit to ask if his friend’s wife was taking things a little too far.
The backstory: He chats with his friend’s wife a lot because her job is boring — he finds the distraction welcome, and it appears that she does too. In the midst of chatting, it’s revealed that she’s had a little crush on him. Here’s the story in full:
I am friends with both the husband and wife in question. I met them through other friends and a mutual hobby we’re both heavily involved in. They’re awesome people to hang out with and I do so regularly. The husband, we’ll refer to him as John, works a lot so we don’t get to chat very much. However, his wife who we’ll refer to as Rachel chats with me a lot as she works part time and has a relatively boring job. It’s nice having someone I know well to chat with throughout the day. Needless to say, she’s extremely good looking, even for having had 3 kids and being in her mid-late 30s (myself being 10 years younger), but I try not to let that matter to me. I’ve been single for a long while now after a bad breakup with an ex and a brief battle with some depression from a non-related issue, so being able to chat with an attractive woman regularly has been good for the self-esteem.
Anyways, recently she told me that she’s secretly had a crush on me and as weird as that was to hear at my age, it was sort of funny and since then I’ve used that to sort of playfully embarrass her in our conversations. It was also nice to hear that after my breakup and depression that hey, maybe Im not so bad after all. However, things have sort of progressed in a way I’m completely unsure of (thus no regrets, yet).
One night the 3 of us were hanging out at a bar having a ton of fun. Obviously there was much drinking but evidently she had a lot more to drink than I did. After I get home that night, I text both of them to let them know I got home safe. Her and I chat a bit before I pass out, but as I am passing out she sends me a photo… It wasn’t a nude, but it was revealing. However, the next morning I wake up with a hangover only to see another text from her with a photo, this one much more revealing than the last. She text me apologizing and saying that she should not have done it. I play it off as if the photos never made it through which is semi-truth as Ive had issues with my phone refusing to download MMS photos in texts previously; just not with those. We both move on from it and try not to bring it up.
More recently, things have flared up again and she’s been saying some things to imply she’s flirting with me too, and while I’ve just been playing along for sake of conversation I am trying to figure out why this is happening and what to do. She’s mentioned a few times how she routinely has vivid dreams and how I’ve cropped up in a few of them in non-sexual ways. She also sent me a picture of her backside as a “joke” about a someone we know, but I dont know if thats the truth or if there was an another reason. In the last week between our texting and facebook chats, things have become rather sexual with her mentioning how she once was going to bed and tried to force herself to have a dream about a sexual encounter with me.
Now, as someone who in the last year really hasn’t been out there dating or seeing people, this is all exciting me because it’s been a long while since things like these have happened but I almost feel deathly scared of them because of who they are with. Have I been letting things go too far? Should I stop them or just let them be and never let any actions come of them? As it stands there’s been absolutely zero physical action taken and everything seems to have been harmless flirting, but I just don’t want to throw myself into something I really don’t want to get involved in (read: an affair). I don’t necessarily feel bad about anything that’s happened either since it has, in my mind, been harmless.
Has he been letting this go on for too long? Has she stepped across the line? What should he do?