This Guy Found Out His Pregnant Wife Was Having An Affair With Her Boss. What Should He Do?

Shutterstock / triocean
Shutterstock / triocean

In a story that anyone can only describe as upsetting, a husband found out his wife — his pregnant wife — had been cheating on him with her boss. He writes that he found their conversations purely through accident, but upon reading the transcript, he was shocked and horrified to find the worst.

Here’s the Reddit thread in full:

My wife of 5 years had an affair with a co-worker last year. She was already pregnant with my child at the time. I’m sure the baby is mine, because I discovered all of their chat logs and pieced together a timeline. We also have a 2-year-old son.

I found their conversations by accident, which started off fairly innocent, flirtatious, but turned raunchy pretty quickly. They started meeting at and outside of work, for coffee and sex respectively. She went away for several ‘business trips’, leaving me and our kid alone at home, pretending all the while like nothing was going on.

I have told her many times during our relationship, even last year: You can get away with pretty much anything with me, except cheating. It’s just a dealbreaker for me. Always has been, and I thought it always would be. But we have one kid, and another on the way. We have a house. We have a life. And that gives my heart pause.

But she knew what she was getting into. She knew what would happen if I found out. She knew it every time she told him how much she was looking forward to next time. While she was scheming to get away. While I texted her how her meetings were going while she was in a hotel room with him.

She says she’s sorry. Far as I can tell, she broke it off. He’s almost 20 years her senior, a superior at her work (different department) and his wife doesn’t know.

We started therapy two days after I found out, at my insistence. We’ve had bad sessions and good ones, terrible weeks and week weeks where I remembered the woman I loved. But now, she’s just not that woman to me anymore.

Every videogame I bought without telling her, I had to feel for months during arguments. Every cigarette I smoked was one I would regret for weeks. And because she has always demanded absolute honesty from me, I automatically assumed that is what she was. So honesty was a huge part of the idea I’ve always had of her. And this idea is now shaken to its core.

I believe she won’t do it again, and that she is truly remorseful. But every time I hear her phone ring, I feel it. Every time we’re watching TV and cheating or even just sex comes up, I feel it. I don’t picture her and I, or me with someone else, I picture her and him.

And I think that’s because I read every word they ever exchanged on chat. That being pregnant was perfect, because they wouldn’t need a condom. How she should shave her pussy. How much she loved his taste, and how deep he got. What positions they should try once her belly gets bigger. How she felt something other than lust. And it’s tearing me apart. I can never look at her the same again.

But I cannot be this guy. A man that walks out on a 30 week pregnant wife and a son. How could I live with myself? But then, how can I cope if I stay?

I don’t think I love her anymore. Or if I do, it’s just not the same. I find my eyes straying when she’s not around, and glazing over when she is. My heart tells me the love is gone. But is that all there is? Is it worth staying behind after all that’s happened? What the hell do I do?

Wow, my heart goes out this man. Truly. It does.

He doesn’t feel the “love” — he describes it as “gone.” And yet, he doesn’t want to be the man who walks out on a 30-week pregnant wife.

What do you think he should do? Please, let us know in the comments. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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