Most of the time, my friends confide their relationships to me. They talk about their failures, misbehaviors and what not. I am always willing to listen earnestly and if they will allow me to give my wisdom, I do give them one or two.
At first, I don’t understand why they talk about it but sooner I did. They needed to be heard regardless of how many they’ve already told the same story to others. They wanted to assure themselves that they’re not alone. That they got someone else’s hands to hold theirs when things go awry.
But I was never that kind of friend. The one who confides his relationship to his close friends and loved ones. Don’t get me wrong but I trust my friends. I also love listening to their stories and me, sharing mine. But if it is about relationship, I don’t get that very far. It’s like opening the door but actually locking it instead.
The reason why I don’t share or talk about my relationship with my loved ones or friends is because my relationship is exclusive between me and my lover. I am not saying that other people should not be involve with us but our failures as a couple is us – the two people who are conjuring the magic and the same people who are driving the car.
A relationship is a confidential case. Only the people involve are allowed to open the case, to resolve it, and give verdict to it.
I know that other people’s perspectives are needed in resolving it but relationships are supposed to be a mutual agreement. You need to ask your counter-part if you can talk about it with other people or the people close to you. You cannot just spill your beans into your social media accounts and get sympathy from other people. That’s just very wrong.
Relationships are a learning experience. You can talk about it, sure, but only if you have weigh everything – its pros and cons.
You are not the only passenger in the car, there are two of you. And probably there are other people who are sitting at the back seat rooting and cheering for the both of you.
So, instead of talking about it with the people you know and close to you, why not talk about it with someone you actually don’t know and you never knew existed.
Because when you involve the people close to your heart with your relationship drama, you can’t always get the best wisdom the world has to offer. There is also a tendency for them to misjudge the both of you.
This is not to say that the people close to us are not good enough to help us and share their past experiences for us to learn but you need to value the importance of keeping the deepest darkest characters you both have in your sleeves and shown to each other.
It is not about trust. It is not about the taste of betrayal. It is not about selfishness. It is about protecting each other from the judgments our loved ones will give us.
Like what people always say, “Once the damage is done, it’s done”.
You can never ever bring back what has given us. You can never ever fix the scars it might bring. You will always regret them for the rest of your lives.
But when you talk about your relationship with someone you don’t know their judgments are fair and equal. They might bring you insights and wisdom you never notice because you are clouded with all the assumptions, loves, and concerns that our loved ones are giving us.
Strangers are the tiny reflection of the Universe. They are small universes that hold the Secrets of the Universe itself.
Strangers are God’s given truths – scattered like a million dazzling stars in the night sky.
Once you talk about your drama with them, you will not just have hands to hold you but the Universe and God will comfort you and cheer you on. You have got the truth and the wholeness that will eventually help you with your relationship.
It might also grow into another close knit friendship. You never know.