‘I am yours,’ you say the words as truthfully as I’d always imagined. Your voice is filled with utmost sincerity, and your eyes, they reflect all the admiration you have for me!
You’re mine. But sugar, you really aren’t. Because you and I, we’ve been through hell.
We’re not bent, we’re absolutely broken. We are shattered into pieces like glass, crumpled like yesterday’s newspapers. Yet we strive to mend our debris into something sinfully beautiful.
We loved different people. You built a wall of stone, sensing something sinister. I wore an armour of metal, experiencing a disaster. And life went on for both of us. Eventually, amidst all the emotional wreckage, you and I, we crossed paths with each other.
You notice the pretend in my happy words, the little hope that’s surviving as embers behind my sparkling eyes, the pain behind by wide grin and the idealist behind the cynic that I have become.
You wipe my tears clean, like summer rain soothing the torrid terrain. You hug my pain away, like the quilt and a hot cup of coffee that provide warmth on a chilly night. You rock my worries to sleep, like a hammock that provides comfort on that long-deserving Mediterranean vacation. We’re pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly. But its contents are nothing but mere objects of nothingness. They make sense, but only temporarily. Albeit they provide me solace and give you happiness, it’s all momentary.
The darkest of my secrets, the absolute rawness of my body and the utmost nudity of my mind, I can let you explore every aspect of these to the absolute fullest because for the first time in a very long time, I am not afraid. I don’t live in the fear of loss or heartbreak anymore.
‘I am yours’ you say, and ‘you are mine’ I repeat in reassurance, adding another ‘I am yours’ as a reply to your phrase, as you cuddle with me in the comfort of the night, spooning me from behind, providing me comfort, security and salvation from the monsters in my mind.
Then again, I know it’s all evanescent. That it will all disappear in the blink of an eye. But I am willing to lose myself in this serendipity for as long as possible.
For beings like us, who cannot take enough risk with our own inner demons, let alone each other’s, whatever we have together, is nothing short of bliss.
I love you. I might as well be in love with you. And I know how you feel even when you don’t express it. You are mine, I am yours. You put a smile on my face, even when I am pissed. Because you say that upward curve on my lips gives you one in turn. Life with you is euphoric, even if it’s for the moment, even if it dissipates tomorrow, the same way dew drops that kiss petals of a flower at dawn evaporates at the first ray of the sun.
You might be my one and only. You might be the one that will get away. You might be the one that will never be. You might be the one to whom saying goodbyes might be painful, but I want to live the present in your crazy company. So, even if you are the one that’s mine, or not… it doesn’t really matter. Because the ‘now’ with you is spectacular.