Reality TV Shows I Wish Existed
Pimp My Bride
This “bride makeover” show would be hosted by prominent rappers and scored to ‘90s hip-hop. The premiere episode would feature Chamillionaire telling a bride-to-be that he’s “tricked out” her wedding dress with a “sick new stereo system,” or some other equally entertaining statement at least three times an episode. [Author’s Note: I considered the misogynistic implications of titling a show Pimp My Bride and flirted with instead titling it Pimp the Bride, or even Pimping Myself, neither of which seemed any better.]
_____ and Karim Plus 18
Formatted similarly to Jon and Kate Plus 8, this show would follow a 25-year-old version of myself and whoever lives with me at that point in my life as we struggle to keep up with our careers and relationships while attempting to raise eighteen cats in a small studio apartment.
60 and Pregnant
This show would follow knocked-up elderly women through their nine-month pregnancy. (Alternate title: Miraculously Still Menstruating.)
Book Swap
Individuals or families with dramatically different lifestyles and levels of education trade favorite books with each other and struggle to “get through”/ comprehend them.
For example, I would give my mom a copy of Infinite Jest, who would loan me The Help or some other novel “the ladies” in her book club told her to read. We would both have nervous breakdowns, shout at cameramen, and throw things as we attempt to appreciate each other’s literary tastes.
Celebrity Book Swap
In lieu of the much-hyped development of a celebrity-based Wife Swap adaptation, this seems like the logical next step for Book Swap. Oprah swapping books with James Franco. Dr. Oz swapping books with Charlize Theron. Tom Hanks swapping books with Cyndi Lauper. David Hasselhoff revealing in a dramatic sequence that he’s illiterate. The possibilities are endless.
“Cops”
A show following the careers of male “cop strippers.”